I enjoy reading PWP.
I've read all types:
- the ones that get straight to the point - cock's out, time to start stuffing those hungry holes;
- the ones that try to tease - a hint of sexy, then story and then a big sloppy finish;
- the ones that try to impress you with the author's thesaurus skills - nothing says sexy like a thick toothsome tumescent protrusion;
- the ones that are weird - *coughs*Dr. Chuck Tingle*coughs*;
- the ones that are just bad from jump...
For me, "Pup Love" by Kenn Dahll just was a miss, from the first page.
It's not the kinks written that irks me (okay, maybe the BDSM practiced was off for me), it's the writing style.
"His armpits promise olfactory sensations beyond belief as the strains of his workout manifest in droplets of perspiration most certainly perfumed with his masculine pheromones"or
"Fuck, one of his burgundy tits is poking through a tear in the wet material! I can barely concentrate on my spotting responsibilities. My rigid prick aches to peek out of its confinement in my jockstrap's mesh--the angry-red tip, protruding from its crinkly snout, reaches into the wide elastic waistband."Really? Cocks and snouts?
Pup Love is a PWP that is stuffed with sex scenes. And I'm sure there are readers out there who can find this erotic. Any muscle porn lovers out there? Or puppy play fans? *waves hands* Readers who don't mind erotic stories that feature open relationships? I thought that was the best thing about the book. The couple was fully upfront about their extracurricular activities.
This story fell flat in just about all the other departments for me. Granted, doms written like Dave who yell and speak in exclamation points turn me the hell off, so I wasn't going to like him. He's an example of a bad dom to me. And Brett wasn't any better as his sub. The story is written from Brett's POV in first person.
"I'm gonna fuck your ass. You better make it tight. I don't like loose fucks." I don't do fifty Kegel clenches daily to be a loose fuck. Focusing on my sphincter, I contract my anus and hold it clenched against the onslaught of his indomitable bludgeon.Brett is a "power bottom" who serves his Master/dom Dave. They have an open relationship. He goes on a business trip and fucks the help staff, finally getting a chance to top. And this makes him more dominant. *yawn* As you can see, Brett tries to impress with his synonym skills.
Using both palms, I spread his butt cheeks until I see the rubicund beige center into which I deliver a glob of spittle.Mmmhmm...that "rubicund beige center" got a pounding. But the way the person who it's attached to was written pissed me off a little. Pedro, the Mexican waiter, who couldn't speak the best English but somehow got it right while being sexed and went back to not speaking good English in conversation. Something was off about the way the Latino characters were written. But then again, they weren't written to be people, more as sex toys.
And once Brett declared,
"Take it amigo! Take my whole fucking cock up your ass. Shit! Damn! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I'm filling your hole with my gringo salsa!"I was over it.
Didn't care about the threesomes. Didn't care about the main character. Didn't care about the kink.
Didn't.
Care.
For stroke fic, it's not sexy. If there was a point, I missed it. You can tell me PWP doesn't need a point, but I've read better fuck scenes without the thesaurus thrown in shorter amount of words.
It could have been sliced in half (lengthwise), lose the unnecessary business trip and just portray Brett discovering his dominant side with the "Nebraska twink". I'm all for interracial PWP, but the awkward word choice, flat characters and not sexy sex...it makes all the story's missteps stand out.
Unless this was the intention for the entire story, to be a satire of bad porn? Or the reader is supposed to laugh instead of cum? Then, this got the job done in spades!
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