Review: The Pirate Fairy by A.J. Llewellyn

Denny Derrick Dalton is the most feared pirate on the high seas, but he’s not a bad guy. He’s just having a very bad day…

It’s 1841 and the high seas are a dangerous place for anybody. Denny Derrick Dalton’s the most feared pirate in the choppy waters, but his risky reputation takes a hit when a wicked old witch curses him and gives him a pair of fairy wings. It’s hard to boss your crew around when you look ridiculous. Not only that, he has no idea how to fly.

Denny’s depressed. The witch, hiding as sweet Princess Fortunata, has left his ship and taken her brother, Prince Merritt, the man Derrick deeply loves, with her. Can his luck get any worse? Oh yes, it can. His crew mutinies and sells him to a slave ship.

But it’s not just any slave ship. This one’s bewitched, and Denny’s soon taken to a magical court where he must explain his rotten behavior and fight for his life.

But can he save himself to rescue Merritt, who’s at the mercy of his wicked sister’s magic?

Reader Advisory: This book features a BDSM scene
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When a book says it's about a pirate turned into a fairy and sold to a slave ship, I just know I'm in for a good time.

And I was. It was so much fun.

Denny Derrick Dalton is Captain of the La-Di-Da. He's the most feared pirate on the high seas but he's mostly just misunderstood. He's a really good guy, once you get to know him.

On trial for piracy, he'll have to defend his actions and convince the jury not to kill him, all the while learning how to use his newly acquired fairy wings, devise a way to find his long lost sister, and rescue the love of his life, Prince Merrick, from the evil witch that cursed him in the first place.

It's a very silly story that manages to balance a little bit of gravity with a whole lot of absurd, and just when you think you have it all figured out, think again.

If you're worried about it being a historical setting, don't. It doesn't feel historical in the slightest. It's historical light, with the feel of contemporary, and a huge amount of fantasy weaved throughout.

Every time I thought to myself that this read couldn't get any better - it did. (It reached stratosphere when the Kinbaku-bi scene came on page.)

I was a little over halfway through when I thought to myself, You know, the only thing that could make this better would be a dragon. Can you guess what showed up a few pages later? A sea dragon/creature/thing.

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There's a whole minefield of silly and awesomeness in this book, and I refuse to spoil any of it for you.

But there are a couple of things to keep in mind:

This is meant to be a silly, fun read. Don't think too deeply on the details. Like, when they tell you that a fairy is immortal, but that every alcoholic drink takes a year off their life. Try to keep from doing the math. What's infinity minus 200?

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And there's no doubt that Denny Derrick Dalton is in love with his Prince and desperate to be reunited with him. Sure, he's going to reminisce in great detail about experiences with someone in his past, and sure he's going to give really good head to that bumblebee guy over there, because he's gotta pay him back somehow, right? Denny LOVES sex. Even if you don't like to read about your MC getting it on with other people, go on this ride with Denny. Trust me, it'll be worth it.

This read was just all around good fun. I wanted a little more from the ending - there were bits and pieces left unresolved, but this wasn't exactly a deep story, so it doesn't really matter.

There's a man with a tail of a fox, centaurs, good witches, bad witches, self duplicating money, and a whole Island filled with things guaranteed to make you smile.

His beautiful ship surged forward toward the doomed vessels and he smiled widely until he glimpsed one of his crew running past him. As soon as the man became aware of Denny's scrutiny he gave a strange whimpering sound, clapped a hand over his badly swollen right ear and tiptoed backward away from Denny.

"What's he doing? And what happened to his ear?" Deny demanded of Rigby who sighed.

"You don't remember?"
"No. What am I supposed to remember?"
"You tried to have sex with his ear last night."
"I- What?"
"You heard. You broke into his bunk and tried sticking your cock in his ear. I had to thunk you over the head to get you to stop."


Are you smiling yet?

If you're in the mood for a fun afternoon read, this is the book for you.

Highly recommended.


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