Anniversary Shenanigans: Author Visit & Giveaway - Lisa Henry






Visiting today to help us celebrate is the industrious and highly accommodating Lisa Henry! We kinda last minuted her and she still came through. Like a champ!







Stupid Hot
by
Lisa Henry 



Fuck Jay Porter. Seriously fuck him.
(Calvin wishes.)
He’s just this…ugh. This arrogant fucking asshole who won the genetic lottery and walks around with a smug grin on his stupid hot face every single day because of it. Calvin is probably going to have to drown himself in the resort pool before the end of the shift to put himself out of his misery.
Because six hours of sitting beside Jay Porter every day, watching him slathering sunscreen on his glorious fucking abs, is torture, okay? It’s torture, and torture is against the Geneva Convention or something. And what’s even worse torture is watching pretty much every single resort guest between the ages of fifteen and ninety-seven shamelessly flirt with Jay while he just laps the attention up like a lazy fucking cat. A hot, glistening, coconut-oil scented cat.
No, wait, ugh. That analogy doesn’t work at all.
The heat has fried Calvin’s brain. Either that, or all the blood that should be operating stuff up there has migrated south to his dick ever since he laid eyes on Jay.
This is going to be the longest summer of Calvin’s life.
It’s not just Jay’s hot-as-fuck abs, okay? Calvin isn’t that shallow. Well, okay, he totally is, because it’s also Jay’s hot-as-fuck tattoos, and those hot-as-fuck yellow and white striped Speedos. Calvin wants to lick his tattoos. And what’s underneath those Speedos.
Longest. Summer. Ever.
Calvin glares at the pool and counts down the minutes until their shift ends. Beside him, Jay is effortlessly chatting with some girl in a bikini. Some stupid hot girl. Seriously, her and Jay should run away together and have stupid hot babies.
The girl even bought him a Popsicle. Because he looked hot.
Calvin is pretty damn sure that if he tried a line that cheesy, he’d shrivel up and die of shame. But of course this girl pulled it off.
(Not the only thing she’s looking to pull off in this scenario.)
Oh. Oh, and now she’s inviting him to a beachfront party tonight. Of course she is. Standing there with her hip jutting out, twisting a length of her perfect platinum hair on her finger.
Ugh.
God. Isn’t it time someone started to drown so Calvin could actually get away from this torture? Calvin’s suddenly so struck with worrying about the horrible person he’s become for wishing near-death on a stranger that he almost misses Jay’s response to the girl.
“No, thanks. You’re really nice, but I’m not looking to hook up. I’m gay.”
Excuse me?
Ex-fucking-scuse me?
The girl retreats with a smile and a shrug, leaving Calvin staring at Jay.
“What?” Jay licks his Popsicle. “You didn’t know?”
A drop of sweat slides down the back of Calvin’s neck.
“Dude,” Jay says, his tongue sliding over his bottom lip. “I’ve been flirting with you for weeks.”
What?
“Um, no,” Calvin says, scowling at him. “You’ve been flirting with everyone else in the world for weeks.”
Jay cocks an eyebrow, and Calvin wants to punch him in his stupid hot face. “Are you always this oblivious? I mean, we can pretend nothing happened, or when our shift’s over I can blow you in the locker room. Your call.”
Calvin gapes at him, and wonders if hallucinations are a symptom of heat stroke.
Jay grins at him and offers him his Popsicle.
Calvin takes it, and bites the top off, and feels a burst of courage. “I would very much like to go with the second option.”
“Cool,” Jay says, and licks his lips again.
Calvin tears his gaze away from Jay with difficulty and watches the pool again.
This is going to be the Best. Summer. Ever.  

I, personally, want to thank Lisa for this fic. Many of you knew Loki who unexpectedly died earlier this year. Loki was a lover of hotness and an all around incredible person. The inspirational pic for this fic was one she left on my wall and Lisa just happened to choose it out of the bundle I sent her. I think Loki would be tickled with the results. Be sure to let Lisa know your thoughts in the comments!

Author Bio:

Lisa likes to tell stories, mostly with hot guys and happily ever afters.

Lisa lives in tropical North Queensland, Australia. She doesn't know why, because she hates the heat, but she suspects she's too lazy to move. She spends half her time slaving away as a government minion, and the other half plotting her escape.

She attended university at sixteen, not because she was a child prodigy or anything, but because of a mix-up between international school systems early in life. She studied History and English, neither of them very thoroughly. 

She shares her house with too many cats, a green tree frog that swims in the toilet, and as many possums as can break in every night. This is not how she imagined life as a grown-up.




To enter to win an ebook of your choice from Lisa's backlist, please leave a comment with some means of contacting you (e.g. email, Twitter handle, link to Goodreads account, etc.)

The giveaway is open until 10 PM PST November 28, 2015. Shortly thereafter, we will contact a winner whom we will select using a highly scientific "names in a hat" method (or, you know, an internet randomizer). Please respond to the winning notification within 48 hrs or we will choose another winner.

26 comments:

  1. Loki would definitely have loved this!

    Thanks Lisa for this hotness!!!!

    tamikamclaurin@hotmail.com

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  2. Poor Calvin! He was so busy suffering so much watching Jay flirt with everyone that he missed what was going on... Fortunately, he'll get his reward... I wish I could see what happens in the locker room...
    Thank you for this great short

    susanaperez7140(at)gmail(dot)com

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  3. "we can pretend nothing happened, or when our shift’s over I can blow you in the locker room. Your call." Best. Line. Ever. I'm a huge Lisa Henry fan. Seriously, I've enjoyed everything of hers I've ever read. Thanks for participating! legacylandlisa@gmail.com

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  4. Loved this! Cute, funny and a nice blast of Summer as Winter descends on us. Lisa Henry never disappoints.

    jen(dot)f(at)mac(dot)com

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  5. Feeling the heat now! Thanks Lisa

    Littlesuze at hotmail.com

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  6. Loved the story :)
    annmarief115 at gmail dot com

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  7. Great story! Thanks so much for sharing.

    waxapplelover (at) gmail (dot) com

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  8. I have too many cats as well. Most are not mine but my kids. Looking forward to reading this one. It looks exciting.
    debby236 at gmail dot com

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  9. Really enjoyed the story!
    aegger.echo(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  10. Way to make it hotter here in Australia Lisa. But good hot not icky hot.

    maymawilson(at)gmail(dot)com

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  11. Angela:

    Loved it. Thanks for sharing the fic Stupid Hot with us :)

    ahpg(at)ziggo(dot)nl

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  12. Thanks for reading, everyone! And thanks BMB for the hot prompt picture.

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  13. I realy loved the story it was very entertaining, just as everything LisaHenry writes.



    ticuv@yahoo.com

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  14. Love the story. Lisa is one of my fav authors.


    agalegogen(at)gmail(dot)com

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  15. Another great flash fic! Thank you so much for sharing it and the giveaway! jczlapin@gmail.com

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  16. I enjoyed this little story, thanks so much!

    @thawkins66 on Twitter

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  17. Love your writing Lisa Henry!

    dena.jones13 at yahoo dot com

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  18. Thanks for the cute story and chance to win a book.

    lgrant1@san.rr.com

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  19. Loved this story! Thanks for sharing and for the giveaway!
    Toni violet817(at)aol(dot)com

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  20. I can literally not stop staring at that picture. God damn.

    And I love the attitude of the story. It made me smile right away.

    https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4489698-samantha

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  21. I think Calvin is in for some serious trouble with Jay. He sounds like a handful...:D

    @MiMiRLong

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  22. LMAO. This story was so awesome. I love everything Lisa writes!

    https://www.facebook.com/meg.bawden

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  23. That was great!!! I'm a huge fan of Lisa's writing. :)
    lkbherring64(at)gmail(dot)com

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  24. This giveaway is officially closed. Congrats go to Alaina!

    There are plenty of open & planned giveaways for the rest of the month!

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