Author Visit & Giveaway: Tali Spencer Takes Over with an Exclusive Excerpt & a HUGE Giveaway!

Tali Spencer, author of the Happy Hour Chat book Thick as Thieves, has come to the clubhouse and taken over the unicorn reins. Take it away, Tali!

Princes and Thieves

Thanks so much to the Unicorns for inviting me to be your guest! I love what you’re doing because reading books is some of the best fun there is. In celebration of my first ever invitation to be a guest author, and because we’re also celebrating a great new year, I’m holding a giveaway in conjunction with this post. The winner will receive a bundle of items: a signed paperback of Thick as Thieves, a lovely basilisk eye necklace (it’s really pretty), a unicorn zipper coin purse, Thick as Thieves notebook, and other fun swag.

There were many reasons why I wrote Thick as Thieves, but one I haven’t talked about much is that I wanted to give readers a different kind of fantasy. So many high fantasy stories deal with the upper echelons: kings and princes, wizards or generals, and have kingdoms or entire worlds at stake. Don’t get me wrong, either: I love those stories! I write them. But this time I wanted to do something else.

Neither of the main characters in Thick as Thieves is a prince or wizard or possesses any social status. Sure, Vorgell proclaims that his father was chief of his barbarian tribe, but the fact is Vorgell has lost his family and had to flee for his life. He doesn’t even have a country anymore. He joined up with a band of thugs, got beaten in battle and was even briefly enslaved. Now he’s just homeless and, because he ignorantly killed a unicorn, he’s also enchanted and permanently horny.

He’s just a down on his luck man with a hard on.

Madd has no family either, but even when he did no one respected him. He’s despised among his own kind, the witchkin, whose matriarchal leaders have no use for a man-loving male. Resentful and rebellious, he spent his adolescent years on the streets of Gurgh, where he picked up a few unsavory skills and became a penny ante thief. He doesn’t have much magic and what he does have, he barely knows how to use. Except for being good-looking enough to have snagged an evil nobleman’s eye, he’s not even close to being exceptional.

The biggest challenge these guys face is survival—and soon after meeting each other they realize they’ll have more success together than apart.

And that’s what the story is about. It’s about two men who have to worry about things like where they’ll sleep for the night, whether the tavern keeper who took their coin is watering down their beer, who might be trying to kill them, or how the next person they meet is going to try to screw them over. They’re not concerned with princes because they don’t know any princes. They’re not concerned with wars because they have no intention of fighting for either side. They’re figuring out the rules as they go along, just like most people.

Also, because so much of life—mine, yours, everyone’s—is crazy, unexpected, and frequently absurd, I decided to give my guys problems only a fantasy could encompass. Vorgell is enchanted to be a walking erection in need of release, and he’s more than happy to jump into a fight given the slightest opportunity. Madd wears an enchanted collar that means every time he gets close, he desires the man who put it on him, even though he hates the guy. Is it any wonder he’s angry at the world? They live in a world where witches are in hiding, thugs and thieves rule the streets, and wizards command deadly fiends. Yes, the result is slightly askew, but I wrote it to be fun, a little different, and yet a fully realized book of high fantasy and adventure.

At the end of the day, I hope readers will find my characters and their world worth spending time with. Vorgell and Madd may not be princes, and only occasionally noble, but they’re earnest.

Up for an excerpt? I told the Unicorns they would get the very first sneak peak at the next book, Thick as Ice. This is the opening scene. It’s not edited yet, so the published version may be slightly different—but I bet not much.

Excerpt from Tali Spencer's Thick as Ice:

The ice harpy looked unhappy. Her flat little eyes fixed on Vorgell and she fluffed her ice-rimmed leg feathers in warning. The temperature in the room plummeted so his next breath emerged as frost.

Vorgell had never seen a happy ice harpy. Even when not imprisoned like this one was in an enchanted cage at the center of a magical room, ice harpies were miserable creatures. To start with, their magic froze everything around them. The cold air of this room would have reduced him to violent shivers had he not had the forethought to clothe his body with furs in the middle of summer. Even the moonlight pouring through the glazed windows was cold. He glanced toward the other side of the room, where Madd crouched on the floor behind the ice harpy’s back. His partner was also bundled in furs as he worked on the room’s magical perimeter.

Vorgell’s job was to occupy the harpy.

He shrugged out of his heavy fur cloak. The leather jerkin he still wore showcased his broad chest and manly arms. The harpy craned her neck and spread her wings the better to display two very human-looking breasts atop her narrow, bird-like body. As was usual with ice harpies, her breasts were enticing. billowy soft, with pink perky nipples. Vorgell knew better than to fall for such charms. He’d seen ice harpies in action. The moment the lustful harpy succeeded in mounting him—an act he was determined to thwart—her pretty tits would deflate into unsightly bags. Not only were ice harpies miserable, they were devious. His cock, however, responded to the sight of two large firm globes and glorious cleavage by plumping with interest, pushing out his trouser front.

He damned the unicorn magic that made him susceptible to sexual lures of every persuasion. That he had fucked a unicorn horn in a moment of weakness left him vulnerable now… and very appealing to the ice harpy. One of the most unsavory of magical beasts, ice harpies needed to mate with human males if they were to breed. This was difficult on two counts: not only were the sexual habits of ice harpies disgusting, but any man who succumbed to their questionable charms ended up freezing to death.

Willing males were hard to come by.

No wonder this harpy now eyed Vorgell with anticipation. From across the room, Madd looked up with a scowl and gesticulated that he needed a little more time. Apparently the wizards who had set the wards had been as skilled as was rumored. Madd was now gloveless and working frantically, but at least he still wore several layers of furs. Vorgell was beginning to shiver.

Forcing a grin of nonchalance, Vorgell opened the flap of his trousers, releasing his erect cock into view. Breasts bobbing, the ice harpy danced on her perch. The feathered mound between her plump avian legs opened to reveal a rosy slit already wreathed by mist in the frigid air. It was… terrifying, actually. Vorgell swallowed hard. He waggled his cock and, when he saw the harpy was transfixed by the sight, shot a desperate look at Madd.

Two slender cones of bluish light rose from the floor to each side of the softly chanting, dark haired male witch. Madd extended his deft hands and touched each blue magical object with a gleaming dragon’s fang. The wards flared and vanished. Madd raised his head, lifted his thumb, and delivered a wide grin of triumph that nearly melted Vorgell on the spot… which was good considering how frozen he was beginning to feel. The little guy’s smile also went straight to Vorgell’s cock, inspiring dreams of how he planned to celebrate.

Emboldened by thoughts of Madd wrapping those bewitching lips around his cock, Vorgell stepped forward across the now disarmed floor. His approach caused the harpy to lift her wings and squawk with excitement. She pressed herself against the bars, licked her thin little lips and craned toward him. Kneeling below the cage, he removed the water pouch tucked between his belt and belly and trickled a stream into a depression in the floor. It took only a moment for the magical fluid in the mold to freeze into a key. He retrieved it and stood to unlock the door. Unnoticed by the amorous harpy, Madd crept up with all the stealth of a seasoned cutpurse and thief.

The door swung open. With a shriek of lust, the harpy leaped upon Vorgell. Her thighs gripped his hips and her nauseating breath iced his lips right before Madd tossed a net of blood-hued string and gold-edged red feathers over the creature and the contraption snapped tight around her, binding the harpy into an feathered ball. The room noticeably warmed.

“Quick!” Madd wrapped his fur cloak over the harpy and scooped her up into his arms as he hurried toward the window through which they’d entered.

Vorgell dashed to get his own fur cloak—wolf pelts were costly and he had paid much for the work—and fastened it around his shoulders. He caught up with Madd in a bare few leaps, his long legs eating the distance. Making a stirrup of his hands, he catapulted Madd and their prize up onto the window ledge, then climbed to join him.

They left nothing behind but a puddle from the melted key.

Tali has an amazing giveaway prepared in connection with this post. Check out the awesome stuffs you can win!!

Unipornian swag pack!

• signed Thick as Thieves paperback
• a unicorn themed canvas lunch bag
• Thick as Thieves notebook
• unicorn coin purse
• unicorn horn hand soap
• Petal the basilisk mug
• a basilisk eye necklace

Basilisk eye pendant!

:::How to Enter:::

Leave a comment on this post, including a method of contacting you (e.g., email address, Twitter handle, Goodreads profile if you accept messages, etc.), for your chance to win this amazing prize package! The giveaway is open until 10PM (Pacific time) on January 27th, 2014, and a winner will be selected at random shortly thereafter. The winner must respond to our message within 48 hours or else we will select another winner.

Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor! ;)

Thanks for stopping by and bringing this amazing swag package, Tali!