Review: Splinters of the Heart by Alyssa Rabil

Love finds a way.

Aaron Beaumont is a mess. Life has never been easy, so why did he think bondage would help? While he solved the problem of making some quick money, it came at a price he wasn’t willing to pay. To his great relief, he’s rescued by Silas Anderson. Silas, a doctor, takes him home and treats his physical injuries, but his gentle touch and reassurance can’t touch Aaron’s internal turmoil.

When Aaron tries to return home the next morning, the worst has come to pass. He suddenly finds himself with nowhere to go. Once again, his world collides with Silas’.

With the future uncertain, a friendship blossoms into something neither Aaron nor Silas has experienced before, and they know it’s something they may never experience again.

However, happiness is just out of reach, and before they have a happily ever after, they must face a demon from the past.

Reader advisory: This book contains scenes of verbal and physical abuse, consensual pain, parental abuse, drug use, homophobic language, mentions of anxiety, suicide and drug dealing.

DNF 

Oh how I wanted to love this one. 

Splinters of the Heart is a debut novel from new to me author Alyssa Rabil. The premise was promising: two damaged men who find each other in an unexpected place but somehow strike up a romance. It screamed hurt/comfort goodness.

And to me, this debut novel read like a... first time novel. In the first chapter, the reader gets mentions of abuse, first time gay experiences, internalized homophobia, alludes to familial abuse, bondage, a  sketchy porn 'company', gun violence, attempted assault, BDSM practices and a white -knight-of-a-doctor/ veteran-that-just-so-happens-to-work-as-a-porn-actor that comes to the rescue.

An entire kitchen sink with dishes in the first chapter. It read so unbelievable and too much that I couldn't buy either character. The shoot out was like the second to last nail in the coffin. But the stitled dialogue was it for me.

I usually try to five a book that doesn't work for me a breather and will retry. But it was more ridiculous one the second go round. So rather than suffering, I tapped out.

If you're a reader who likes any or all of the topics I mentioned, maybe try it out. It could be a me thing but I found the beginning too saturated to carry the plot along. *shrugs*

Review: Master of Restless Shadows (Master of Restless Shadows #1) by Ginn Hale

Freshly graduated Master Physician Narsi Lif-Tahm has left his home in Anacleto and journeyed to the imposing royal capital of Cieloalta intent upon keeping the youthful oath he made to a troubled writer. But in the decade since Narsi gave his pledge, Atreau Vediya has grown from an anonymous delinquent to a man renowned for penning bawdy operas and engaging in scandalous affairs.

What Narsi―and most of the larger world―cannot know is the secret role Atreau plays as spymaster for the Duke of Rauma.

After the Cadeleonian royal bishop launches an unprovoked attack against the witches in neighboring Labara, Atreau will require every resource he can lay his hands upon to avert a war. A physician is exactly what he needs. But with a relentless assassin hunting the city and ancient magic waking, Atreau fears that his actions could cost more than his own honor. The price of peace could be his friends’ lives.

I'm blaming this on 2020. Many things have been challenging for me this year. Reading has been hit or miss but this is Ginn Hale.

GINN-EFFING-HALE! 

Author of the greatest series to ever series: The Rifter.

But try as I might I could not get into this. I loved the White Hell books and even the Wolf books and with this new series being set in the same world I figured this would be a slam dunk.

Surely, it's me I thought. So I put it down and tried again later.

Rinse and repeat.

I halfway blame myself for not having the wherewithal to soldier on and push through but... nay. I'm blaming 2020.

My apologies to the great Ginn Hale. I won't let this diminish my fangirling of her other books nor will it give me pause whenever she releases something else.

Obviously, YMMV. I sincerely hope it does, actually.

A copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.

Review: Crossing the Touchline (Auckland Med. #2) by Jay Hogan

What if you’ve worked your whole life for a dream, to play rugby for the most successful sports team on the planet, the New Zealand All Blacks?

What if that dream is so close you can smell it?

What if you meet someone?

What if you fall in love?

What if your dream will cost the man who’s stolen your heart?

And what if the dream changes?

Reuben Taylor has a choice to make.

Cameron Wano is that choice.

DNF

My grandmother has a saying when she's unsure about a new recipe: "it has good stuff in it"! ™

This book has good stuff in it including an athlete who's built like a brick shithouse and a femme and self-proclaimed sassy guyliner wearing love interest. Plus, they're really into each other which has its appeal. There's a slight age difference too!

That's size difference, age difference, femme guy, closeted athlete in a sports romance for the folks keeping track at home, all of which are my kryptonite. So this, by all rights, should've been a feast. But sometimes you can have the creme de la creme of ingredients and it still doesn't turn out like you want it to.

Unfortunately, Crossing the Touchline rapidly deflated like a soufflé for me.

I wanted to like it. Heck, I wanted to LOVE it.

But some things made that challenging and I know myself well enough to know that if I continue I'll nitpick this thing until it looks in the neighborhood of this:

No one needs that, ammiright?

However, I will list some of the things that bothered me in no particular order:

The internal dialogues of both Cam and Reuben, both of which I found grating.
The dearth of emotional maturity on both of their parts.
They sound, and even to a certain extent, think almost exactly the same.
The squirreling.
The info dumps.
Cam's "sassy" comes across as more dickish.
There was this pervasive sense that this story was trying too hard which made it feel clunky and stilted.

Perhaps things improve as the story evolves but, like I said, I've no wish to pick this thing apart on the off-chance it doesn't nor do I wish to negatively review a new author.

Obviously, my opinions are my own and YMMV.

An ARC was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.

Review: The Fourth Courier by Timothy Jay Smith

A Fast Paced Espionage Thriller for Alan Furst Fans Set In Post-Cold War Poland.

It is 1992 in Warsaw, Poland, and the communist era has just ended. A series of grisly murders suddenly becomes an international case when it's feared that the victims may have been couriers smuggling nuclear material out of the defunct Soviet Union. The FBI sends an agent to help with the investigation. When he learns that a Russian physicist who designed a portable atomic bomb has disappeared, the race is on to find him—and the bomb—before it ends up in the wrong hands.

Smith’s depiction of post-cold war Poland is gloomily atmospheric and murky in a world where nothing is quite as it seems. Suspenseful, thrilling, and smart, The Fourth Courier brings together a straight white FBI agent and gay black CIA officer as they team up to uncover a gruesome plot involving murder, radioactive contraband, narcissistic government leaders, and unconscionable greed.

DNF - 49%

Part of it was me and part of it was the writing style. All of it was 100% disappointing because I love suspense thrillers and was virtually bouncing up and down to read this. To be fair, Smith clearly knows Poland and that shows in the writing.

What I had anticipated was a good, juicy thriller that I could sink my teeth into but this is more focused on creating an atmosphere rather than the investigative aspects of the genre that I enjoy. I found the pacing glacial, so I threw the towel in, something I strive to avoid with ARCs but I just don't care how this ends. Additionally, the head hopping was too much for me. Dr. Ustinov was particularly grating with his endless "Ha!"ing.

Jay is an FBI agent sent to assist the Polish police/government in its investigation of a series of murders, one of whom was found with radioactive residue on his hands. Up to this point, Jay has made exactly one trip to Polish police headquarters and two to his own when I threw the towel in at nearly half way! 

Jay seems far more interested in hooking up with Lilka than finding a killer. How are you going to help solve a series of murders whilst enjoying Madame Butterfly or getting blotto with Lilka's family? Doesn't seem like an efficient use of one's time to me. And as long as I'm touching on the sex, all of it made me low-grade uncomfortable either because of the casual misogyny tossed around by multiple characters or the awkwardness of the act itself or simply the crassness with which it is discussed. None of it's explicit but it still somehow felt gratuitous. Perhaps it's in an effort to fully realize these characters but it backfired for me and made me dislike them.

There also seems to be an underlying bigotry against Russians which I understand given the time period but I can't shake the feeling that it could've been finessed better.

There are gay characters sprinkled throughout the narrative which is how it was marketed to the blog but I will say the one that's mentioned in the blurb has, thus far, introduced himself as the Acting Regional Security Officer which translates to him being a CIA operative. Great! At their second meeting, in 1992 post Cold War Poland, which is still mostly communist, he casually outs himself to Jay. I'm not saying it couldn't happen but... really? Really? '92 is still tail end of the AIDS epidemic and you're right next door to mother Russia who are still surveilling everything AND why out yourself to some random? I mean, good for him for owning it but... *side eyes* #weirdness

However, reviews thus far are mostly positive so I clearly read it wrong. Not recommended but my opinions are my own and YMMV.

An ARC was provided by Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.

Review: Midnight Musicals and Coffee Ice Cream by Layla Dorine

Takashi never imagined that a simple call to an escort service would result in meeting Zander. What started out as a date to the winter gala at his office, morphed into a series of paid dates that offer him several unique opportunities to get to know the handsome, enigmatic escort.

Zander hates feeling like an ornament. After four years he’s ready for a new occupation. Unfortunately, he isn’t skilled enough for any job that would pay him the money he needs to make to support himself and his family. So, he stays with Mateo’s agency and keeps on taking clients, refusing to call them dates because that’s too personal.
Until Takashi.

Now their both trying to make the best of the brief moments they have together, blurring the lines more and more with every passing night. Takashi wants more, Zander wants to give it to him, but only after he gets the rest of his life worked out. Only problem is, he has no idea how.

 DNF - 25%

I really wanted to love this story, as the blurb grabbed my attention, but unfortunately this didn't work for me. It is a slow burn, and generally I’m okay with that but for some reason I had trouble engaging with the story and I didn’t really get to that part.

Takashi’s disinterest in relationships in the beginning kind of set the tone for me for the part of the story I read. Even though he was very interested in Corban, I couldn’t seem to shake his overall ennui which manifested in how I read the pages.

I was also not keen on the edge of judgement for sex workers in what I read, and this further set my mood while reading. I respect that Corban had his own way of making money, but there were a lot of veiled jabs at sex work from both characters and it came across poorly.

I did try to pick it up again a few more times, thinking fresh eyes and a clear mind would help, but I must admit defeat with this one and walk away.

I thoroughly enjoyed Layla Dorine’s book Guitars and Cages so I will definitely pick up more from this author. Unfortunately this just missed the mark for me.

I recommend checking out other reviews to determine if this is something you would enjoy.

A review copy was provided for an honest opinion.

Review: The Story of Us by Barbara Elsborg

Two boys. One love. Ten summers.

Are you okay?

The first words Zed says to Caspian, and the first time someone has cared about the answer. On a hot summer’s day, the lives of two boys are changed forever. A rebel and a risk taker, Caspian doesn’t give a damn for the consequences. Studious and obedient, Zed is the good boy who is never good enough.

The two couldn’t be more different, but there’s one thing they share, a need to belong to someone who understands them, someone who cares. Their friendship goes deeper than either can possibly imagine. They’re young, in love, and planning their future when an act of betrayal tears them apart.

Fate deals its hand. Seasons pass. Zed’s words follow Caspian through pain, fear and into the darkest of places. Friendships can last a lifetime, even when the world conspires to crush them. But this is more than friendship. This is love and they’re not going to let it slip through their fingers.

Warning
The Story of Us is a tale of love and survival, and the triumph of good over evil against the odds. It's a new adult contemporary romance that deals with family and social issues. There is violence and cruelty to children but not sexual assault. The story has sexual situations, dark elements and suspense. The events and locations are a mixture of real and fictional. The characters are fictional.

DNF

If I could use one word to describe this book up until the point I read it, it would be ‘overkill.’

I’ve read many angst-filled books. The ones I have enjoyed the most, and the ones that have made their way on to my favourites shelf, have been those that flowed naturally.

It’s those ones that tugged at my heartstrings, and made me root for the MCs to get their happy ever after, making the heartbreak and pain worth it.

In ‘The Story of Us,’ one unrealistic scenario after another is thrown at Zed and Caspian. I found I didn’t care about whether the boys found their happy ending with each new dramatic turn.

I decided to call it quits when I rolled my eyes at what was supposed to be a pivotal moment between the MCs, in the midst of yet another crisis.

Also, an observation: there are quite a few Muslim secondary characters in this book, yet not a single one of them was redeemable. I’m a gay man with Muslim friends who grew up in Toronto, a city with a sizeable population of Muslims. My experiences just don’t mesh with the author’s portrayal, though perhaps her experiences have been different.

Again, I think it was a case of overkill.

I decided to put this book down because I just didn’t care enough about the MCs to look past the over-dramatization.

But I’m clearly in the minority, so I might be missing something. Your mileage may vary.

Review: Lone Wolf by Anna Martin

Jackson Lewis isn’t a typical werewolf. He isolates himself in a small town outside Spokane and dedicates himself to making his business—Lone Wolf Brewery—a success. If it leaves him little time for romance, he’s okay with that. His soul mate could be out there somewhere, but he isn’t actively looking.

So he’s in for quite the shock when he literally bumps into his soul mate—Leo Gallagher, an adorable, nerdy, vibrant music therapist who’s Jackson’s polar opposite.

But he’s human. And a man.

Jackson is straight—or at least he’s always assumed so. Though he can’t deny his attraction to Leo, it’s a lot for both of them to deal with.

While Jackson and Leo figure out what their future might hold, they face prejudice from both the human and werewolf communities—including a group of fanatics willing to kill to show humans and werewolves don’t belong together.

DNF

I tried... realllllllllly tried. I picked this book up many times over the span of a week and struggled page by page and couldn’t make a dent. This may be another it’s not you, it’s me but just know it was absolutely not my thing and here’s why…

It’s unlike any shifter book I’ve experienced which didn’t turn out to be a positive. I like unique reading experiences but this was so out of the typical realm of “soul mates” shifter style that I was scratching my head a lot. Right away STRAIGHT Jackson knows that Leo is his soul mate and Leo understands that there’s a connection between them. Does Jackson get all possessive? Growly? Protective? Ecstatic at finding his mate?

Their meeting is cut short and what happens from here are a bunch of meetings at random places so they can take it slow and get to know each other. Huh? I like the getting to know you part of a book and they don’t have to jump on the orgasm train right away (or at all). But their meetings read like job interviews and not shifter soul mates. Each time is very awkward and I didn’t understand why being mates was part of this story if they weren't going to act like it. *sigh*

Did you know Jackson is straight? Not Bi. Not Gay. Straighttttttttttt. He even states that he would be perfectly happy finding a woman to marry and “get on with his life” (EVEN KNOWING HE HAS A SOUL MATE). Because he’s straight. It’s worth mentioning because Jackson makes it clear repeatedly and in all the ways it can be stated. He probably used the Rosetta Stone to speak it in every language. #StraightAF

There’s a lot going on. It’s sort of like the kitchen sink was thrown in and the focus, chemistry, heat, and connection fell to the wayside. Maybe it picked up at the end? I wasn’t compelled to find out. Not recommended but as always, these thoughts are my own and YMMV.

Review: Two of a Kind by B.A. Tortuga

Working on a full house.

Once upon a time, Trey Williamson and Ap McIntosh had quite the whirlwind romance—but that was before family tragedy left them the guardians of five kids. Their lives have changed quite a bit over the last six years, but Ap is still on the rodeo circuit, doing what he does best in an attempt to feed all those extra mouths.

That leaves Trey back on the ranch, isolated and overworked as the kids’ sole caregiver. Something has to give, and when Ap comes home, they’re reminded how hot they burned once upon a time. But is it a love that can withstand wrangling over time, money, and the future? They have to decide what kind of family they want to be… and whether what they share can stand the test of time.

DNF @64%

You win some you lose some, right?

This wasn’t a win for me even though the title (sings some Garth Brooks) and the blurb had me interested. I was ready for what I thought would be an established couple rekindling their romance after life and kids made it take a back seat. What I got was instant confusion when Ap is on the road with the rodeo talking to a dude about hooking up… and then we get the call from Trey asking Ap to come home because he needs a break. From the blurb, I thought these two were already a couple but once Ap gets home it’s obvious there is nothing between them but the shared tragedy of lost family members that makes them guardians of their nieces and nephews.

Six years this has been going on with Ap riding the rodeo circuit making money to send home to Trey who is taking care of the kids. Ap only comes home on Thanksgiving and Christmas so… yeah. I get that the two men had something casual before the accident and now that Ap is home longer than his normal visit some of those feelings come up again but I never felt it. Not once.

There is way too much going on in this story to ever get a feel for who Trey and Ap really are other than the one what works and the one that stays home. They felt stagnant and actually boring. I get that the house was busy but I live in a busy house and still find moments to be intimate and affectionate with my husband that are real. These two… I dunno. It was just really odd.

The kids were okay but again, their animation made me long for a real connection.

I wanted to like this. I guess it’s on me that I read the blurb wrong and thought this was something it wasn’t.

An ARC was provided in exchange for an honest review.

Review: Stranger in a Foreign Land by Michael Murphy

After an accident stole his memory, the only home American businessman Patrick knows is Bangkok. He recovers under the tender ministrations of Jack, an Australian ex-pat who works nights at a pineapple cannery. Together they search for clues to Patrick’s identity, but without success. Soon that forgotten past seems less and less important as Jack and Patrick—now known as Buddy—build a new life together.

But the past comes crashing in when Patrick’s brother travels to Thailand looking for him… and demands Patrick return to Los Angeles, away from Jack and the only world familiar to him. The attention also causes trouble for Jack, and to make their way back to each other, Patrick will need to find not only himself, but Jack as well, before everything is lost…

DNF @ 42%

I love reading and it takes a lot for me to give up on a book but I couldn’t keep reading with this.

I adore a good amnesia story and the chance to rediscover yourself along with becoming someone totally new because you have no memory of who you were. There is a romanticism about amnesia and I am one who loves the trope but sadly it was used here in the weirdest way.

I couldn’t connect with the writing from the first page. It’s very wooden, pedestrian and to be honest, boring. So many details given and so many things told that I was never given a chance to feel anything for Patrick or even as “the man” when he loses his memory after the car accident. I was confused when Jack shows up because there was no indication of a dual POV until we suddenly hop into Jack’s head and see “the man” through his eyes. The head hopping is a constant and it kept taking me out of the story.

Patrick, aka “the man”, aka Buddy goes from being almost childlike with his amnesia to acting like he doesn’t have it at all with his knowledge. I am no amnesia expert but again this boomerang effect of his personality jarred me so much I couldn’t focus on what was going on even when what was going on was odd.

When Jack starts to perv out on this childlike man with no memory I had to take a moment and while I am no prude, it seemed almost predatory the way Jack basically stalked Buddy and then takes him home. I get people being overly kind and wanting to help but Jack could have given Buddy some clothes rather than let him hang out in a towel all afternoon and then naked and have thoughts about going down on the dude as he washed days of filth and dried blood of his body.
I don’t know. I decided to stop when things became physical and Buddy suddenly runs off to get oil from the kitchen to use as lube. Again, I don’t declare myself to be an amnesia expert but Buddy went from not knowing how to slice pineapple to knowing that peanut oil can be used as lube because he wanted to be fucked.

Um… *scratches head*

This ginger loves the Dreamspun line likes it’s my job, but this story doesn’t fit it at all.

No fluff.

Only frustration.

Review: In Over Our Heads (Stories from the Shore #2) by CJane Elliott

Anthony Vallen is the life of any party. Full of energy and fun, Anthony adores romance and enjoys playing matchmaker for his friends while dancing the night away with a series of Mr. Right Nows. But he’s given up on his own happy ending. A bad breakup years ago made him a secret cynic about love… until he runs into Walter Elkins—the boy who broke his teenaged heart—on a scuba-diving vacation in Key West. Suddenly, Anthony’s reasons for shunning romance no longer hold much water. Being with Walter again forces Anthony to get serious—about himself, his worth, and his heart’s desires.

Brilliant and self-contained, scientist Walter Elkins prefers deep thoughts to other people. He’s a good boss and a model citizen, but Walter doesn’t let anyone get close. After a tragedy drove him out of his science career, Walter landed in Key West and became owner of a dive shop and a bar. Things are fine until Anthony Vallen—the only person who ever penetrated his defenses—shows up, and Walter’s calm, controlled life capsizes. He and Anthony have a second chance for love, but Walter must confront the old fears that threaten to torpedo their happiness.

DNF - 60%

I just can’t with this story. I got to 58% and it just went downhill from there.
Those who enjoy fluffy and cute with over the top characters may enjoy this but it just did not work for me.

The start was good. I liked Tony as a character. He was fun and flirty with some depth (buried deep). He was interesting enough and the storyline was good. Somewhere around the time he was letting Miles down and admitting he wasn’t over Walter, the dialogue became way too forced. The rambling became longer and less coherent.

I also had issue with Walter. There is something really egotistical in thinking the world revolves around him and he caused things to happen that have absolutely nothing to do with him. Flogging that line for almost the entire book, grating.

It got to the point I didn’t even care if they got together, and would have preferred them to find other people. If Walter would prefer to wallow in his self-exile, all power to him, but he dragged ME down, and I had zero hope for a healthy outcome for these men.

High school sweethearts reunited is a favourite trope of mine, but this did not make me feel good. I admit, I gave up. I could see nothing redeeming about Walter’s behaviour and Tony was becoming hysterical.

Honestly, I think reading other reviews would give you a better idea if this story is for you. It was definitely not for me, and that bums me out because the first 40% had a lot of promise.

A review copy was provided for an honest opinion .

Guest Review: Bleeding Like Me by Riley Parks

BEAUTIFUL CONTRADICTION


He didn't paint people; the curves of their bodies and angles of their faces never interested him as much as cityscapes. The circumstances of his life had compelled him to create new worlds that he could get lost in rather than reflect the features of the people he ran from. He constructed buildings from their foundations, making them taller and stronger than he was. He adorned the edifices with countless windows, always left open or cracked so hope could pour in and fears could seep out. Tree lined streets reminded him how to breathe, pumping oxygen through the atmosphere, off the canvas, and into his lungs.


He didn't paint people until the day he no longer desired the anonymity of his cities. The streets didn't feel like his escape anymore, not like him. Cerulean skies gave way to pale blue eyes and bus routes to pink pouts. Evan didn't paint people until he painted Jackson.

Guest Reviewer - Annika


So this is going to be an unpopular review and really going against what seems like everyone else. So please, do not discard this book because of me, because most people seems to love it. I just couldn't and that's all on me.

There are a few things that rub me the wrong way and many of them were in this book. Let's start with the opening of the book. Two things that puts me off are; starting in the middle (or beginning/end) of a sex scene. Unless the MC is a sex worker of some kind this is just so unnecessary. Second is finding yourself in the middle of an action scene before you've been introduced to the characters. This book sadly starts with the second option, so we immediately get off on the wrong foot.

Then I just found myself rolling my eyes and forcing myself to read line by line. Not page to page, which you can force yourself through a lot. No, I struggled with each line. It was just the general feeling that the book evoked. Like I was reading about teenage wannabe tough guy, the whole "I'm too cool for my own good" mentality. And that really gets my back up. Add in the gang names and I was done.

These are all my personal feelings, and you should not discard the book because of them. Please, if the book sounds interesting to you, form your own decision and go from there.

A copy of this book was provided in exchange for an honest review