Review: Handsome Men Blow (Handsome Heroes #4) by James Cox

Horns, tail and rainbow cum...

What happens when a thief, posing as a king, gets his own harem? Malvern is a fake king, just trying to survive long enough for a ship to whisk him away to another planet. He never expects to get a ragtag harem of near rejects. One is a human that volunteered, that guy makes Malvern long for domination. Then there’s the redhead with scars on his back, red eyes and oh yeah, his cum glows in the dark. The last man in this messed up harem is in chains because he’s too violent.

When a wicked storm hits he’s forced to make a hard decision, stick with his own survival or save their lives. He also has limited time to make that choice because the real king is on his way to claim the throne.

How the hell is this going to end well?

Oh Malvern, you fascinating and incredibly horny scoundrel you. And he is a scoundrel in the truest sense of the word and he owns the descriptor with pride. He lies, cheats and steals to survive but he does it with such style I couldn’t help but be charmed by him. We met him briefly in Handsome Men Suck (remember Kendrew’s big fall from grace?) and in Handsome Men Blow we get all of Malvern along with his horns, his tail and his rainbow cum. How can you not be intrigued by his description alone?

Malvern is what I like to think of as a “good bad guy”. I mean, he does bad shit, he’s selfish and narcissistic. But, when you get into his head you see he’s really not the asshole he presents to the world. He’s alone, he’s lost everything and now he just gets by the only way he knows how, conning and charming his way through the galaxy. So, Malvern gets into some shenanigans and hijinks and before you know it, he’s got himself a merry band of misfits, his very own harem. Oh, and they think he is their new king because, shenanigans. Malvern can totally get behind this plan and would be enjoying it a hell of a lot more if he didn’t have to plan his escape at the same time. He’s a scoundrel but he’s not stupid, he knows the real king is going to be gunning for him and he needs to tuck tail (literally) and be long gone before that happens.

But, he doesn’t expect to enjoy his harem as much as he is. He’s got three men who couldn’t be more different at his beck and call and the idea is pretty intriguing. Malvern isn’t that kind of scoundrel though. He sees these guys for the pained misfits that they are. He knows because he’s one of them more than he’s a king. Instead of forcing anyone to do anything, he actually gets to just be himself (except for the whole lying about being a king thing) and these guys are slowly drawn to him and him to them. He’s got Shay, the shy human who volunteered to become a slave to save his family. Malvern has a serious soft spot for Shay. Then there is Norcon, the red eyed, red haired slave with the scars and the secrets and finally, Rykna, the “crazy, scary bastard” who has to be kept in chains and is a total angry mystery. Oh yeah, Norcon’s cum glows in the dark and Rykna’s cum turns into snow. Throw that in with Malvern’s rainbow cum and you have got yourself the setting for one hell of a harem after party cleanup. And a pretty awesome visual!

In the short time that Malvern has been king he discovers he’s actually pretty damn good at it. He’s fair, he’s kind and he puts his people first. Not something you may necessarily expect from the character in the beginning but his realization that he’s a good guy after all, given the opportunity, is completely natural and was fun to read. It’s like once he starts doing the right thing, he can’t stop, he’s always wanted to be this guy and finally has the chance.

When a natural disaster strikes Malvern is put to the true test, escape while he can or stay and save his harem and his people? The excitement that comes next was a total fantasy adventure that was fun to read. The celebration after that was even better. Malvern is really good at multi purposing his tail. It’s not just another pretty appendage and it’s not just a weapon. It’s a hell of a sex toy too and I’m in awe of its many uses.

A happy ending was had by most and I really hope to get more Rykna in the coming stories. That crazy bastard has a story to tell and I want to know it. One of the things I really like about James’ characters is that they are total cocky badasses on the outside and then when you get to spend some time in their heads you get to appreciate the real feelings and fears they have and they are just big softies covered in swagger. My favorite kind of hero.

Malvern, Malvern, Malvern. How I love your cocky ways. This guy seriously pretended to be king with his own harem and totally pulled it off. I think this is my favorite of THE COX (<- yes, he gets all caps) and that's mostly because I loved all the awesomeness that Malvern had to offer. Beneath his badass-all-about-me exterior he really has a good heart. Pretending to be king was the best thing he could have done for himself! And he just slipped right on into that role, flawlessly. It was priceless, I tell ya! He had a slight WTF moment, but he mostly went with it right from the get go. And it cracked me up.

I must talk about Shay. Shay is one of the men in his harem and he is the sweetest little thing. *pets Shay* Yes, he's such a sweet and naughty boy. I loved that he brought the selfish, hardass Malvern to his knees! Literally and figuratively. I love the macho guy turning into melting goo and Shay pretty much did that to Malvern.

Of course, the sex was off the charts. Like, duh. There was a harem with lots of dicks and so many different variations of cum that there should be a COX encyclopedia with all the things. All the different aliens is probably my favoritest part of this series. What will he think up next? It's always fun and surprising!

I really enjoyed this. Beneath all the rainbow cum and tails, it really was very sweet. I especially liked the townspeople and their reaction to their king. It's a surprisingly heartwarming erotic story.

Read more about Handsome Men Blowing over at Goodreads :D

No comments:

Post a Comment