Anniversary Shenaigans: Author Visit + Giveaway - Alexa Land

Alexa Land dropped by the stable today and she brought a surprise guest with her.  Can you guess who????

She's the Queen of Shenanigans, Defender of Gay Homosexuals, everyone's favorite grandma, Nana!!!!!

Ah, Nana Dombruso, heart and soul of the Firsts and Forever Series! She means well, and she loves her ‘gay homosexual’ boys more than anything. But things don’t always go as planned for Nana, especially during her cable TV cooking show. In this classic scene from Against the Wall, Nana makes a wedding cake for an impromptu Valentine’s Day wedding:

Bless your heart.  Nana, how do you get yourself into these situations?

“Ah, there are our grooms!” she exclaimed when she spotted Skye and Dare. “Come join us, boys, we’re about to make your wedding cake! We didn’t know what flavor you wanted, so we went with all of them! Jessie, you ready?” He smiled and nodded. “Alright kiddo, start stacking!”

Jessie and Nana worked as a team, lifting a series of twelve-inch-round Valentine’s Day-pink cakes and stacking them on top of each other as Nana explained, “Bakers charge a premium for wedding cakes, but it’s just a question of stacking, people! It’s so easy, anyone can do it! Now, I didn’t have a chance to custom order anything, so I just went with what they had at the bakery. Normally, you maybe want to use cakes of different sizes, but this’ll work. Once you finish building your cake tower, pipe on some frosting, slap on some fresh flowers and you’ve got yourself a wedding cake!”

“How big are we going, Nana?” Jessie asked as they piled on cake after cake.

“Big as you want!”

“This is pretty big,” Jessie said, looking up at the cake tower.

“We should cap it off with this fancy princess cake as a nice finishing touch.” Nana said, climbing up on a stepstool and hoisting up a rounded dome cake covered with pink marzipan. It was slightly wider than the cakes below it, and as soon as it was in place, Jessie stepped back, blinked at what they’d made, and said, “Oops.” Then he started laughing. Chance had his camera around his neck and started snapping photos as he chuckled delightedly.

“Oh shit,” Nana exclaimed as I doubled over with laughter, “we accidentally made a giant weenie dongle.” Shea was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his face.

The huge cake dong started listing to the right and Nana grabbed hold of it with both hands. “Fuck a duck, Jessie, we forgot a key step! We needed to keep it stiff!” He was laughing so hard by this point that he had to lean against the kitchen counter to remain upright.

“It is really important to keep it stiff,” he managed.

“You were supposed to insert your wood! How could we forget that?” Nana told him. The fact that she was gesturing with her chin toward some thin wooden dowels was lost on her assistant, who was struggling to breathe.

The cake was leaning even further by now and she ended up hugging it and trying to heave it upright. Jessie collapsed on the kitchen floor, howling with laughter, and a chuckling Skye and Dare jumped in to try to lend a hand. They both hesitated though, unsure where exactly to grab the frosting-covered phallus.

“This is awesome,” Trevor said as he panned the camera across the scene before him, a huge smile on his face. Joshie wandered in just then, paperback in hand. He took one look at the chaos, shook his head, and left the room again.

Meanwhile, Nana teetered on the stepstool, trying to wrestle the cock cake into an upright position with both arms wrapped around it. “It looks like she’s trying to jerk it off,” Chance murmured as he chuckled and kept snapping photos.

“Quick Skye, hand me that thing on the counter,” Nana exclaimed.

She probably meant the dowel, but Skye grabbed a pastry bag filled with white icing and said, “This?” as he held the bag up to her.

Nana grabbed it without looking and reached for the top of the cake. She squeezed the bag too hard though as she lost her footing, sending a jet of white icing shooting toward the ceiling. It arced up and over, splattering the grooms. I laughed so hard that my sides hurt. Dare caught her easily as Nana fell off the stool.

“Well, that was a satisfying climax,” Shea quipped, still chuckling as he wiped tears from his eyes.

*****

Nana and her bestie.  Such fashionistas!

I’m hosting a Nana-inspired giveaway! To enter the contest, comment on this post and tell me what you’d like to see Nana do next, either in the kitchen or in general. One winner drawn at random will receive a $25 Amazon gift card. Be sure to leave a way to contact you in your comment, if you’re the lucky winner!

*****

About Alexa

Alexa Land is an independent author of gay fiction and romance. Her character-driven books include the best-selling Firsts and Forever Series, set in present-day San Francisco, which is currently at twelve volumes and counting. Who I Used to Be was published in August and is the most recent book in the series. Next up is Worlds Away, Sawyer and Alastair’s story, which should be out by the end of the year.

You can find Alexa Land:

On facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008216261875

On twitter: @AlexaLandWrites

And on her blog: http://alexalandwrites.blogspot.com/

Make sure to leave a comment below to be entered for a chance to win $25 Amazon gift card. Name to be drawn randomly.

Be sure to leave your email, Twitter handle or Goodreads profile link by no later than Midnight EST November 27th, so we can contact you. If there is no response within 48 hrs, another winner will be chosen. Good luck!



Don't miss entering in our month long unicorn giveaway here!