Review: Double Header: My Life with Two Penises by Diphallic Dude

He was featured on the front pages of RollingStone.com, Jezebel.com and was covered by The Huffington Post. Both Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno featured him in their opening monologues. Countless news agencies around the world broke the story when he went on Reddit and did an Ask Me Anything (AMA). Ranking as the 4th most popular Reddit AMA of all time (beating out the likes of Peter Dinklage, Bill Murray, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Harrison Ford), DoubleDickDude spent 48 hours discussing his life with a genetic condition known as diphallia. Only 1 in 5.5 million males worldwide are born with two penises. However very few (if any) are born with two working, and by all accounts, attractive penises. After having managed to stay under the radar for over 20 years DoubleDickDude (or DDD for short) amassed thousands of followers on Twitter and Tumblr in a matter of hours. In fact Twitter (temporarily) suspended his account for replying to his followers too many times!

For the past year he has taken to writing a more lengthy and detailed account of his life so far. Very little could be detailed during a frenzy of questions from thousands on Reddit. DDD goes from discussing his childhood, and explains how he knew he was special at an early age. His parents support grounded him in his early youth. We find out how he lost his virginity and was exposed to his peers. From there he discusses his wild streak of sexual adventures fresh out of high school. Recapping his favorite questions and answers, discussing sexuality and acceptance DDD covers the gamut.

Don't worry, all the saucy and steamy stories he hinted at in his AMA are covered and then some. Like that 7-way orgy he briefly detailed amid the torrent of questions during his AMA. Not to mention the hunky straight gym jock who "went gay" and the poor girl who... shall we say, her lady place was a wreck after one time with DDD. It's all in there and more!

Written from first person perspective the narrative is raw, honest and often times gritty. Details are not spared and readers beware, naughty moments are revealed! The next time you see a man on the street with more than an adequate bulge in his jeans, it might just be DDD.
 




I like many, many others discovered Double Dick Dude (DDD) about this time last year through his Reddit AMA. I wouldn’t go so far to say I became obsessed with him, more like fascinated. Let’s call a spade a spade, you put two cocks in the same room, you’ve got my attention. Two cocks on the same dude and… C’mon man, there’s only so much restraint I can muster up. Just look at them! Since the surgery a staggering 10" each.



DO STRAIGHT GUYS LIKE YOUR COCKS AS MUCH AS YOU CLAIM?

Yep, at least the ones who’ve seen them in person. My cocks are like a unicorn or… in my case a magical ram.

Alas, the Reddit AMA exploded into something akin to one of those giant man of war jellyfish with the tangle-y tentacles and I was forced to admit defeat.

I have a day job and a semblance of a life. I can’t be reading about DDD’s sexcapades all the day long! Then I found out about this book! I thought, ‘oh, I can catch up on all the sexcapades!’ Well… turns out a lot of this is on Reddit, so if you kept up with DDD on Reddit or Tumblr this is really going to bore you to tears.

He expounded upon his gym experience with the straight dude who “spotted” him which was probably my favorite part. It's bukkake porn gold because DDD comes by the bucketload.


DDD likes dudes that are straight or who claim to be, so I’m thinking a DDD St82gay series. Put him in an RV with a big ole mattress in the back covered in plastic, of course, and let’s GET 'ER DONE! Course that would leave out the ladies 

How can we forget about that time he pounded that girl in the Princess Leia bikini so hard that her cervix followed his cocks out and landed on the couch? That just doesn't happen every day. Well, it did for them for about three months or so. What about the orgy where he fucked 6 other people. 6!!! 



I pull them both out and wag them at her, she gets wide-eyed. I stuff them in her pussy and she orgasms instantly. She then tells me to stop and to take off the strap on and just fuck her with my dick. I tell her it's not a strap on and she refuses to believe me until she grabs them both and suddenly doesn't want to have sex anymore.
"We should stop before you come or something."
"I already did, three times."
She looks shocked, reaches down and feels my loads oozing out of both her holes.
 "I'm so going to hell for this." She put on her clothes and left.

THREE TIMES?!?!?!


Yes, whichever one I start with, after I come I can use the other immediately and keep going. Then switch back and keep going. I can go a few hours, having orgasms roughly every five to 10 minutes.



All this time I thought the penis sorcery in these romance books was a bunch of hooey. Turns out, DDD's got them all beat and he's a real dude!

Those three sexcapades largely encompass the book although there are snippets of humdingers peppered throughout.


A few hours passed and I finished emptying my prostate into him. The mattress was soaked, his ass wide open and gaping. I tugged them out and went to the bathroom. A moment later he walks in as I'm taking a piss, looks down and sees them again and then looks up at me and full out faints right there in a pile of laundry.

DDD doesn't always trouble himself with informing his sex partners of his condition prior to the banging. Details. He haz needs.

That include a fuckload of fisting. This I missed. I had no idea the lengths he went to to empty his prostrate which reportedly has to happen regularly otherwise it swells to grapefruit size and causes his ass to start yawning open. He's now taken to relieving it with a 2 liter soda bottle when without a willing partner or 5.



That he doesn't need lube for. I… I… really, I have no witty comeback for that. Tip of the hat, DDD.


I'm in fantastic shape, I work out weekly and at a glance I'd be considered the all American guy. I've got two dicks, a set of big stretched nuts and a huge asshole, big deal. I'm not bending over and showing it to old ladies outside the beauty parlor.

There is that.

As for the writing, it's not good. It's very rudimentary which is a shame because this, in the right hands, could've been great. I don't know who edited this thing but they need to find success in another field. Clearly, editing is not his/her forte. 

Lastly, I've heard/seen mention of DDD exaggerating or embellishing events and without sounding like a complete thundercunt here, I have serious reservations regarding DDD's ability to pull off a web of lies this extensive. 

Exhibit A:  DDD tried to have a foursome with a hooker and two of his buddies and told the hooker there were five cocks in the room. 

Exhibit B:  He had a buddy in high school who specifically asked him not to discuss their relationship in the book or elsewhere. He admits that he was his first male lover. Now, everyone who went to high school with them (minimum) knows they did the deed. Yes, everyone knew about his two cocks after he lost his virginity to Chatty Fucking Cathy. 

I rest my case.

Don't get me wrong. He seems to be a nice guy, believes in karma, is a proponent of positive body image and loathes labels, all things I can respect. Just… everyone can't be Stephen Hawking, y'know? And that's ok. Think how boring the world would be.

I have to say the amount they're charging for this equates to highway robbery, but I was entertained. I just wish it had been developed better minus all the regurgitation from Reddit and Tumblr. Verbatim no less.

Recommend to those with disposable income and/or fisting enthusiasts. 




Find out more on Goodreads.

4 comments:

  1. I think I've gotten as much info as I will ever need about this dude in your review. Thanks for the entertainment!

    ReplyDelete