Audiobook Review: Willow Man by John Inman

Woody Stiles has sung his country songs in every city on the map. His life is one long road trip in a never-ending quest for fame and fortune. But when his agent books him into a club in his hometown, a place he swore he would never set foot in again, Woody comes face to face with a few old demons. One in particular.

With memories of his childhood bombarding him from every angle, Woody must accept the fact that his old enemy, Willow Man, was not just a figment of childish imagination.

With his friends at his side, now all grown up just like he is, Woody goes to battle with the killer that stole his childhood lover. Woody also learns Willow Man has been busy while he was away, destroying even more of Woody's past. And in the midst of all this drama, Woody is stunned to find himself falling in love - something he never thought he would do again.

As kids, Woody and his friends could not stop the killer who lived in the canyon where they played. As adults, they might just have a chance.

Or will they?

Listening Length: 12 Hours 49 Minutes
Narrator: Austin Rising


It’s no secret I’m a huge fan of John Inman and his words in all their incarnations. I can’t get enough of his love pollen in the Belladonna Arms, his charming slapstick in Shy and his ventures into the dark side in Sunset Lake. Willow Man is definitely filed in the dark column and man did I love every heartbreaking moment.

I was born and raised in San Diego where Willow Man takes place and I remember the crash that is the catalyst for Willow Man well. I was a kid at the time and my mom worked in the area. I remember the panic and the fear as we waited at home for news. This was before you googled for news so we waited. And waited. And waited. Mom came home, all was well with us personally but San Diego was shell shocked for quite a while after. I know the canyons the author writes about and every little detail hit home for me. So, needless to say, I connected with the story from the beginning.

You can draw parallels to Stephen King’s horror masterpiece, IT, as mentioned in reviews here and there, but Willow Man is not IT and is its own horror masterpiece. The flavor is similar enough in that, if you love coming of age stories and you love the classic battle of good vs. evil; you can’t get enough bittersweet love and second chances and most of all you LOVE an epilogue that throws everything you found comfort in out the window, then Willow Man is for you just as much as IT.

Woody, Bobby, the twins Jeremy and Chuck and the total badass that is Cathy are inseparable childhood friends and the author nails the dialog and interactions in this group perfectly. And that is what elevates this to a classic for me. It’s so easy to make kids and preteens terrible, unreadable, but to make them real and to root for them as hard as I rooted for this group is impressive and the connection between their childhood and adult selves is flawless.

This is the first audiobook I’ve listened to with Austin Rising as the narrator and I need to hear more from him ASAP. There was a huge range of characters to cover in Willow Man and he got them all just right. Every bit of terror and every word of love was so organic I got caught up in the story from the first line to the last listening to him read the authors words.

Willow Man is evil incarnate. The amount of detail and backstory for him was just enough to make sure all his motivations were understood, and he’s just subtle enough to keep you extra off center while you’re listening. There’s no question of his terrible words and deeds and good gravy he’s a villain to beat all villains, but he never gets campy or overdone, he made my skin crawl with what was implied as much as what was described.

The kids though. Every one of them made this story. Sure, Woody and Bobby are the cornerstones of their younger years, but nothing would have worked without all of them together. The dynamics were perfect and the transition from childhood to adulthood was seamless considering the years they missed together.

The relationship between Woody and Bobby was, in a word, beautiful. Sure, they were young, but the love they felt for one another was so, so pure. It made my heart so happy and also filled me with more dread than I should ever feel! It’s a horror story, bad things are coming, I know this as I’m listening, but dammit, it didn’t make ANY of it any easier.

Flash forward to second chances and the epic battle between good and evil, and I couldn’t stop listening. How is this going to play out, how do you defeat Willow Man, when you are literally a man down and their nemesis is inhuman? The playout was ideal. I loved how things worked for the remaining friends and the takedown of Willow Man totally worked for the environment he dwelled in and cultivated all his evil.

And the epilogue, damn you John Inman, I love and hate the epilogue sooooooooo much. The part of me that loves the love pollen hated every bit. The part of me that loves good horror reveled in every word. The epilogue had to happen, it had to be there. I had to listen to Austin Rising scare the crap out of me and unsettle everything before it was over. Thanks for that, I mean that both sincerely and sarcastically and I know that horror fans will get that without any explanation.





**a copy of this audiobook was provided for an honest review**



Release Day Blitz + Giveaway: Reawaken (Under My Skin #2) by Christina Lee


Christina Lee releases Reawaken (Under My Skin #2) today! Discover more about the hurt/comfort romance and enter in the giveaway to win a $10 Amazon gift card!

Reawaken RDB Banner
REAWAKEN
UNDER MY SKIN SERIES, BOOK 2
CHRISTINA LEE
M/M ROMANCE
RELEASE DATE: 11.02.17


Reawaken_DIGITAL_HighRes
Cover Designer: KANAXA

BLURB
Losing his adoring husband shattered Tristan Rogers world. For the past few years, he’s been going through the motions, running their dog grooming business while hiding the loneliness he feels down to his bones. When he witnesses an ugly breakup between a pretentious customer and his boyfriend, Tristan can’t help but intervene. Something about the unassuming younger man calls to him, and he can’t help wondering if he’s experienced some heartache of his own.
Life took a tragic turn for Jonas “West” Hollis as a teen, and he’s felt indebted to his overbearing lover ever since. Tristan’s kindness draws him from the start, but with his dreams finally in reach, West can’t risk getting close to someone else. Not now that he can live his life and stand on his own merit.
From innocent texts to companionable rides on Tristan’s boat, what starts as an unexpected friendship between the men sparks into undeniable attraction. Neither are ready for anything deeper than a couple of passionate nights wrapped in each other’s arms but their connection becomes too intense for either to ignore. If Tristan and West want to heal their broken hearts, they’ll need a considerable amount of trust and courage—not only in themselves but also each other.

Reawaken Teaser 1

EXCERPT
“Promise you won’t let me drown?”

“If I did, I’d miss out on whatever meal you promised as payback,” he replied with a smirk. “And believe me, I’m all for that.”

A nervous laugh jumped from my throat, even though the idea of cooking for him—for anybody, really—thrilled me. I pulled the sticky orange life vest over my neck and fastened it, figuring I’d bob around at first and get used to the water.

After I jumped in, I stuck close to Tristan, still nervous that I’d somehow float away from him and feel abandoned in this giant body of water.

“You ready to try without the life vest?” he asked in a tentative voice.

My pulse pitched, but I still nodded. I knew he wouldn’t leave me stranded or let anything happen to me.

“We’ll just practice floating.”

Tugging me closer to the edge of the boat, he helped unsnap the vest. As he fished it over my shoulders, his gaze met mine. “It’s okay. I got you.”

He placed the vest on the platform, where my fingers were digging into the edge for dear life.

Tristan moved behind me, his hands winding around my waist, and I immediately felt goose bumps line my skin. Just like I did when I was lying in bed with him. His lips found my ear, and it made all the hair along my nape stand on end. “Breathe, West. It’s going to be okay.”

Christina Lee Logo
Mother, wife, reader, dreamer. Christina lives in the Midwest with her husband and son--her two favorite guys. She's addicted to lip balm, coffee, and kissing. Because everything is better with kissing.

She writes MM Contemporary as well as Adult and New Adult Romance. She believes in happily-ever-afters for all, so reading and writing romance for everybody under the rainbow helps quench her soul.
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Review: A Bolt of Blue by Nicky Spencer

Ian Golinski has been in love with his best friend since he was fourteen years old. When he finally decides to confess his feelings, he finds that his perpetually single friend isn't so single anymore. What’s a boy to do when he has to share the love of his life with someone else? Especially someone so damn hot?

Dusty Smith has finally found The One. The only problem is The One clearly has feelings for someone else, even if he doesn’t realize it. Dusty has to convince his lover that they’re meant to be. But how does he do that when the other man turns out to be perfect for them both?

Mitch Becker likes things nice and simple. But as his relationship with his boyfriend heats up, he starts developing feelings for his best friend. Suddenly his life is one big complication. How can he choose between two soul mates?

Find out what happens when three men ask the question: What if we don’t have to choose?


This book was difficult to rate. I’ve gone back and forth and all that thinking made my brain hurt. There were parts that really worked for me and then parts that just didn’t. Parts that I wanted to slow down and parts I had to hold myself back from skipping. When I read a book that has a party of three, I always look to see if they’re all treated as equals and that their love/connection works in pairs as well as the trio. It didn’t IMO and I hope I’m able to adequately explain what didn’t work for me.

Mitch and Ian have been best friends for most of their life. They’ve always had a platonic relationship but Ian has been completely in love with Mitch for years. They have a very close relationship that borders on more than friends but Mitch has been too blind to notice and Ian has been too reluctant to tell Mitch how he feels. They are both busy with school, Ian working as a CNA and Mitch playing college baseball. Finally, Ian can’t take it any more and HAS to tell Mitch how he feels. They meet up at a bar and Ian is totally terrified but ready to spill… that is, until Mitch’s secret, Greek god, bartender boyfriend comes up to their table and gives Mitch a kiss.

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Mitch and Dusty met at Angel’s bar, where Dusty is a bartender. What was supposed to be a one night stand turned out to be a relationship that Mitch kept under wraps. By time Ian finds out about the relationship, they have been together almost 7 weeks and are in love. It’s a very tough pill for Ian to swallow but he does for the sake of Mitch’s happiness. However, when Mitch and Ian hang out, there are these “moments” that are opening Mitch’s eyes to his feelings for Ian even though he still loves Dusty.

Ian and Dusty have also been spending time together while Mitch is off taking care of his sister’s issues or playing baseball. It’s during these times with Ian and Dusty that they start to develop feelings for each other until one drunken night, they kiss. This sets off a domino effect of issues for all of them to work through. While they do get their HEA, Mitch has to work through the “betrayal” and all the feelings between Ian and Dusty and Mitch’s with both men.

I had a hard time with Mitch. He grated on me with his overly dramatic personality, judgy statements, and everything surrounding his sister, April. I didn’t understand the need for April’s storyline outside of creating potential drama for Dusty and Mitch which detracted from the story IMO. The introduction of April and her issues wasn’t smooth and as it was first happening, my thoughts were along the lines of, “Oh gosh, here we go.” I also didn’t believe the relationship between Mitch and Dusty. Outside of sex, they didn’t have depth. Don’t get me wrong, sex is always a plus but, I needed more and they didn’t have it. They never shared anything meaningful but when Ian came along, Dusty was spilling his soul to him. That didn’t work because Mitch and Dusty were supposedly in love and they had found the one but couldn’t share anything beyond orgasms and food.

Now, Ian and Dusty is where it’s at.

oh yeah.gif

They worked. They had a great connection and the depth in their relationship was so evident that it highlighted the shortfalls with Mitch. They had awesome chemistry and my kindle started smoking just from their kisses. I wouldn’t have complained if this was a M/M starring them. They were a team whether it was in the kitchen cooking, cuddling on the couch, or getting it on. I was a huge fan of them.

Mitch and Ian never really found their stride. They didn’t seem to be equals in the trio even though they were life long friends. It remained awkward and they never quite got to the point together to even come close to how Ian was with Dusty.

The POVs changing with each chapter was a little hard to get into at the beginning. I’m sure by now you can all guess that I would have preferred Mitch’s POV to disappear. *shrug* Another addition to the story that had me rolling my eyes and shaking my head was Trevor. He was a guy that Ian went out with twice to try and get over Mitch. There was enough going on with the three MCs coming together, the implications of said relationship on family/friends, and the bar drama to make the book work. Trevor was as pointless to my reading enjoyment as the April storyline and yet both brought so much drama.

There should be a trigger warning for mentions of sexual assault. The facts in the story are contradictory from the actual event to when it was mentioned at the end. However, it’s worth noting. There is also cheating by way of kissing prior to the three of them getting together.

This was a decent read. I don’t expect each MC to share the exact same likes, desires, bond and relationship with both the other men but I do want them to all feel equal and share some depth. While it didn’t fully work for me, I could see this being an okay starting point for those new to menage books.

A review copy was provided.

Trivia Question: Which series is quickly followed by a collection of shorts featuring the main couple and titled by the MC’s name? 10 pts

Anniversary Shenanigans: Author Visit + Giveaway - Bru Baker


Did you try the unicorn punch yet? Psst...it's spiked! Grab a glass and come gather round! It's story time! The unicorns are very excited to have Bru Baker joining our anniversary shenanigans. And she's brought gifts. See them below!


Flash Fiction with Tate and Adrian from Camp H.O.W.L.




Tate squinted at the phone Adrian was holding out and shook his head. “That doesn’t look anatomically possible.”

Adrian fiddled with the screen and zoomed in. “Oh come on! It looks fun.”

“It looks like a trip to the camp infirmary,” Tate said flatly.

“We’re werewolves. We heal quickly. Diann has a whole lecture about it she gives all the wolflings.”

“Being able to heal isn’t the same as not getting hurt in the first place. And that,” he gestured at Adrian’s phone, “that looks like a high likelihood of pain.”

Adrian didn’t disagree, but it still looked fun. And since his Turn, he’d been all about the scope of his new werewolf senses and the limits of his strength and endurance. He shrugged and put the phone on the table.

“Fine. I’ll go ask Blake if he wants to experiment. He’s been encouraging me to push my boundaries, I bet he’d love to be my partner.”

Tate’s eyes flashed. “Oh, it’s on.”

He pulled at the hem of his T-shirt, sending it flying across the room as he tugged it off. His jeans pooled at his feet a second later, leaving him there in his boxer briefs. He tilted his head and quirked a brow. “We doing this or not?”

Adrian snorted but followed suit, folding his clothes into a neat pile next to his phone. “You really know how to set the mood,” he said.

Tate ignored him and stretched his arms over his head, his muscles bunching and flexing as he twisted and turned, limbering up.

“Who needs to be more flexible, top or bottom?”

“Top,” Adrian answered without hesitation.

“That would be you, then.” Tate took a measured breath and splayed out on the couch. He raised his legs into the air and held his hands out to Adrian, who balked.

“That’s too soft. You won’t get the leverage you need--”

“Shut up and get over here. This was your idea.”

Adrian rolled his eyes but dutifully walked over and climbed up on the couch. Tate’s grip was firm as he helped steady him, and Adrian leaned into him, letting Tate take the brunt of his weight as he situated himself. Five seconds in his muscles started to burn, his arms wobbling with the effort of holding himself aloft.

“Is it everything you’d hoped for?” Tate asked, his voice shaking with exertion.

Adrian grinned down at him. “And more.” He lowered himself down to press  a quick kiss to Tate’s lips but lost his balance, sending both of them tumbling out of the yoga pose and into a laughing heap on the floor.

“Bet Blake wouldn’t have let me fall,” Adrian taunted once they’d gotten their breath back.

Tate grabbed him and rolled on top of him, his eyes crinkled with amusement. “You’d better not be kissing your yoga teacher.”

Adrian’s cheeks ached from grinning so hard. “Nope. Only you.”

Want to learn a little more about this couple from Camp H.O.W.L.? See our tag team review HERE and more info below! 

We thank Bru graciously for joining our anniversary celebrations! 

Let her know what you thought of Tate and Adrian below in the comments!


Title: Camp H.O.W.L.
Author: Bru Baker
Release date: Nov. 1, 2017
Cover Artist: Aaron Anderson
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Length: 238 pages
Tags: Gay; M/M; werewolves; Dreamspun Beyond









 
Blurb
Moonmates exist, but getting together is going to be a beast….

When Adrian Rothschild skipped his “werewolf puberty,” he assumed he was, somehow, human. But he was wrong, and he’s about to go through his Turn with a country between him and his Pack—scared, alone, and eight years late.

Dr. Tate Lewis’s werewolf supremacist father made his Turn miserable, and now Tate works for Camp H.O.W.L. to ease the transition for young werewolves. He isn’t expecting to offer guidance to a grown man—or find his moonmate in Adrian. Tate doesn’t even believe in the legendary bond; after all, his polygamist father claimed five. But it’s clear Adrian needs him, and if Tate can let his guard down, he might discover he needs Adrian too.

A moonmate is a wolf’s missing piece, and Tate is missing a lot of pieces. But is Adrian up to the challenge?

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Bio:

Bru Baker spent fifteen years writing for newspapers before making the jump to fiction. She now balances her time between writing and working at a Midwestern library in the reference department. Most evenings you can find her curled up with a mug of tea, some fuzzy socks, and a book or her laptop. Whether it’s creating her own characters or getting caught up in someone else’s, there’s no denying that Bru is happiest when she’s engrossed in a story. She and her husband have two children, which means a lot of her books get written from the sidelines of various sports practices.

Visit Bru online at www.bru-baker.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.






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Tag Team Review: Camp H.O.W.L. by Bru Baker

Moonmates exist, but getting together is going to be a beast….

When Adrian Rothschild skipped his “werewolf puberty,” he assumed he was, somehow, human. But he was wrong, and he’s about to go through his Turn with a country between him and his Pack—scared, alone, and eight years late.

Dr. Tate Lewis’s werewolf supremacist father made his Turn miserable, and now Tate works for Camp H.O.W.L. to ease the transition for young werewolves. He isn’t expecting to offer guidance to a grown man—or find his moonmate in Adrian. Tate doesn’t even believe in the legendary bond; after all, his polygamist father claimed five. But it’s clear Adrian needs him, and if Tate can let his guard down, he might discover he needs Adrian too.

A moonmate is a wolf’s missing piece, and Tate is missing a lot of pieces. But is Adrian up to the challenge?


Sara - 4 Hearts


Adrian Rothschild turned twenty-seven yesterday. Before last night, he had never exhibited any signs of the Turn. His Pack had accepted the fact that he was human— until now.
This was a fun and refreshing take on the werewolf trope.

We meet Adrian on his 27th birthday that he is being forced to celebrate. For Adrian, it’s a pretty melancholy day as it’s a reminder that he never had his Turn - into a wolf - during his second puberty on his 19th birthday. With his mother being not only the Alpha of his pack but a highly respected Alpha who sits on the Werewolf Tribunal, Adrian is an embarrassment to his pack though they still love him because he’s family. When Adrian goes out of town for business the night of the full moon, he begins to exhibit symptoms of heightened awareness he thinks are illness related until he passes out because his body is preparing for the Turn.

Tate Lewis is a psychologist who works at Camp H.O.W.L , a “camp” designed to help new wolflings not only through their first Turn but how to control the shift from wolf to human and not do so out in public. Werewolves are still a kept secret in polite society in this book and these wolfings need guidance to know what could lead to a possible outing of their kind and a downfall of epic proportions. When Tate is called in by his boss to retrieve an adult that is about to experience his first Turn, he is ready and willing to do whatever he needs to help but Tate gets much more than he bargained for or wants.

On paper, Camp H.O.W.L. was a private juvenile detention and rehabilitation center for troubled teens.
Which was actually true, after a fashion. They were just troubled by a furry change instead of legal or emotional problems. Even the camp name had a human cover story. The acronym stood for Honor, Obligation, Willpower, and Loyalty. All traits that would serve a miscreant human teenager and a werewolf equally well.

When Tate and Adrian meet the chemistry is obvious. Both men are attracted but Tate is determined to do his job and help Adrian through his Turn. When Tate realized that he and Adrian share a Turn Bond, he is wary because there is a physical attraction the men share and though most Turn  Bonds remain platonic, there’s has a chance to become more.

I liked the take on the Turn Bond with this story. It was something new to me and I like that a bond can be formed that is just a bond during this emotional and tough time with two people. I am a suck for the fated mate trope so when the Bond doesn’t go away in a matter of days like it should, Tate, Adrian and the other staff member at Camp H.O.W.L realize this Turn Bond is of the mythical variety called Moonmates. Ahh Moonmates, basically fated mates with a sort of Romeo and Juliet twist as Moonmates are usually from rival Packs. Well, that kind of make sense when we learn that Tate is Packless and why.

“Everything else is important because it’s part of your story, but it’s not our story. Our story started with the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen walking into a hospital room when I was scraped up, dirty, and wearing an assless gown. And he looked at me and found something he hadn’t known he was missing.”

Tate didn’t have a happy childhood. His dad/Alpha was and still is an asshole to those under him and he is also a polygamist to boost. I was shocked to read all that his dad did and then I was kinda also shocked it was in the blurb because it hit me hard when Tate talks about it and why all his father had done affects how he views pack and really his thoughts on Moonmates. But Moonmates are supposed to be the perfect compliment to what you are missing and Tate and Adrian have been missing each other.

I liked that the story took time with these two as well though I find nothing wrong with fated mates claiming one another instantly. It’s what makes the trope hot. But this wasn’t about two wolves, this was about a wolf and a wolfling who has resigned himself to being nothing but a human among wolves who now has to learn everything from scratch. It made sense for them to take it slow as Adrian learned how to control his wolf though I like his wolves senses, even if what he hears through the walls is wrong.

Oh but the UST with Adrian and Tate was delicious. With that wolf sense of smell and how they react to one another I was in heaven. I knew the payoff of the waiting would be worth it and I wasn’t wrong. The couple is amazing and truly adorable as only Moonmates can be.

An added plus is the author writes the men in shifted form to be so CUTE! Sorry, it took me a long time to even read a shifter story but now I love it when they are in their shift and playful as their animal but still them. I adored that Tate didn't’ see himself in wolf form as something special and then seeing him through Adrian’s eyes… le sigh.

The only thing that makes this not a five heart read for me is that quick ending shifting to the epilogue. I thought we’d get a bit more about them deciding on their life together and I would have loved to read Tate meeting Adrian’s mom. That epilogue was really rushed though I get they were happy Maybe it’s just me wanting more of the story but with all the building toward them truly becoming Moonmates with accepting all that it means, I feel a little let down by the end.

But this was still fun and sweet and sexy. It had a few laugh out loud moments for me as well as some swoony one and ones that had me cringing with embarrassment. Most of all, it was a lovely romance built on the idea that there is the perfect person out there for you and you’ll find them when you least expect it.

SheReadsALot - 3.5 Hearts

Camp H.O.W.L. by Bru Baker is a perfect addition to the Dreamspun Beyond line. It's sweet, low angst and gentle in the romance department.

In this world, werewolves are hidden in plain sight from humans. Werewolves can shift into wolves once they've reached their second puberty at 19 years old and will Turn into a werewolf. There are a few genetic anomalies that can't shift once they've reached their 19th birthday; they are essentially human. Such is the case for Adrian Rothschild. He's the son of the Portland Alpha and is the only non-shifter in his tight-knit werewolf family.

Well...that is until his 27th birthday, while he's traveling for work in Indianapolis.

Werewolf down!

You know what sucks worse then having to relive your second puberty eight years too late? Having to do it away from your pack.

Thankfully, Dr. Tate Lewis, a counselor and psychologist from nearby werewolf Turning camp for teens, Camp H.O.W.L. is on the rescue. Werewolves can't not be known at all costs, so once Tate bursts into Adrian's hospital room, it was moonmates at first sight.

Moonmates are a take on the classic fated mates trope, where moonmates are perfectly compatible and each others' ideal mate. Adrian doesn't know how to werewolf or read the signs. but he does know there is something special about tate. He calms him in his now hormone addled world.

Adrian becomes the newest Camp H.O.W.L. resident and also the oldest camper. But the story doesn't focus on that. Though it could have been super funny if it did. Instead, it focuses on Tate trying to deny biology and his mate.


(I know, I know. Doesn't he know you can't fight fated mates?)

Tate had a horrible childhood of living in a cult. We learn bits and pieces about it from other close friends of Tate and Tate himself. The reader doesn't get to flashback at any pivotal or crucial scenes to get a glimpse at the horrible childhood. Tate is doesn't want a moonmate. He just wants to continue being a loner. But his body is attuned to Adrian...so his struggle is real.

The story spans weeks as campers camp until they learn to control their shifts. Adrian and Tate help each other with Adrian's late bloom Turning during those weeks and get closer. The story doesn't rock the boat and evenly paced. There isn't big plot twists. The intimate times are minimal. And smutsters, this won't be a book for you as there isn't any penetration.

Fluffsters, however? This is recommended for you.

A lot of communication, sweet slow feels with some paranormal shifting on the side!

I would have liked some more showing why the moonmates reaction is so crucial and special. We get told it is but I've read fated mates where the reader gets to discover the difference right along with the protagonist. some more of Adrian's meddling pack would have been nice too just to see why they're so special to Adrian and how Tate will fit after meeting them.

I did like the epilogue, it was the step in the right direction for these two.


Anniversary Shenanigans: Author Visit + Giveaway - Sidney Bell


Brace yourselves for the feels Sidney Bell is about to serve up for your reading pleasure. 




The Mermaid Game by Sidney Bell

“I’m not staying,” Jim insisted, although he didn’t seem to be leaving. The tile was cold beneath his bare feet, the hems of his jeans damp because Marco was an uncultured swine who couldn’t bathe without splashing water all over hell and back. Marco knew exactly what he was thinking, too, because his crooked grin was blindingly white against his deeply olive skin, his dark eyes sly. He was sleek as an otter in the big claw-footed bathtub. Jim could see the steam from across the room. He’d only stepped inside to say that he’d be in the garage, and he’d really meant to leave, but now he was just standing here staring.

Marco flicked a few drops of water in Jim’s direction with lazy fingers and said, “Come swimming with me, Jimmy. You can be my mermaid that I’ve rescued from the depths of the ocean.”

“It’s a tub,” Jim replied, unimpressed. “And I’m a better swimmer than you. And wouldn’t a mermaid be saving you?”

“Details,” Marco said dismissively. “Get in.”

“I can’t stay up here with you. My mother is downstairs. I told her I was coming right back down, and if I take too long, she’ll know we’re—”

“Yes, life as we know it will end. Elaine McGuire is forced to acknowledge that The Sex exists. And yet, I suspect she will survive. She does have children, after all.” Marco paused mid-eyeroll. “Are you sure you weren’t adopted? That would explain so much.”

Jim ignored that. “I have to get the shelves installed in the garage. And I said I’d help rake the leaves, since Dad’s back is hurting again. I promised. I can’t…I can’t just ignore all of that to stay up here with you.” He could hear the longing he couldn’t quite conceal, and Marco’s expression lost that ironic edge.

“It’s a bath, Jimmy, not an orgy,” Marco said gently. “Please get in. The mermaid game is really simple, I swear. It’s basically me calling you a mermaid. We’re already playing, actually. But it’s better if you’re in here with me. Verisimilitude, pal.”

Jim studied all that damp, flushed-red skin, the tendril of black hair dripping against Marco’s creased forehead. “I can’t.”

Marco folded his arms on the lip of the tub and dropped his chin to rest on his hands, the porcelain squeaking under his wet fingertips as he got comfortable. Matter-of-factly, he said, “I hate what this does to you. I hate what they do to you.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re like someone else whenever we come here.”

Jim stiffened, but the implication of the words—I don’t like who you are when we’re here—didn’t match the concern in Marco’s face, and Jim knew better, he did, and even if he hadn’t, Marco knew him, well enough to read the impending hurt and fear.

 “No.” Marco sat up so fast he sent more water sloshing onto the floor. “God, no. That’s not what I meant.”

Jim grabbed towels from the closet and draped them over the floor while Marco watched, mouth pursed unhappily. “It’s okay,” Jim said.

“No, it isn’t.” Marco caught Jim’s wrist, staring up at him with eyes gone tense at the corners. “I love you. All the versions of you. Even the uptight little ass you become when you’re around your family. I just want to make it better. You’re so…locked in. And it’s not…fuck. I’m saying it wrong.”

“No, it’s not wrong.” Jim twisted his wrist, breaking loose of Marco’s restraining grip so he could  interlace their fingers more comfortably. He didn’t know how to say that he was always braced in this house. It was another lifelong habit, this tension, as familiar as the magnets on the fridge or the spots on the dining room table where the finish was peeling or the pile of his father’s fishing gear that was permanently grafted to the armoire by the back door.

They weren’t bad people, Jim reminded himself frequently. They loved him. He loved them. They were all just profoundly, effortfully different. Every space between them was a minefield that none of them knew how to traverse without words that inevitably turned barbed. At some point, Jim had put up walls, walls that’d migrated to other areas of his life, until one day he looked up and found himself trapped.

Until seventeen months ago, when Marco appeared. Marco was a bulldozer, a warm, loving, argumentative bulldozer who’d blithely intruded where everyone else quailed. They’d had three awkward dates that’d left Jim wondering what the hell Marco kept coming back for, and then a fourth date that had ended with Marco fucking Jim senseless deep into the quiet, early-morning hours. Jim had woken at dawn, disoriented and overheated, surrounded by Marco’s heavy, snoring bulk. Marco’s forearm, slack with sleep, was draped around him, and Jim’s hands had somehow clamped down on it in the night, holding it in place.

When Marco finally blinked his eyes open, he’d demanded breakfast and entertainment, only to be curiously satisfied by the sleeve of Ritz crackers and the ancient issue of The Atlantic Jim had produced, and he’d lain there in Jim’s bed talking with his mouth full about some outdated article he’d barely gotten three paragraphs into before he started picking it apart, oblivious to the fact that Jim had tuned him out in order to quietly panic about how badly he’d wanted to say I’m not going to mention the crumbs in my sheets, because that’s how much I want you, I love the crumbs you’re leaving behind, that’s how much I already need you.

Jim, it later turned out, was the kind of man who could know he was in love for six months before he managed to say it. For a long time, he’d wondered when Marco would get tired of always being the one who had to reach across the distance Jim couldn’t help creating. He wasn’t sure when he’d simply decided to be grateful.

Now, Marco said, “You’re allowed to speak up for what you need. They should let you. Hell, they should want you to. I know that you know how. You do it with me.”

That’s different, Jim wanted to say. I trust you not to leave.

“You do it everywhere else,” Marco continued. “You’re so much happier everywhere else.”

“It’s easier everywhere else.” Jim’s throat was so tight he wasn’t sure how the words got out. “But here…I don’t know how to stop.”

“You just do what I say. I won’t get you into trouble, I promise.” Marco raised three fingers in the Boy Scout salute, then smiled, that impish, sweet, determined smile that belied everything he’d said. “We’ll put in the stupid shelves and rake the stupid leaves together later. But for now, just do what I say.”

“Oh, just do what you say,” Jim repeated dryly. “Is that all?”

“I mean, we both know you want to play mermaid, Jim.”

Jim couldn’t quite stop himself from snorting.

Marco grinned back. “Get in the tub, baby. I’ll wash your hair and tell you how pretty you are.”

“You’re fucking ridiculous,” Jim muttered. But his hands were unbuttoning his shirt without his permission, and it hurt, it actually physically hurt, to take that first step forward, but Marco was right. Marco was always right when it came to things like this, when it came to what it would take to make the noise in Jim’s head settle. The heat of the water left him gasping, but didn’t warm him half as much as the way Marco’s arms opened wide for him, the way their bodies fit and made room for each other.

“If you call me pretty, I’m getting out,” Jim whispered.

Marco laughed softly. “Yeah, right. You’re not going anywhere.”

Jim pushed his face into the curve of Marco’s throat and breathed in the familiar, well-loved scent of his skin. No, he wasn’t going anywhere at all.



Wasn't that Grrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaatttt? Be sure to let Sidney know what you thought of her fic in the comments section!

About the Author

Sidney Bell lives in the drizzly Pacific Northwest with her amazingly supportive husband. She received her MFA degree in Creative Writing in 2010, considered aiming for the Great American Novel, and then promptly started writing fanfiction instead. Eventually more realistic grown-ups convinced her to try writing something more fiscally responsible, which is how we ended up here.

When she’s not writing, she’s playing violent video games, yelling at the television during hockey games, or supporting her local library by turning books in late.

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