Author Visit: Alexa Land Swings by to talk Skye Blue, BFC's and Mafia Grannies!

To steal a line from fellow Unicorn Jenni Lea:

These books have crack in them!

Yep, Alexa Land's books have crack in them and I is a junkie for them. Well today we are lucky enough to have the lovely Alexa visit and give us a sneak peek of Skye Blue, an irresistible Big Fucking Cock and everyone's favorite Mafia Granny, NANA!

Let's all give a big Unicornian welcome to ALEXA LAND!!!!

*flailing Kermit arms!!!*

Hi Ann, thanks for letting me visit you on Boy Meets Boy Reviews and be a shameless promotion whore! Have I mentioned in the last second and a half that my new book, Skye Blue, is coming out August 1st? Don’t worry, I’ll mention that about fifty more times before we’re done here!

Ann butting in here - look at the pretttyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! - Ann out :D

While I’m shamelessly self-promoting, I’ll go ahead and point out that it’s the sixth book in my Firsts and Forever series. In it, twenty-one year-old art student Skye has decided it’s high time to punch his V-card, but he’s in for so much more than he bargained for! Several characters are back in this book, including Trevor from Salvation and of course Nana. When free-spirited Skye and 80-year-old Mafia granny Nana get together, look out!

I recently let a couple sneak peeks slip for my readers, including a scene where Nana and Skye go dumpster diving to find raw materials for his sculptures. Check it out!

In a second sneak peek, I introduced a cocktail that immediately became not only Skye’s favorite, but that got my readers all abuzz. It’s called the Big Fucking Cock, or BFC for short. And if there’s one thing my readers love, it’s a BFC. I mean, who doesn’t, really? Here’s the link, so you too can enjoy some BFC for yourself.

After my readers got their first taste of BFC, they wanted more! To try to quench their desire for BFC, I hosted a contest on my Facebook page. People from all around the globe were showing me their BFCs. A few BFCs were even slipped in at the last minute.

All of this got no complaints from me, lemme tell ya! Here’s the winning recipe, concocted by Morgan Guthas in Alabama. The girl totally worked that BFC! She told me she had to sample many, many BFCs until she finally found the perfect one. I was envious. If you feel you’d enjoy a good stiff one, you can’t go wrong with this huge, pink bad boy:

The BFC
12 oz. frozen lemonade
12 oz. Kinky liqueur (turns out that’s a real thing!)
2 oz. vodka
Splash of lemon-lime soda
Add Ice



Serve in a big-ass margarita glass with as many garnishes as you can possibly cram in there! You might think it can’t possibly all fit, but cram it in anyway. You’ll be glad you did!

Oh wait, it’s been a couple minutes now and I’ve failed to pimp my book! Skye Blue! August 1st! Amazon! All that talk about BFC almost made me forget my mission of being a bigtime promotion whore! BFCs are like that. Really distracting.

You know who’d enjoy a BFC? Nana. Here, for the first time anywhere, is a little bonus scene of exactly that. Skye’s visiting Nana on the set of her cable TV cooking show:

*****

I squinted at the crew on the other side of the glaring lights, then tried not to look like a total cheeseball as I smiled at the camera. I’d never intentionally been on television before. Sure, there’d been that news footage of me go-go dancing beside a giant phallus as both it and I stuck out the sunroof of the Bonermobile, but this was way different.

Nana seemed right at home in front of the camera, though. They’d started filming a couple minutes ago, and she was off on some tangent about Pasta Puttanesca. It was news to me that translated from Italian, it meant ‘pasta a la whore.’ This show was quite educational, actually.

I was pretty sure she’d forgotten I was standing beside her until she whirled on me suddenly and said, “So, Skye, you were going to tell us about your Big Fucking Cock.”

“I – wait, what?”

“That cocktail you like so much! The one you got at that cafe. We won’t say where it’s from, on account of we’re going to try to copy their recipe and maybe they would take offense to that. But I take offense at the fact that they charge twenty-five bucks for one drink!”

“It’s a big drink, though.”

“I know it’s big! That’s right there in the title! What, you think I wasn’t paying attention? Now look here.” She shoved her huge, round glasses on her face and gestured at the dozens of bottles of liquor cluttering the counter in front of us. “This is what we got to work with. I went down to this cafe and I ordered me one of these Big Fucking Cocks just so I could get a taste of it. I have an idea what we’re shooting for, so now all we gotta do is recreate it!”

“Okay.”

Nana hoisted an absolutely huge glass up onto the countertop. This thing could have served as an aquarium for a manatee. She then picked up a bottle of vodka and poured about half of it into the glass. “I figure everything’s better with vodka, so let’s start there. What do you think we should do next?”

“I’m not sure, but it needs to be fruity.”

She tossed a couple strawberries into the glass. They floated to the surface. “Fruity. Check! What’s this stuff?” She pulled the top off a square bottle and took a big swig. “I don’t know what it is, but I like it.” Nana poured half of that bottle into the glass, too. I couldn’t see the label, but I was pretty sure it was tequila.

“We need to turn it pink somehow,” I reminded her. She looked around the counter before picking up a bottle of grenadine and adding about a teaspoon to her concoction.

Next she grabbed some sort of liqueur and took another big swig, then smacked her lips together a few times before saying, “Nah.” She sampled three more bottles, and as she was doing this, she picked up the bottle of vodka with her free hand and poured the rest of it into the glass.

She paused to assess her creation for a moment, then randomly grabbed two bottles off the counter and filled the glass almost to the rim. After that, she added another tiny dash of grenadine. “I gotta be honest,” she said. “I usually let other people do the bartending. This looks pretty good, though. All we gotta do is doll it up like they do at that cafe.” She drove a pineapple wedge onto the rim of the glass, then tossed in a handful of plastic monkeys. They bobbed to the surface like shipwreck survivors.

“Festive,” I said with a grin. By now, I’d all but forgotten the camera was rolling. I was just having fun watching Nana concoct.

“Oh, I’m not done. I know this drink is all about the sexy bits. I gotta tell you though, I looked everywhere for a straw that looked like a big weenie dongle, and I couldn’t find one. So I figured I needed to improvise. I’m good at that. I bought us some regular straws,” she dropped a couple into the glass, “and this.” She pulled a big, pink, far too realistic-looking dildo out from under the counter and plunked it into the drink.

I burst out laughing as her director, who’d been remarkably stoic throughout all of this, finally threw his hands up and yelled, “Oh for the love of God, cut!”

*****

For more Skye, BFC, and crazy mafia grannies, look for Skye Blue, available on Amazon August 1st! What, you thought I wasn’t going to work one more shameless self-promotion in there?

In case you haven’t gotten your fill of BFC, or if you’re hoping for even more gratuitous self-promotion, find me on the internet!
On facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008216261875
On twitter: @AlexaLandWrites
On my blog: http://alexalandwrites.blogspot.com/