Review: Not Safe For Work by L.A. Witt

They’re a match made in the dungeon…until their secret gets out.

Bored senseless in a meeting, architectural modeler Jon McNeill amuses himself with a kinky dating app on his phone. Then the app matches him with another user…who’s six feet away. Suddenly Jon finds himself on the same page as someone way above his pay grade: millionaire property developer Rick Pierce. His firm’s biggest—and hottest—client.

The app isn’t kidding either. They’re a perfect match. Jon’s a Dom, Rick’s a sub, and bondage is their thing. Both guys are well into their forties, know their way around the bedroom, and definitely appreciate a good suit. And the best part? They’re a match outside the bedroom too.

But office relationships aren’t easy to keep a secret. When the truth comes out, Jon is certain he’s about to get fired. Instead, his bosses throw him a curve ball—an ultimatum that puts both his job and his relationship in jeopardy.

Warning: Contains literal and figurative sex machines, blindfolds, a sub being punished during a business meeting, enough rope to tangle up a millionaire, and a Golden Girls marathon.

I really don’t like being the voice of descent, but I honestly feel like I walked into a steakhouse mouth watering for a NY strip and the only thing on the menu was hamburger. 

The blurb on this book called to me and I answered! I was ready to giddyup all over it and the cover too. It stumps me as to why L.A. Witt’s solo kink doesn’t work for me, but it’s time for me to just accept that as fact and press on. Because Not Safe For Work did not work for me.

Things took a nosedive at 17% when the “dom”, Jon, failed to get his kink on. Let me just speak plainly, if I had a willing submissive in my dungeon for the first time and we’d already had “the talk” I promise you the first thing on my laundry list of things to do would absolutely, unequivocally NOT be fucking him. He would be getting tied up like a Christmas turkey and tortured into a writhing, begging, sweaty mess. So when this joker had him stripped and kneeling and all he could think about was butt sex…

Let’s just say my respect for him took a nosedive as did my interest. I tried to step away a couple times in the vain hope that would reinvigorate my interest.

Unfortunately, that was not in the cards.

In fact, every time I came back and Jon would make a reference to himself as a "dom" or Rick “needing” a dom I inevitably found myself throwing the stink eye and making snide comments. 

This book hardly qualifies as BDSM, hence I'm giving it the sugarkink tag despite the wax play, chastity, a fuck machine(!) and rope bondage. Mostly because they were all over in a blink and highly dissatisfying. They have far more vanilla sex than anything else. I appreciate SSC and open communication, but at a certain point…

Seriously. They talk and talk and talk and bored the bejesus out of me. I know it’s supposed to be “relationship development” but it’s about as interesting to read as an audit. What's worse is both of these guys are dull. So dull. I don't care how fantastical you are, the minutiae of daily life is never interesting especially not when you're Joe Schmo.

Another thing that annoyed me was the geriatricness. These guys are in their 40s going on 80 the way Jon makes it sound. He creaks and pops and grunts (not for the obvious reasons) more than my 91 yr old grandma. I felt like I needed to set up a Go Fund Me account for his rapidly approaching nursing home needs.

He’s sure not going to be able to afford it since he’s martyred himself into “having to” pay for all three of his children’s graduate level studies. I appreciate generosity but don’t be stupid and bankrupt yourself. There’s something to be said for working for your own education and, thereby, having a greater appreciation for it. Far be from me to get between a martyr and his/her cause though.

Instead he works himself into the ground in the oddest workplace micromanagement setting, possibly, ever. If I didn’t know better I’d say that CEO has a creepy stalker crush on Jon. It’s weird and never made sense to me.

All the interoffice nonsense added to the tedium. Why do I have to read about foam core and Xacto knives ad nauseum? I know it's a workplace romance but I could've done with a whole lot less workplace. Rick is bored by his job so how is it I’m expected to be blown away by the exciting world of architectural modeling?

And the conflict resolution was a little too Disney for me to buy.

Dual perspectives may have been more appealing since Rick struck me as less... grating, but by the end even he and his constant stuttering were on my last good nerve.

I'm not going to perpetrate and say I hated every single second of this book. There were times where I found myself thinking, 'that was sweet' or 'that's admirable realism', but by and large I found this book unsatisfying. And a chore.

Apologies for any butthurtedness that this review may cause. Unpopular opinion is entirely my own.

An ARC was provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

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  1. If you only saw my face while reading this review. How can one side eye & giggle at the same time? But it is done.

    1. What's fair is fair. You've made things come out my nose that should NEVER come out of anyone's nose. ;P