Sunday Funday!!! Cooking with a Special Ingredient?!!

Thanksgiving has just passed for us over here in the States, so looking for new recipes might not be on the forefront of the mind. But here at the UM headquarters, we are always looking for the latest trends, newest recipes...*UM chants* recipe reading FTW! (Inside joke...ha, she said inside.)

*snickers* So imagine my surprise when a fellow unicorn brought this recipe book to my attention, "Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes" by Paul 'Fotie' Photenhauer some days ago. This is serious, boys and girls. Not a gag gift (ha!) but honest to goodness food recipes with an added protein ingredient...semen!

So you know I had to go investigate this recipe tome with my serious detecting magnifying glass, kick ass rain boots (because from the sound of the book someone was going to get sticky and messy) and trusty search engine. And within seconds...mind blown.

There's a website:, how to videos, customer attestations and ANOTHER FRIGGING BOOK! Hold onto your seats...I'll get to that after I share my findings of the food book.

And it is all safe for work. Surprised, smutsters? I know.

Fellow coffee lovers...there is something for you. I'm more a half & half girl myself but who can turn down extra cream:

Is It Real? A Semen Based Cookbook

Health nuts (LOL) needing that extra boost? Add a little protein shake to your smoothie!

Is It Real? A Semen Based Cookbook

Tired of the same ol' BBQ sauce, wanting a special kick? Why not add some splooge?!

Is It Real? A Semen Based Cookbook

Oysters are already an aphrodisiac (allegedly) if you're cooking with "Natural Harvest", baby, you're adding man chowder to add that extra essence.

Is It Real? A Semen Based Cookbook

Is It Real? A Semen Based Cookbook

Now before you go run off to add two ball throat cream to all your fave recipes, you're probably going to be a bit thirsty from all of that food. Apparently, the penis genie has answered your devious request (don't worry I'll keep it between you and I, promise) and created a mixed drink book full of sperm, nut butter, mmm...cum! "Semenology: The Semen Bartender's Handbook"

For those looking to coat their...*coughs*throat*coughs*
Here's two recipes from the handbook (get it handbook...because you're going to need a hand or more to get that prostate milk...subtle *wink*)

Here's the Galliano Cum Shot!

And the ever popular Macho Mojito!

There's even a how-to video on the website to make a Macho Mojito...

Maybe there are holidays, special occasions probably cumming up in your neck of the woods... Why not give that special someone a gift that keeps on giving? Say it with care and trouser gravy to that special someone.

Or maybe...just maybe you might want to test it judging here, folks. Just put that special baby-making music a la slow jams, dim the lights and the ingredients...flow.


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