Review: Sharing Secrets by Matthew J. Metzger

Adam has a secret. But maybe Charlie has a few of his own.

Adam’s got a secret and nobody knows.

He’s promised himself never to get into relationships and risk revealing it, but Charlie Fielding has a way of getting under one’s skin. One party, one kiss and Adam is faced with a horrible choice—tell Charlie the truth or keep quiet. And either way, lose the only friends he’s had in years.

But Charlie might have a secret, too—and everybody knows but Adam.

"Nobody knows."

Matthew J. Metzger is a MUST read author for me, he is absolutely amazing,  yet he's one that I don't hear enough about and that's a real shame.

This book, like many of Metzger's, is YA - but it's real. The characters aren't some polished Hollywood version of teens, they are teens I can relate to and understand (despite my teen years being a loooong time ago!) Real proper characters. Adam and Charlie are just two unique characters that sold me their story in the first couple of pages. 

Many of Metzger's novels feature transgender characters, and this one is no different; the ups and downs and secrets and hurt aren't how you think they're going to be though. It's not straightforward, and it's not easy, but it's also compelling to read. To understand. To think about things in a different way than before.

I really don't want to spoil the storyline, so I'm being very vague. okay, so the storyline is absolutely compelling reading. I personally think this is the type of book that should be in school libraries, it covers diversity and illness/disability in the way it should; with a normalcy sadly lacking in many books. Adam, Charlie, Phoebe and Ollie are still teens doing teen things with teen worries. Give 'em a few years and they'd be adults doing adult things with adult worries... they just have another aspect to them. Adam and Charlie's are mayhaps a bit larger to deal with. 

I love how Metzger writes this but I'm struggling to put it into words without sounding ridiculous. Everyone is different. Everyone has things to deal with. Some are harder to cope with than others, but the people (characters) are still people and Metzger nails that. There are no caricatures in his literature.

The small town setting - the families, school, secondary characters - they all worked together to support the MC's and their story. It is a fantastic piece of work.

I absolutely think everyone should read this author. If YA isn't your thing then pick up another of his novels, but whatever you do check him out. He's very talented and this book was - IS - amazing.

A copy of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.

Review: Volatile (Treacherous Chemistry #1) by Avylinn Winter

Like a depressed moth drawn to a wild flame, Chris hoped that flame would brighten his life, not burn him alive.

Chris Sinclair fades into a gray world after losing his mother to cancer. When forced to attend a concert as a last attempt to coax him out of his shell, he discovers that life might not be as bleak as he first thought.

Dante Heron holds the audience between the tips of his fingers and the delicate bow, playing the violin as if every heart is his to command. However, something darker brews behind the façade, and Chris is determined to solve the enigma.

When Chris is offered the job of traveling around Europe with the famous violinist, he surprises himself by accepting. With no idea what awaits him, he's thrown into a world where emotions rule and rules are bent.

They're a perfectly dysfunctional match, but then there's always calm at the heart of the storm.

I love characters that are dysfunctional and hurting or flawed in some way. I love healing stories (not ones about the magic power of a healing penis though, they get on my wick). As I read the blurb I was super excited because this book sounded exactly like my cup of tea. And you know how seriously us Brits take our tea...

I was, unfortunately, disappointed by this book though. However much I wanted it to, it didn't work for me. 

I think my main problem is that the author did too much telling for my liking. I didn't feel what the characters felt, not from their perspective, I was just told it. The telling was good, the author isn't a bad writer but there was just too much of it. Telling is needed but too much keeps from an emotional attachment and a book like this needs emotional attachment. The style of the writing meant I didn't get to know or grow attached to the characters. Without that I had no anchor to the story. I wanted to like them, I really did - Dante especially had so much potential for me, but at the end of the day I just didn't care enough. 

So, for me, this book didn't work, which is sad but that's how reading is. Definitely check out other reviews to get a wider spectrum of opinions.

A copy of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.
For more information see Goodreads.

Review: Driven by MB Mulhall

Eighteen-year-old Oliver’s troubles don’t end when he’s released from prison. He has nowhere to go, and he can’t even think about moving past his crimes while trying to survive homelessness.

Helping an elderly woman after a fall guides Oliver into at least a temporary home. In exchange for odd jobs and some assistance, he’s welcomed into a life with the old twin spinsters, and it seems too good to be true. The neighbor, Simon, certainly thinks it is. He doesn’t trust Oliver or his motives. Oliver is used to that kind of judgment, but it isn’t helping him overcome his guilt. Maybe Simon is right and Oliver doesn’t deserve happiness—or any of the other feelings stirring in a heart Oliver thought he’d closed off for good.

Oliver has two options: let the pain of his past swallow him and destroy all hope for the future, or move on to the new possibilities in front of him. Choosing to live won’t be easy, and Oliver might not be able to do it alone.

I loved the blurb and the promise of this book, it is fair to say though the writing style didn't quite work for me.

I liked the way MB Mulhall set up the story; chapter one gave me a taste of something terrible to coma and it did make me want to read more. It was dramatic enough, written with just the right amount of information given and withheld and I was absolutely eager for more. Moving on into the story, I liked the whole premise of it and I liked the characters (particularly the twins!) 

Unfortunately, that is where I stopped liking it. For my taste the writing style didn't work, it tended to be a bit overly dramatic for my tastes and sometimes reasoning for actions and reactions felt convenient. I had eye-rolling moments. Several of them - but (and I know I harp back to this time and again) what is an eye-rolling moment for me, is the cherry on the top for another reader. Plenty of my very closest reader friends and I disagree on writing styles. (MY own sister doesn't like Harry Potter. I mean, that's nearly worthy of disowning, right?) All I can say is what didn't work for me. 

Some of the descriptions were a bit over the top for my liking. One scene that stuck in my head was how Oliver is absolutely petrified of getting into a car, it is a main theme of the book - yet when he does sexy thoughts of Simon help him not realise the journey had past. For me this felt like a big WTF because there is no way I could relate to it. Not the fear, but the way dirty thoughts overcame the fear. They felt so unrelated and unbelievable to me - yet I'm sure that many other readers wouldn't have thought twice about this. Or, you know, liked the way Oliver was distracted from the fear.

I did absolutely hate Oliver's mum and I really didn't like the way she was given some redemption. It was too little too late. I'm not saying that she shouldn't be allowed the redemption, but it was just given because of circumstances and ... well, it pissed me right off to be honest. I understood her pain, I really truly did, I can't imagine it. but she was still Oliver's mum and Oliver needed her. I was so angry at her.

I don't know, it's not a bad book but it really wasn't for me. Check out other reviews because they're probably saying something completely different.

A copy of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.
For more information see Harmony Ink Press or Goodreads.

Review: When It All Falls Down by Tanya Chris

Maybe Charlie should have waited until he graduated high school before coming out, because since that revelation there’s been a growing distance between him and his friends. Charlie’s tough, though. He doesn’t mind eating lunch alone or watching his former gang interact with their new best buddy. What he does mind is seeing Drew Lavoitt suffer the same fate.

Drew didn’t come out. As far as he, or anyone else knows, he’s straight. What Drew did is accidentally hit and kill a little girl. Now the boy who was voted Most Popular, and who Charlie has maybe had a crush on since eighth grade, faces financial ruin, expulsion, and the fear that if he’s not everything, he’s not enough.
Popularity, wealth, acclaim—these things are easily lost. In each other’s arms, Drew and Charlie find something that can’t be taken from them. Together the two build a foundation on which they can re-create their lives.

My Kindle notes say: Great story, happy vibe, positive vibe, and I think this sums up the book nicely. It seems from the blurb that this could be a real drama driven book, with teen angst all over the place - but it wasn't. Whilst some of the events in this story were sad and some difficult to deal with, the story as a whole was positive. It showed how people, in this case teens, cope and deal with circumstances beyond their control. 

The character of Charlie was interesting to me. Often we see how bad coming out is for teens, in this book though, Charlie, for the most part, actually expected a worse reaction from people than what he got. I know that this is far, far from the experience of many people coming out. It gives me hope though, that the future of GBLTQ people is better than that of the past. My first reaction was to think that such positivity was unrealistic - then I thought about all the prom proposal videos that circle each year featuring GBLTQ youth and I realised that things are getting better. 

Younger generations, for a good part, don't discriminate. They stand behind their peers and celebrate the diversity of their generation. (Too) slowly things are changing for the better. Or at least they have been, but this is a book review, not a political statement. My point is, that Charlie expected negativity when he came out. He actually read it in places that it wasn't, in his group of friends, with his father... His expectations were of the worst, and it didn't turn out that way. I really hope that this is the case for the very near future.

Drew, I felt incredibly sorry for. He'd accidentally killed a 6 year old, through no fault of his own. An unpreventable accident - how devastating this must be. I've driven for 22 years and I've yet to enjoy it for exactly that reason, the fear of the damage a car can do in a moment of time. I can't imagine the enormous pressure and guilt (that most useless of emotions) Drew is under. He is coming to terms with it, so is his family and the people where they live. My heart ached for him.Then Charlie - brave and strong and hating seeing Drew on his own - spoke to Drew and changed the course of both their lives. 

A really great story, I would recommend this to romance lovers and YA fans.

A copy of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.
For more information see Goodreads.

Review: Turn the World Upside Down by Nyrae Dawn

They’d have to turn the whole world upside down to understand us…

Hunter Donovan’s temper never used to be a problem. He lived the perfect life with the perfect family before the dark truth came spilling out. Now his dad’s in prison, and after Hunter explodes at school, accidentally hitting a teacher, his mom has him committed.

Hunter doesn’t belong at Better Days. He needs to be stronger, not sent to a well-dressed loony bin. If he’d been better, less selfish, he would have realized something was going on under his own roof. No amount of psychoanalyzing and group therapy can change the past.

But among the bullies, fights, and bad cafeteria food, Hunter meets a group of friends: anxiety-ridden Casey, wild and exciting Rosie, recovering bulimic Bethany, and Stray, a self-harmer who doesn’t think he belongs anywhere. Around this group of misfits, Hunter doesn’t feel so alone and angry anymore.

Still, as he’s making friends and falling in love with Stray, the guilt is always there. If Hunter can’t open up and find a way to deal with what happened, he might fall victim to his mental illness—and he won’t be the only casualty.

Turn the World Upside Down is a great book reflecting the helplessness family members can feel at events beyond their control. Guilt is one of the most uniquely human emotions, and possibly the most useless one of all. Guilt does not and cannot change events that have happened. Guilt can't deal with pain or regret or sorrow. It serves very little purpose - especially as often the person feeling guilty has no reason to feel that way.

Hunter had no control over the events that cause him guilt, it is entirely misplaced. There is one person and pone person alone that was in the wrong and it wasn't him. He is a teenager and was being a teenager, it was not his responsibility to second guess everything his sister said and did. The helplessness he feels at a situation he couldn't stop, when his trust was abused, lead to him feeling a misplaced guilt, and this leads to outbreaks of violence. We see Hunter as he is in a facility receiving therapy to come to terms with what happened.

Nyrae Dawn doesn't sugar-coat Hunter or his feelings or his stay at Better Days. In fact all the residents and friendships that we see within this story are very real. Mental health is as important as physical health, and illnesses are just as critical. The added battle is that mental health is still often misunderstood and treated differently to physical illnesses. Nyrae Dawn catches the fragility of these illnesses.There is not a one cure for all approach, therapy is not a magic wand instantly healing the emotional pains the teens are dealing with. I think this is very valuable in this genre, life can be bloody hard at times and nobody should feel they have to have all the answers, that they have to be perfect at any, or every, given point in time. Especially teens who are dealing with the emotional upheaval of adolescence and puberty as it is.

I truly enjoyed this story, and the thoughtful and realistic way in which it was written. I know I'll be watching for more from this author and I really recommend this book.

A copy of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.

Find on Harmony Ink Press or Goodreads!

Review: Drifting Sands (The Warfield Hotel Mysteries) by C. J. Baty

As he approaches his fortieth birthday, Justin Warfield feels alone, drifting like the sand that blows along the beach near his family’s hotel. He has done exactly as his father wanted. Married the right girl and carried on the family tradition of running the Warfield Hotel. On paper things seem perfect, but happiness hasn’t been a part of his life for a very long time.

Marcus Drummond once spent a summer with his best friend Peter at the Warfield Hotel and fell hard for Peter’s much older brother. Five years later he’s back, and this time hopes that Justin will see him as more than his kid brother’s friend.

Sparks fly when the two meet again, but there are a few things standing in their way. The closet that Justin has himself buried in and someone on a killing spree, dumping bodies on the Warfield beach . . . victims that indicate Justin may be involved in some way. 

I have a confession to make. This book has been on my review TBR pile for a while. I started it and then put it down. Started again and once more put it to one side... it took me a while to get into... but I think this was definitely a me thing. Sometimes I have to be in the right mood for a certain type of book. When I picked this up a third time, I couldn't put it down. Honestly, I loved it and can't wait to read the next in the series.

The Warfield Hotel and general setting of this story is as much part of the cast as any other character. CJ Baty has written a wonderful murder mystery in this setting. The thing is... I'm not sure it's solved yet. Sure, there was a conclusion, it seems wrapped up, but I'm really not convinced. And I LOVE this. I want more - but not in that horrible cliffhanger way where I felt I've only been fed half a story in order to line an authors pocket (I know that's not how it works, but we've all read those books which really are only half a book, none of the story solved until the second instalment. It's made me hate cliffhangers!).

Justin is not perfect, he tries hard, but he makes mistakes. His father's influence over his life - even though he's long gone - made me frustrated. I could understand (some) of Justin's reasoning, he was trying to keep what he loved. His brother, the hotel - and TBH, his father sounds like a completely manipulative bastard. The thing is, I felt Caroline ended up as a victim. While she could be seen as a hateful character, I have to admit I felt more than a little sorry for her. 

I liked the dynamics between Marcus and Justin. I can't wait to see how it moves on between them. It wasn't a sweet romance - I wouldn't have believed it if it was. It was hot and cold and horny and subdued. Frustrating at times - and sometimes Justin annoyed me. Sometimes I wanted to shake him. Sometimes his decisions pissed me off no end. Then other times I felt so bad for him. I ached for him to have the easy settled - open - life he craved.

Marcus was unendingly patient, I felt. I'd like to know more about him. He's nobody's fool, smart and savvy, his attraction to Justin wasn't sickeningly sweet. It was real, and I wanted for him to get an HEA so much!

Before I go, I just want to mention Moses. Now he seems a really hateful character. One of those with absolutely nothing to like about him - and yet he intrigues me. I feel there's more if we just get to dig deeper - he's part of the reason I want book 2 so much. 

This book is well worth reading, I'm just sorry it took me so long to get into it. Like I said, I honestly believe this was me and not the story! Recommended.

A copy of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.

For more information see Goodreads.

Review: Love's Medicine by Ashley John

Justin White didn't expect to fall in love with his best friend, Sammie Cooper, but he couldn't stop himself. Since their teen years, they've been inseparable, but as each year passes, it becomes harder and harder for shy Justin to confess his true feelings to his charismatic and promiscuous best friend. Keeping secrets has become second nature to Justin, as his love for Sammie isn't the only thing he's concealing from the world. In the shadows of his home, his mother is slowly dying, and despite stealing painkillers from the hospital, there's nothing he can do to save her.

Sammie Cooper never thought his casual and sexual relationship with his boss at the nightclub would ever turn into anything serious, but when Finley offers him a briefcase stuffed with money to follow him to England, he doesn't know if he can resist the lure of the cold, hard cash. Sammie is faced with a decision that he never thought he'd have to make, and things only get more complicated when he makes a shocking discovery about Justin's life.

Can Justin start telling the truth to keep hold of the only man he'll ever love? Can Sammie turn down life changing money to risk it all on the unknown?

One is scared of love and the other is scared of commitment. Justin and Sammie thought they could make it through anything together, but their crumbling lives threaten to rip them apart. Both are faced with difficult decisions, but will they make the right ones? 

Ashley John is an author I look forward to reading now. The Surf Bay books are a series of, easy to read, devour in a sitting, stories. Each of the characters are unique, as is each love story. When I open up one of these books I know to a certain extent what I am going to get - but that is part of the charm. I know there will be one lovable MC with stuff going wrong in his life. I know there will be a 'bad boy' MC who we get to uncover and grow to love. I know there will be angst but ultimately an HEA/HFN. I like that I know this. I read different books for different reasons and depending on my mood at the time, and sometimes I just know I need to read this kind of book. Hard, but not brutal. I know I'll fall for the MC's along the way and wish them their happily ever after. 

So what is unique about each book? Well, though they follow a certain format they do all bring different characters to the table...or the town of Surf Bay and I really appreciate this. In this book Justin is the good guy making some super tough decisions. Hiding a secret from everyone, including his best friend Sammie, he is coping the best he can in a crappy situation. He's trying to keep himself together but is barely succeeding. On top of the personal issues he's dealing with the love of his life, best friend Sammie (friends to lovers - YAYAYAYAYA!!) has no idea how Justin feels about him, and Sammie's casual attitude to sex and his own self worth eat away at Justin more and more.

Sammie is getting himself in some hot water. Shagging his boss to keep him sweet and rolling in expensive gifts it seems that Sammie may suddenly be out of his depth. Caught between friendship and an uncertain future that may involve love, or a guaranteed 'high-life' rolling in riches, playboy to his boss, Sammie suddenly doesn't know which way to turn. He thought he knew what it was he wanted out of life but now he's questioning decisions he makes and then questioning them again.

It would be easy to write Sammie off as a bit of an arsehole - in truth he really can be, but I always got the feeling that he was more a confused little boy who really didn't know up-from-down. Yes, at times, his treatment of Justin SUCKED. He was a miserable BFF and the phrase 'who needs enemies...' sprung to mind. When I peeled beneath the surface though I think he was way more scared and unable to cope with life than Justin, however they would outwardly appear. He was screwed up and made screwed up decisions, but I think he started to learn from them and at the end of the day he made the right choices (eventually). Even if he did cut it fine.

Fans of this series will like this book and I would recommend Surf Bay for those looking for a comfort read, the population there is pretty cool!

A copy of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.

For more information, check out Goodreads.

Review: Complementary Colors by Adrienne Wilder

My sister Julia manipulated my life into a prison to keep me silent about our dirty family secret. Her greed made me a slave and circumstance left me with no way to escape.

Trapped, the only way I could silence the nightmares driving me to insanity was to wrap them in color, hold them with shadow, and stitch them to negative space with line.

But no matter how bright the pigments, no one could see my confession.

Except for Roy Callahan.

I thought he was just another nameless one-night stand in a long line of many.
But I was wrong. Roy could see past the façade of my life and through the veil color over the canvas. He could see what the world couldn’t.

And with him I’d find the courage to tell the truth about the boy.

The boy who kissed me.
The boy who loved me.
The boy whose name I couldn’t remember.

"What would life be like filled with simple moments like this? For time to be measured in heartbeats and exhales rather than seconds and minutes?"

This book. Oh my god, this book. I loved it. Hurt and angst and pain are books I read sparingly. Sometimes I can find books featuring disabilities or PTSD or mental health or abuse issues very manipulative. Manipulative in that parts of the story seem to there just for the sake of being there, to add trauma and not a natural part of the story - formulaic maybe. This book though was not at all like that, not one little bit. It was written with beauty, a beauty that shone through even the ugliest parts of the tale.

Paris is the MC and it is through his eyes that we see this story unfold. It's his emotions, actions and broken memories that we are witness to and I have to say I was so drawn into his story that when I fell asleep reading it at stupid o'clock, I found myself waking up an hour later and carrying on into the middle of the night. I felt every single bit of Paris - the parts he exposed and those he tried to hide.

Paris is an artist and I ADORED the way Adrienne Wilder used colours to explain his feelings, his emotions...or I should say, how Paris used the colours. His brain was so full of his half remembered childhood that there weren't always sufficient words to say how he felt...oft times he didn't know how he felt, it was all colour to him. The good times and the bad. Adrienne has a beautiful, descriptive way of writing - poetic really.

"Morning turned the kitchen into gold, and dust motes dance and twirled in the sunbeams. A door slammed somewhere, and a woman yelled. An infant cried for his mother. Then someone turned up their radio drowning out the sounds of urban poverty under a steady bass thump."

Along with the wonderfully broken MC, the author managed to create some vivid characters. Part of me felt almost shocked at how nasty and manipulative Julia was, not I think because she was female, but because she was his sister. Malignant from the inside out, she terrified me and I truly did not know how this story would end. Roy. The saviour really, I will always have a soft spot for Roy from now on. I Love characters that protect, characters whose love means more than their own life.

I think that really this story is a love story. It is the love between Roy and Paris but it is also Paris learning to love himself. It is not an easy book to read, you will be dragged down and up again and then back down. It will get you in its grasp and you won't be able to stop reading. You'll need to know just s little bit more, just a little bit more. I would totally recommend this book to everyone, though those who find abusive stories a trigger will want to avoid it. A fantastic book written with depth, feeling and understanding.

An arc of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.