Review: Dancing on the Head of a Pin by Kiernan Kelly

2nd Edition 

When a demon saves an angel’s life, he wins the chance to stay out of Hell and walk the earthly plane until the End of Days. 

Cael wasn’t aware of the loophole when he spared the angel Malak, but he plans to exploit it. All he needs to do to earn his freedom is convince Malak to give up his virginity. Three thousand years should be plenty of time. But Malak isn’t interested—not in having sex with Cael and not in being exiled from Heaven as a result. 

Time is running out, and if Cael fails, his punishment will be unspeakable. With only days left, Malak realizes he can’t let that happen—not to the demon he’s come to love. 

But the End of Days is coming sooner than either anticipated. Lucifer has found a way to unleash the Four Horseman and end all existence. If Cael and Malak want to stay together, they need to seek out all four Horsemen and stop them from bringing about the Apocalypse. 

First Edition published by Torquere Press, 2007.

A demon and an angel are saving the world. With puns.

Let me just state for the record I didn't hate this. It's cutesy and quite frankly if it were a movie I'm almost positive it would be one of those movies that I avoid talking about so I don't give away how much I secretly like it. Like Clash of the Titans or Underworld.

The plot is far-fetched from the very beginning when we meet Malak and Cael who have been thrown together through a weird biblical by-law for close to three millennia. If Cael doesn't pop Malak's cherry by the end of the third millennia he goes directly to hell to become the fucktoy of Asmodai. Asmodai is... not cute and supposedly smells like death and rotten eggs got married in the back of a non-air conditioned VW bus in the middle of a August in Texas and then spent their month long honeymoon in the back banging the hell out of each other. Without showering.


I guess close to three millennia is long enough for Malak to play keep away with his V-card, though so lucky Cael is lucky!

Except... dun dun duuuuuuaaahhhh


They decide to thwart the apocalypse by going after the four horsemen in between fucking. There was even some mid-air boning whilst flying. I'm still curious as to how Cael was able generate enough torque to get the job done, but it'll remain a mystery. Unfortunately.

These characters are one dimensional, cartoonish and have an unnerving propensity towards exclaiming. All these immortals who've been around since forever yet act like they're teens. Maybe immortals age differently? Even the love between Malak and Cael smacks of puppy love.

The writing style is one note with no depth and minimal world-building. There are some transparent, borderline preachy sociopolitical jibes usually at American greed and excess which maybe would've held more gravitas had the ones espousing them not been a bunch of jokers.


It's told from both Malak and Cael's perspective, but I couldn't tell the difference between them and neither left an impression. Still, I don't think the point of this book was to be taken seriously. Like I said, had this been a movie with CGI and elaborate costumes I, in all likelihood, would be marking the blu-ray release date on my calendar. But reading it knowing the endgame was a foregone conclusion there wasn't enough to entertain me or for me to invest in.

I would only recommend this to those seeking a mindless romp.

A review copy was provided.

Find out more on Goodreads & Dreamspinner Press.

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