Showing posts with label Matthew J. Metzger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Matthew J. Metzger. Show all posts

Guest Review: The Beginning (Starting Over #5) by Matthew J. Metzger

Is this the end of the road, or the start of a whole new journey?

Aled’s had enough. His family is hundreds of miles away from him, his job is pointless and the feeling that he’s missing out on his own life has grown too big. But how can he call time on Yorkshire when it’s the place that Gabriel calls home?

Chris doesn’t know what to do. Inheriting property in the childhood village where he felt such a freak growing up wasn’t what he wanted, and he didn’t expect to miss Aled and Gabriel as much as he has since returning to Somerset. He’s out of place yet again, but doesn’t know where to call home.

When Aled is offered a job in Cornwall, Gabriel senses an opportunity to fix Aled’s misery, shed Chris’ unhappy history and bring their entire relationship under one roof. It will be the biggest gamble Gabriel’s ever taken on them…but this time, it doesn’t feel like taking a risk.

They’re starting over at the beginning, and there’s nothing left to fear.

Reader advisory: This book contains expressions of homophobia and transphobia from multiple characters. There are scenes of rough sex, BDSM and RACK.


Reviewer: Shee Reader

This is the fifth book in the series. I have read the others, but reckon a reader would be able to enjoy this as a stand alone. The story follows a polyamorous group of guys in a complex and loving relationship. Everyone has their own needs and although Gabriel’s needs don’t resonate with me personally, I could see how his various relationships met all of his needs.

Aled is growing increasingly unhappy in his work life, but he really needs Gabriel. Could Gabriel ever consider a move across the country even if it means one of his partners would be closer, as he simultaneously leaves another further behind?

Chris isn’t sure what to do. He misses Gabriel and Aled, and has never been happy here, but he is alone with his inherited house.

It’s such a complicated scenario for a book, but is the perfect culmination to this series. We see our guys make a BIG change in their quest for happiness and balance, and fortunately this is a romance with a solid gold HEA with all the quirks!

Oh my goodness I loved this book! It is raw, somewhat gritty and a lot is outside my experience, but the writing is stellar. The characters are well formed and three dimensional, the relationships are so real I felt like they were real-life friends of mine. The pursuit of happiness in a form that is not the societal norm can be so very hard. This book is a high quality Own Voices tale by one of my favourite authors. The Trans, Poly and Ace rep are real and beautiful. This is another triumph by Matthew. I can not recommend it enough.

I received a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.


Release Blitz + Giveaway: Like the First Moon Landing (Roche Limit #1) by Matthew J. Metzger


Author Matthew J. Metzger and IndiGo Marketing celebrate the release of Like the First Moon Landing (Roche Limit #1)! Find out more and enter in the $10 NineStar Press credit giveaway!


Title: Like the First Moon Landing
Series: Roche Limit, Book One
Author: Matthew J. Metzger
Publisher: NineStar Press
Release Date: April 13, 2020
Heat Level: 1 - No Sex
Pairing: Female/Female
Length: 44800
Genre: Science Fiction, LGBTQIA+, science fiction, lesbian, intersex, trans, discrimination, mystery

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Synopsis

Stranded and injured in deep space, Maggie McLean has one chance at survival—the ship drifting off her starboard side, refusing to answer her distress calls. The ship the whole universe has been looking for.

Maggie most of all.

The Swift vanished without so much as a cry for help. There have been endless conspiracy theories, from aliens to government corruption to wormholes leading to other dimensions, but one thing was certain. She was gone, with all two hundred and thirty-six crew members on board. Including Maggie’s wife.

Maggie’s going to figure out what happened come hell or high water—but she might not like what she finds.

Excerpt

Like the First Moon Landing
Matthew J. Metzger © 2020
All Rights Reserved

Pain.

It was the first thing Maggie knew. A dull throbbing, starting in the fat weight of her brain at the base of her skull and rippling outwards like stones into still water. There was a stabbing sensation in her shoulder, and when she opened up her lungs to breathe, they spasmed and choked.

Everything hurt.

But pain was good, as Ma used to say. Pain was proof of life.

“You and me, we’re like the first moon landing.”

Maggie ran through the rest of Ma’s wisdom. She flexed her toes in her boots. Fingers in her gloves. Gingerly tensed her neck, and roll—

She stopped dead at the wave of intense nausea and took a moment to just breathe through her nose. Don’t be sick. Don’t be sick. When her stomach eased from a violent jerking to a sluggish, sinister churn, she carefully eased her hips and chest over, perfectly in line with one another, and eased into a recovery position on the metal grating.

The grating.

Urgh, no wonder she hurt. She’d been in the pilot’s seat when the asteroid—or whatever it was—had hit. And belted in too.

“You’ll touch down to feel a little rough ground…”

Her lungs still didn’t want to breathe. The band around her diaphragm was only getting tighter. There was nothing else for it—she needed the drugs. And her medical kit was in the top drawer under the console, so she’d have to get up. Sooner rather than later.

Maggie reached up with her left arm. It was like moving through water or sludge, and her body felt almost drunk on the chaos of clamouring nerves all bidding for her attention first. She didn’t dare open her eyes just yet, so groped blindly above her head. She found the bunk frame. Hell. She’d been thrown from the pilot’s chair to the gap under the bunk, and she was still alive to know it. Suddenly, the pain didn’t seem so bad. Better than a broken neck.

“Pain is proof of life.”

She grunted and turned her boots towards the wall. Braced her feet there and swallowed against the vomit rising up through her chest and neck.

“Pain. Proof.”

She pushed.

The sound of her body sliding out from under the bunk was like a landslide off Mount Olympus. The nausea won out, and Maggie shoved herself up on shaking hands just in time to throw up a gutful of stringy, pink-tinged bile onto the grating. Her stomach punched into her diaphragm like a living thing, furious and intent on revenge, and her head burst like a firework.

“—I’m…here…”

The next thing she knew, the smell of sick was in her hair and nose, and there was a damp patch on her cheek.

“Fuck,” Maggie hissed and pushed away from the pool.

The blackout must have been a little while. The pain was worse, but the puddle of sick cold. The fog in her head had eased a little. She could think better. And breathe better too—mostly.

“Get it together,” she muttered and cracked open her eyes.

It was dark. Blissfully, soothingly dark. The emergency lighting was a low blur of soft blue, almost comfortable, like a hot-water bottle on cold winter nights. Maggie fought to control her quivering limbs and sat down on the bunk with a thump. It jarred, a shock of pain bouncing up her spine, and she leaned forward, opening her mouth, and spat another mouthful of pink vomit into the gap between her boots.

“And you’re out looking for worlds unseen.”

First things first.

She was injured. That much was obvious. But no broken limbs or ribs. There might be an internal bleed in her stomach, but if there was, there wasn’t anything Maggie could do about it. Her head felt like a mess though. Gingerly, she reached up and patted her hair. She had shaved her head when she’d gotten her first shutter job, and never grown it out to more than an inch or two of tight, springy curls since. Which made it easy to find the savage cut, the knotted wad of wet hair keeping a lid on it, and the near-dry fountain of blood that had gushed down the back of her neck and shoulders.

“Great,” she muttered, but at least it explained the pain. Her skull felt intact. Lucky, if she’d met the bulkhead head first.

Her neck was stiffening rapidly. Whiplash. A starburst of pain kept reappearing in her shoulder joint—she’d probably briefly dislocated it when the belt had snapped and flung her across the cockpit—and she could feel, even if she couldn’t see, the violent bruising all across her right side. But just bruises. A bit of bleeding. Nothing that wouldn’t fix itself, given enough time.

All in all, she’d live. Probably.

“You and me, we’re like the first moon landing.”

So, on to the second point. Would her ship live?

Maggie was a shutter. The space equivalent to long-haul truck drivers. She piloted single-crewed transport and haulage ships between stations and colonies, on the move for weeks at a time—but at least the antisocial lifestyle attracted good pay, especially for someone without the proper papers like Maggie. She only had a B license, so she wasn’t qualified to land on moons and planets yet, but she’d done her theory and was booked in for her tests on Barrane when she got back from this run. It was a lonely but very well-paid job—and lonely and well-paid was just what Maggie had wanted when she’d applied in the first place.

But lonely in space could be fatal.

Especially lonely in space on a shortcut.

If the ship was damaged beyond her ability to repair it, or she couldn’t get back to the proper trade route, then she would die out here. The delivery wasn’t due for another two months. And she’d been taking a shortcut through uncharted territory to make it in time after having to replace two of the solar batteries at Barrane. One more late delivery and Maggie would be fired. And she was a good pilot. She’d been flying for years on her own without any incidents at all. She could handle a measly shortcut, right?

Apparently not.

Right now, going on the credit seemed like a much better idea than this stupid shortcut. Maggie had been regretting it from that first crackling comms call.

“You’ll touch down to feel a little rough ground…”

She squinted across the cockpit at her pilot’s chair. The top half of the belt was still attached, the bottom half missing. The chair was crooked, but upright. All the lights on the console were flashing in random patterns, and the viewscreen was out. The comms system was blinking, waiting for her reply.

Most insultingly, the fluffy dice Sam had bought her as a joke when she’d gotten her license were gone.

“Fix it. Fix it, then find the dice.”

She lurched up from the bed.

The grating spun underneath her. The cockpit was barely ten feet of space between bunk and chair, but she fell most of it. She caught at the chair with both hands, and her knees collapsed as the whiplash reminded her that falling in any way was an intolerably bad idea.

When she managed to open her eyes again, a red mist clouded her vision, and the sharp taste of iron lingered on her tongue. Her chest tightened, and the black spots of panic and oxygen deprivation clustered around the edges of her eyes.

The drawer was right there.

“…but I’m right here where I’ve always been…”

She dropped into the chair just as her fingers closed around the plastic tube on top of her medical kit, and that first spray in her mouth and throat tasted like foul ambrosia. At the second, she aspirated it properly and felt her chest beginning to open up again.

“…and you’re out looking for—”

With a smirk, Maggie cancelled the stereo. Silence swept in, as soothing as the low light. Trust the damn stereo to keep playing even through—whatever that had been.

Purchase

NineStar Press | Amazon | Smashwords | Barnes & Noble | Kobo

Meet the Author

Matthew J. Metzger is an ace, trans author posing as a functional human being in the wilds of Yorkshire, England. Although mainly a writer of contemporary, working-class romance, he also strays into fantasy when the mood strikes. Whatever the genre, the focus is inevitably on queer characters and their relationships, be they familial, platonic, sexual, or romantic.

When not crunching numbers at his day job, or writing books by night, Matthew can be found tweeting from the gym, being used as a pillow by his cat, or trying to keep his website in some semblance of order. You can find Matthew on Twitter.

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Guest Review: The Other Man (Starting Over #2) by Matthew J. Metzger

He’s never minded the other men—except for this one.


Aled’s jealous, and he doesn’t like it.

He’s always had an open relationship with Gabriel and it was working fine—until he saw those messages from Michael. Now Aled can’t get the tone out of his head, and the nagging feeling that Gabriel deserves better than a man like that.

But Gabriel only gives Aled control during their games and is wary of giving too much to a dominant boyfriend with a distinct sadistic streak. Outside the bedroom, Aled has to tread much more carefully if he wants to keep what they have.

Can he persuade Gabriel to part ways with the creepiest man Aled’s ever met, or will the dominant have to learn when to submit?






Reviewer: Shee Reader


Okay, so I must preface this review by saying I adore Matthew’s writing. His crafting of totally relatable imperfect human beings is breathtakingly powerful, and funny, and clever.

However, I found this story really hard to get into. I think that has much more to do with the fact that I have zero experience with open or poly relationships than to do with Matthew’s writing or story line. I found it hard to empathise with the protagonists, but I still cared about them and was invested in the development of their relationship.

The dialogue is often so achingly realistic that I did get swept along and was super engaged the happy ending for the guys. The story is so gritty yet at some times funny, it was a huge development arc, particularly for Aled.
I heartily recommend it!

I was given a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.




Release Blitz + Giveaway: Coffee (A Cup of John #2) by Matthew J. Metzger


Coffee (A Cup of John #2) is out from NineStar Press! Celebrate with Matthew J. Metzger and IndiGo Marketing! Learn more about the latest in the series and enter in the $10 NSP credit giveaway!


Title: Coffee
Series: A Cup of John, Book Two
Author: Matthew J. Metzger
Publisher: NineStar Press
Release Date: August 19. 2019
Heat Level: 3 - Some Sex
Pairing: Male/Male
Length: 69100
Genre: Contemporary, LGBT, contemporary, British, trans, gay, queer, age gap, established couple, size difference, blue collar, disability, ableism, death and grieving, family issues, dirty talk, wedding, ownvoices

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Synopsis

When Chris’s stepfather passes away and leaves Chris a house and a wedding ring, it seems like the perfect opportunity to take the next step in his relationship with John.

So, they’re both in for a nasty shock when Chris’s mother is vehemently opposed to the idea. Despite three years of history to prove otherwise, she insists that John is only a temporary feature in Chris’s life, and a man like him can’t be expected to stay with someone like Chris in the long run.

Can Chris persuade her that she’s wrong in time for the wedding—or will there be an empty space in the photographs?

Excerpt

Coffee
Matthew J. Metzger © 2019
All Rights Reserved

Rather appropriately for the occasion, it had been raining all day.

Chris took in a deep lungful of smoke and exhaled it smoothly into the chilly afternoon. The memorial garden was blissful after the hustle and bustle of the funeral. The air was open and soothingly cool, not like the stuffy heat of the chapel. He could breathe again. He could gather the shards of grief around himself and try to put them back together, without having to think about his mother’s sobbing at his side, or the favourite song that had been played for Jack’s last journey, a song now stained with sadness.

The gentle patter of raindrops on the umbrella calmed him, and the far-off chirping of some irate bird provided a gentle counterpoint. Life slowed. From farther off, the chattering of friends and relations had finally died away, and Chris stubbed out the remains of the cigarette as he heard the crunch of gravel.

He’d never been here before, but the footsteps coming down the path were as familiar as his own. Thunderously heavy, an immense weight crushing each step into the ground even as the pace was slow and steady. That slight stress on one step, followed by lightness on the other. That dodgy knee from the rugby accident last year had left its mark in the form of a subtle limp and a tiny scar like a fish hook that made its owner go all shivery when Chris kissed it. Even the speed with which each step followed the other was familiar, like the tower of a body might collapse if the feet were spread too far apart. The hands that clasped Chris’s shoulders were as big as spades, and only one person in his life was tall enough to kiss the crown of his head without the use of a box to stand on.

Chris leaned back into the wall of a man who had arrived and lifted the umbrella to let him into the shelter.

“Your mum’s gone home with Lauren.”

The relief was bittersweet. Mum and Lauren had always gotten along, despite one being Dad’s ex-wife and one being Dad’s girlfriend. Lauren would look after her—even if it was Chris’s job. Even if he was supposed to.

“You did great.”

Chris swallowed thickly. “I think it’s just sunk in.”

It hadn’t been real. It had taken so long that it had never quite felt real until this moment.

Jack had died a long, slow, terrible death. Weeks in the hospice. Chris would never forget the gargling way his stepfather had breathed near the end, or the clammy coolness of his skin. The way Mum had cried, soft little sniffles at the corner of the bed on that final day. The gaps between the gurgles, until finally there had been nothing but the eeriest silence. The shaking in his fingertips was over.

Everything was over. The smell of cigar smoke on the tenth of March, the one day of the year Jack lit up. The shuffle of his slippers. The whirr of that deathtrap of a stairlift. The croaking way he’d chuckled, a noise that in a bigger man would have been a belly laugh. The little huff he let out when Mum was in one of her moods, followed up hastily with “Yes, dear, of course…” And Chris had never seen it, but he’d known Jack had flashed him little smirks across the table at such moments, conspiratorial understandings between the two men who were most subject to her fussing and flapping, the two men who loved her most. Gone.

“Jack’s gone.”

“I know.” The words were soft but firm. The hands on his shoulders rubbed down to his elbows and then back up in a long, smooth stroke. “But so is the pain and the suffering. He’s not hurting anymore. And if he was right, then he gets to see his daughter again now.”

Chris coughed a shaky laugh. It bubbled out of his ribs like water overflowing. “No such thing as heaven.”

“You never know.”

Chris sighed and leaned his head back. He closed his eyes and hummed as a kiss was pressed into his temple.

“I should go and see Mum,” he said.

But his chest ached. His ribs felt like they were going to cave in, and a red-hot pain followed the scar, as if he’d been wrapped in metal wire, melting against his skin. He hurt.

“I want to go home.”

The hands pulled. He was turned by the shoulders and drawn into a rain-damp embrace. The arms around his back made the pain worse, but Chris clung and burrowed into the embrace anyway. The kiss on the top of his head slotted two of the jagged edges together and sealed them shut again. The grief ebbed a fraction.

“Come on, then. Let’s go home.”

Purchase

NineStar Press | Amazon | Smashwords | Barnes & Noble | Kobo


Meet the Author

Matthew J. Metzger is an ace, trans author posing as a functional human being in the wilds of Yorkshire, England. Although mainly a writer of contemporary, working-class romance, he also strays into fantasy when the mood strikes. Whatever the genre, the focus is inevitably on queer characters and their relationships, be they familial, platonic, sexual, or romantic.

When not crunching numbers at his day job, or writing books by night, Matthew can be found tweeting from the gym, being used as a pillow by his cat, or trying to keep his website in some semblance of order.

Website | Twitter

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Review: Bump by Matthew J. Metzger

David’s pregnant.

He’s always wanted to have children, and being a stepfather for the past two years has been a great adventure. There’d even been a plan to start looking into adoption and turn their family of three into four.

But now there’s a bump, and David doesn’t know what to do. He’s spent years escaping the grip of his own body and burying the past—but there’s no way he can hide from his history if he lets the bump get any bigger. It’s not just his baby; it’s also his breakdown.

He doesn’t know if he can do this.





This is the second book I’ve read by Matthew J. Metzger and I really enjoy his writing style, his character development and world building.

This story, told from David’s POV, took me on a complicated and sometimes messy journey into his relationship with his family, his discomfort with his situation and the dark thoughts that accompanied his dysphoria as he dealt with his unexpected pregnancy.

His relationship with Ryan was solid and warm, sometimes the only thing holding him together. I enjoyed their dynamic, and the dynamic they had with Ryan’s daughter Ava.

Their relationship was loving, Ryan was completely supportive of what David chose, and was there when he needed him. We all need a Ryan when things get rough and I’m glad David had the support he needed, even when it was just barely enough.

This was a memorable read, and I’m glad it’s out there for the world to enjoy. I recommend this to everyone who loves established couples in their romance.

A review copy was provided for an honest opinion.


Release Blitz + Giveaway: Tea (A Cup of John #1) by Matthew J. Metzger


IndiGo Marketing and author Matthew J. Metzger promote his latest, Tea (A Cup of John #1)! Learn more today and enter in the $10 NineStar Press credit giveaway!

Title: Tea
Series: A Cup of John, Book One
Author: Matthew J. Metzger
Publisher: NineStar Press
Release Date: January 7, 2019
Heat Level: 3 - Some Sex
Pairing: Male/Male
Length: 76800
Genre: Contemporary, contemporary, British, trans, gay, age gap, blue collar, disability, ableism, body dysphoria, PTSD/mental abuse/self-image issues, family issues, #ownvoices

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Synopsis

John only went into the cafe to have a brew and wait out the storm. He didn’t expect to find love at the same time.

And it really is love at first sight. Chris is like nobody John’s ever known, and John is caught from the start. All he wants, from that very first touch, is to never let go. But John is badly burned from his last relationship and in no fit state to try again. When Chris asks him out, he ought to say no.

But what if he says yes instead?

Excerpt

Tea
Matthew J. Metzger © 2019
All Rights Reserved

Chapter One
“Fark this,” Rhodri said, “fer the ace o’ farking spades.”

John grunted, busy watching a Facebook slanging match unfolding on his phone. It had started to snow, which—despite Sheffield getting snow on a regular basis in the winter—ensured everyone promptly forgot how cars worked.

A fact that Rhodri backed up by leaning out of the van window and bellowing, “Who taught yer to farking drive, yer daft cunt!” at a middle-aged man in a BMW.

John snorted, grinning, and squinted out of the slush-smeared windscreen. They were nearly at the high street.

“I can walk from here,” he said. “Turn around and use the ring road, if you don’t want to be here all night.”

“Fark the ring road,” Rhodri grumbled in his thick, garbled accent. “It’ll fark the suspension.”

“You mean it’s not already?”

Rhodri snarled a defence of his beloved, twenty-year-old death trap of a van, but John firmly stuck by his assertion as the rust bucket was hauled over to the side of the road, and the handbrake screeched like a banshee in an opera house.

“Monday for the renovation?” John asked as he curled his coat collar up.

“Yeah. Gazzer’s looking fer a spring sale.”

“Have a good weekend, then.”

“Fark off.”

John grinned and slammed the passenger door on the pseudo-affectionate dismissal. The day Rhodri Campbell started talking nice to his friends was the day hell froze over.

Mind you, John thought, squinting at the black sky, that might not be too far off.

He was supposed to meet his older sister for dinner, but she’d be at least another hour. Grimacing at the weather, John decided to find a café and settle in to wait out the snowstorm. Hunching his shoulders, he broke into a jog, aiming for the first sign he saw, and soon shouldered his massive bulk through the glass door of a tiny, heavenly warm coffee shop.

It was busy inside. Everyone else had had the same idea. The floor was crowded with shopping bags, a buggy thoroughly blocking one aisle. John’s absurd size earned him some dirty looks that were hastily wiped away when he glanced back. Even the barista, when he asked for a large tea, sighed and popped her gum like it would be an enormous bother to cover her wide-eyed stare. The prickle of unease rose under his skin, and he forced it back down.

“Keep the change,” John told her as he handed over three pounds and folded his arms to wait, knowing that—even in Sheffield—a man with biceps like the steel ropes on a suspension bridge was not going to be left waiting for long. Especially if he folded his arms.

That was when he messed up.

He stepped back to glance around for a table, and in doing so, bumped the one directly behind him. A cup banged. Someone swore. And John felt the hot flush of shame flood his face, even as he spun on his heel to try to fix the damage.

“I’m so sorry. I—”

“It’s all right. I think it missed me.”

“Here, let me get you another—what was it?”

And then the man looked up from patting down his jeans and T-shirt with a napkin and smiled right into John’s face.

And John just stopped.

Staring.

The way the man smiled was…breathtaking. Literally. The air caught in John’s chest, his lungs seizing for a brief moment, when a crooked smile spread across narrow features, creasing a pale face from good-looking into gorgeous. It was like the sun bursting over a still sea, like the car dashboard when the ignition was first turned in the dark. A sudden spark lit behind an attractive face to make it utterly beautiful, and John stared.

The stranger was tall and lean, with a halo of messy black curls that surrounded his face and threw the ethereal beauty of that smile into sharp relief. The smile itself was formed out of the most ridiculously kissable mouth John had ever seen. And the face. God. It blazed with the brilliance of that beam, and above it lay the burn of eyes the colour of an endless summer sky.

Damn.

“A mocha with peppermint and a double shot of espresso.”

“A…what?” John asked, still staring stupidly.

The man chuckled, and John died. His soul ascended into heaven on the back of that sound. Jesus. Holy goddamned Jesus.

“Just ask for Chris’s regular.”

“T-that’s you, then?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Um. John. Nice to—nice to meet you.”

The touch of his hand was like a cattle prod. John felt it all the way up to his brain, and the most inappropriate parts of his brain too. He had to learn how to breathe again. His heart was pounding. He wanted—desperately, stupidly, urgently—to reel Chris in and kiss him as if they were the only two people in the room.

He didn’t.

Obviously.

He let go and ducked back into line to ask for the guy’s regular. Tipped double. And when he took it back to the table, John knew for his own sanity and safety he should apologise once more, take his tea, and go.

Instead, he said, “Mind if I join you?” and instantly hated himself for it.

And then didn’t, when Chris smiled a little wider and said, “Please.”

“I am sorry about that. I’m not usually that clumsy.”

“Just an accident. It sounds busy in here.”

“It…is,” John said slowly and frowned.

Then it clicked. That brilliant blue was as vacant as a summer sky too. And he’d never once looked John quite in the eyes. John glanced about. There was a cane leaning up against the table. A glint of a gold medical bracelet around one thin wrist. And the way Chris slid his hand across the table, heels together and fingers spread, until he found the coffee cup…

“Are you sheltering from the weather too?”

“Uh, yeah,” John said, snapping out of his reverie. “It’s snowing. I’m supposed to meet my sister for dinner later, but I’m stupidly early, so…here I am.”

“Lucky me.”

John blinked.

“What?”

“Sorry, sorry.” Chris waved a hand. “Ignore me. Big important family dinner, is it?”

“No, not really. She probably just wants to have a whine about our mum. Mum’s—well, Mum.”

“Let’s pretend for a minute I don’t know your mum…”

John chuckled, ducking his head. “Mum’s…she loves us, she wants the best for us, but her best and our best doesn’t always mesh, you know?”

“Ah, one of those. Yes, I know.” Chris raised his cup in a saluting gesture. “To parents running interference.”

“She’s very practical,” John said. “Very—you know, we ought to all marry well-off, well-educated folks with careers and good ankles. And Nora—my sister—she’s cocked that up a bit.” Then he winced at his crass phrasing and started to apologise.

Chris talked right over it. “Cocked it up how?”

“Well, she’s currently divorcing her well-off, well-educated, well-ankled husband for a bloke who makes sandwiches.”

Chris snorted and laughed. The coffee cup wobbled dangerously before he set it down to put a hand over his mouth and laugh a little harder, and John curled his toes in his boots. A warm flush spread from head to toe. God, he wanted to touch that. Wanted to reach out and curl his fist into that wild hair and kiss him like the world was ending.

John wanted him.

“Well,” Chris said when he’d recovered, “if your sister has a voice anything like yours, then that’s the luckiest sandwich man in the world.”

“Uh—”

“What about you? Ditching your missus for the maid?”

John’s stomach twinged. “There’s no missus.”

“Or mister?”

What?

“I—no.”

“Sorry,” Chris said again. “I guess I’m being a little too hopeful.”

Hopeful? What?

“I—are you…flirting with me?”

“Yes.” Chris raised both eyebrows. “Don’t tell me that doesn’t happen often.”

“Well…it’s been a while,” John admitted. “And not usually in coffee shops.” Or from men. John wasn’t exactly good-looking, and in his experience, it was mostly women who were into the huge and hulking thing rather than men.

“Where does it usually happen? I could always try doing it there, if you like.”

John barked a startled laugh. “Er—well—clubs. Here’s—here’s nice though. Here’s fine.”

“I refuse to believe it doesn’t happen often.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Really? Hm. Local clubbers need to open their ears, then.”

“I—thank you?”

“I’m making you uncomfortab—”

“No,” John interrupted quickly. “I just—I’m…not used to this.”

Chris turned the coffee cup around in his hands, biting his lip.

“You sounded…I don’t know. You sounded like you saw something you liked. And I felt something when you shook my hand.”

“You…you don’t want to be trying me out,” John said carefully.

Chris smiled.

It wasn’t the bright, beautiful smile. It was a slow smirk, devious and dirty. And John’s cock swelled fiercely in his jeans. His dick didn’t care about Daniel and his damage. His dick just wanted to have that incredible body around it, and to hell with the risks. Oh, God. That was a dirty trick, and judging by the way Chris lounged in his chair, pure sex, he knew it.

“You have a voice,” Chris said, “like the hot afterburn of whiskey.”

“I—”

“Smooth, liquid, and so easy to bask in. Like being drunk and not caring.”

John swallowed again. He was half hard. Chris spoke so slow and soft, so very deliberately, that it was turning him on even though he wasn’t saying anything filthy at all.

“I’m a dumb idea,” John croaked.

“So am I.”

John wanted to look away. But he felt incapable of not looking. He was spellbound, completely captured by this stranger’s wide smile and fluttering hands. They were large hands, but thin. John wanted to call them spidery. Long fingers, but narrow palmed. He wondered wildly what they felt like. John’s hand were rough from his trade, but Chris had a completely smooth paleness to his skin tone, and his face was impossibly young, not weather-beaten and wind burnt. His hands, John decided, would be just as smooth. They would be cool, too, like refreshing water against John’s calluses.

And then they slid over the table and hooked casually over John’s thumb.

John’s heart hiccuped and clenched again, and the flood of pure want was so powerful that his vision flexed, like a fisheye lens homing in on this stunning man. He wanted to kiss him, hold his hand, say yes, something. And yet he felt paralysed—moths to flames, deer to headlights, whatever. He was caught.

“If you’re really not interested, then that’s fine,” Chris said. “But—”

“That’s definitely not it,” John muttered.

“So—you want to get dinner sometime?”

The smile softened into something sweeter. More hopeful. More—

John’s dick softened. Because his heart tightened, his stomach clenched, and his throat opened.

He should say no.

He was still a mess from Daniel, still wounded after nine whole months, still unable to so much as flirt on Grindr without questioning himself, his motives, how he came off. There was no way this was a good idea. Not with anyone, and least of all this brilliant, beautiful, blind guy.

After all, if Daniel were right—

If Daniel were right, if there had been any truth in the things he’d said, then John was the last person who should be going out to dinner with a blind man.

John should have said no.

But he said yes instead.

Purchase

NineStar Press | Amazon | Smashwords | Barnes & Noble

Meet the Author

Matthew J. Metzger is an ace, trans author posing as a functional human being in the wilds of Yorkshire, England. Although mainly a writer of contemporary, working-class romance, he also strays into fantasy when the mood strikes. Whatever the genre, the focus is inevitably on queer characters and their relationships, be they familial, platonic, sexual, or romantic.

When not crunching numbers at his day job, or writing books by night, Matthew can be found tweeting from the gym, being used as a pillow by his cat, or trying to keep his website in some semblance of order.

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Guest Review: Life Underwater By Matthew J. Metzger

Ashraf never thought he could fall in love. So when he falls hard and fast for marine biologist Jamie Singer, it’s a shock to the system—in more ways than one.

Even if he can wrap his head around what love is and how relationships work, Ashraf’s not sure this is viable. He’s hydrophobic. And Jamie’s entire world revolves around the sea. What’s the point of trying if so much of Jamie’s life is inaccessible to Ashraf?

But Ashraf has vastly underestimated the pull of loving Jamie. For the first time, he wants to face the water, rather than flee from it. He has underestimated the power of love in making people brave, stupid, or a little bit of both.

Maybe it’s time to take a leap—and sink or swim.







Reviewer: Shee Reader

Oh my gosh, how much did I love this book?? I read it twice. That’s right, twice in three days. I freaking LOVED it.

What can I tell you without spoiling the story?

Well, it is beautifully written, is sharply observant, has delightful genuine dialogue and is sweet and lovely and wonderful.

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Ashraf is asexual and aromantic, but he has fallen in love with a clever, fun and funny person who is so exuberant they leap off the page! Jamie is a marine Biologist studying for their PhD. Ashraf is a lecturer who is older, browner and more Muslim than Jamie, but love is real despite other people’s prejudices. Ashraf wants to confront his fear of water which stems from childhood trauma, since Jamie’s life is all about the sea. There are so many wonderful things I could say about this story, for example, Ashraf going home with Jamie for Christmas to their outrageous Scottish matriarchal family who are all hilarious. But the best thing I can say is, you should read this book, maybe even twice.

Highly recommended.

I received a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.


Tag Team Review: Big Man by Matthew J. Metzger

Max Farrier wanted to follow in the family footsteps and join the Navy once, but he’s better off focusing on just surviving his last year of school and going to work in Aunt Donna’s shop once it’s over.

After an incident at school puts Max in the hospital, Aunt Donna’s had enough. She signs him up for private lessons at a Muay Thai gym. Boxing—she says—will change everything.

But it’s not boxing that starts to poke holes in Max’s stupor—it’s his sparring partner. Cian is fifty percent mouth, fifty percent attitude, and isn’t afraid to go toe-to-toe with a bully in the street. Cian takes what he wants, and doesn’t let anyone stand in his way—not even himself.



4.75 Average

Sara - 5 Hearts

I am warning you now, this is going to be a ramble of epic redhead proportions. This book was so much more than I thought I was getting and I am head over heels in love with Max, Cian and Matthew Metzger for giving me their story.

From the blurb, one could assume this book would be nothing but the self-hate of an overweight boy who is bullied and made happy by losing weight and that would be dead wrong. This book is so much more than that because while all of that; the self-hate, bullying and happiness is found in the book, it only scratches the surface of a truly profound read of finding yourself and loving yourself enough to love another person.

There will always be people who want to stomp on you. They don’t care if you have the right to go about your life how you like; they don’t care if you’ve ever done anything to them—they just find it funny. There will always be those people. And the best way of warding them off is letting them know you’re not a victim, that picking on you is going to end very badly for them.”
The book opens with a violent encounter between Max Farrier and the boys who bully him. It’s violent and made me sick to my stomach with what they do to Max that ends him in the hospital. We know, as the story is told from Max’s POV, that this happens regardless of the school he goes to, that he can’t out run what people see and do to him but Max is lucky he has a carrying Aunt Donna who knows he deserves better. Now I admit I didn’t like Aunt Donna when she first came on the page. I am not a fan of violence in anyway and her theory of Max learning martial arts to protect himself was all fine and dandy but my original introduction to her didn’t sit well. That is until she told Max about being attacked for being a lesbian and then it made sense. She doesn’t want Max to be violent, she wants Max to learn a skill to yes be able to protect himself but also to build his confidence enough to stand up for himself. So after that and through the rest of the book, I adored Aunt Donna and what she has done for Max and his mom. Oh yeah, Aunt Donna isn’t really his aunt, she is the fiancé of his mother, the Aunt title just fit when they became a family and it’s stuck.

I was excited that Max would be learning Muay Thai. I love the sport – via my crush on Gina Carano – and have always wanted to take it up at the local gym in my town but I have always been afraid to walk in looking like an idiot who has zero coordination. You see, there is a lot of Max in this book that spoke to me. I’ll just get this out there now, I was that fat girl in school. The one everyone made fun of, pushed around, never picked for a team until I was the only choice left, the one picked on ruthlessly by the girls in the locker room when I pulled my too small shirts over my knees to stretch them out so they didn’t cling to my stomach rolls. The girl that was called Thunder Thighs and told my ass was so big it could be sat on like a shelf by the boy I once had a crush on. The girl whose mother would give her a piece of Big Red gum before she left for school in the morning, telling her that if she chewed that all day maybe she wouldn’t eat and could lose weight. The girl whose nickname in her family was “Fatty” and was put on a coffee diet in Kindergarten by one of her sisters because I was too fat and embarrassed her when she had to watch me. There are so many instances I can think of as a young girl and into adulthood and while I may have lost weight, I am still that fat girl. The weight loss didn’t take away the identity of that girl who was told for so long she was unattractive, unwanted and unlovable because her knees were fat. That doesn’t go away and yeah, it causes issues in my life even at almost 41 years of age but the self-hate talk, I try to tame it. Try being the operative word but it doesn’t always work. So Max, I get him being the fat kid in school but Max has an advantage, people who love him and want nothing more for him to be happy…no matter his size.
It seemed too easy. Too Simple. Was a new boyfriend and a hobby all it took to be someone other than Fatso Farrier?
So back to Aunt Donna. Donna signs Max up for private lessons at the gym to learn Muay Thai and Max must stick it out for 16 weeks or Aunt Donna won’t let him be her apprentice. On that first day, Max meets his partner Cian, who he believes at first sight to be a girl. Cian opens feelings within Max that he believes are beyond his grasp. But he still likes the sight of Cian and being partnered even though that first workout kicks his ass. I know what those workouts feel like. I have recently joined a gym which focuses on endurance events so I know that feeling of DOMs when it sets in and how you feel like dying so I was so damn proud of Max getting up and going again and again. Sure, he has the lure of Cian to pull him in and I adored so, so, so much that when Max is set straight about Cian, when Cian tells him he is a boy, Max decides he totally okay with still fancying Cian because well he’s Cian.

Cian. Wow. What an amazing boy to meet and read. Cian is this strong character that challenges Max every step of the way. He makes Max see what is in front of him even if that means looking down to see his ankles, because Cian is supportive and in his own way, on a journey of self-acceptance just like Max. With Max, it’s about his weight and being able to stand up to the boys that bully him and Cian, he’s a bit more complicated and I fell hard for him with his “layout” struggle and how it all makes him feel.
“If I can’t be brave with you, I might never be.”
This book takes you on a journey of these two young adults and doesn’t hold back when dealing with their issues. Max doesn’t set out to lose weight by going to the gym but it’s a byproduct of his hard work and dedication. His story is not saying goodbye to being “Fatso Farrier”, but owning the name and turning into something he uses for himself and lets it breathe a new life. Words can hurt, they can leave terrible damage when used as weapons but when we take those words and take ownership of them, they become ours and names like Fatso Farrier become an empowerment and not contempt. Really, this isn’t about Max losing weight so much as about Max becoming an athlete and building the confidence to trust his instinct. That instinct is important with Cian and with the boys that bully him but when it comes to Cian…

Gah! These two were adorable and I loved the way they came together. All the teasing while going through their private workouts together and the friendship they begin before the romance comes into play. For two young adults these two had excellent communication and that made a huge difference. It was amazing that Max could ask Cian questions about being transgender and Cian was open to it, even if he had his limits on Max staring. The exploration of sexuality between Max and Cian was stunningly gorgeous and so respectful and yet, so on point for a couple beginning a relationship. Yup, even at this age it was perfect and they really brought out the best in their partner.
He could feel Cian. Not the girl, not the boy, not the passage between the two. Just Cian. He wanted to feel that everywhere, all of the time.
I have written so much already and haven’t even said anything about Max and his desire to join the Navy and be an officer like his late father and the Farrier men before him. Max lost his father when he was three and the male figure in his life was his grandpa who has passed now as well. I felt for Max because once again we have something in common. Where Max used to build models with his grandpa and hasn’t since he died, I used to read and discuss Stephen King books with my late father and haven’t touch a single one in the 20+ years since he’s been gone. Max has so much more to deal with than just his weight but just like anyone, we are so much more than what is seen on the outside.

This book! Wow. I cried at least a dozen times with moments that were so profound, there was no other way to react. I cheered for Max with every step that takes him closer to being the Big Man he can be and yeah, that title, it has a meaning that is at least threefold to the story and not just about what Max weighs. I loved the stories of his father and how Cian calls him Big Man… sigh.
That epilogue made me grin like a fool and made me have a minute or ten with my Nook to hug it out.

Again, this book was so much more than I thought I would be getting and just know, Max and Cian stunning, brave, strong and so fucking adorable.

This was so good.

So good.

Fantasy Living - 4.5 Hearts

Max is incredibly uncomfortable living in his skin, and has reached a place in his high school life where depression and anxiety have kicked in. He is a victim of school bullying, his perpetrators becoming more physically violent, and relentless. There doesn’t appear to be any action from the school, and he has decided that rather than continue being attacked, he’ll finish off the year and do an apprenticeship instead of two more years of torture.

After a particularly vicious attack, his step-mum takes the approach of him needing self-defence, now a requirement of him getting an apprenticeship with her, and books him in for private lessons with a Muay Thai coach. This is where he meets Cian.

A lot of this story is difficult. Self-loathing is at the heart of Max’s internal dialogue. It is loud and disturbing. It is painful to read. Cian appears to be the only bright spot in Max’s life in the beginning, and even he can’t silence the awful things Max thinks about himself for much of the story.

This is told entirely from Max’s point of view, but there is plenty of Cian, and I felt I knew him well through Max. I liked the way Max’s confidence started building through learning Muay Thai and being challenged by Cian. While getting to know each other, Max seemed to really develop and see the world a little differently. It was gradual, but it was very clear. There were some mishaps, some setbacks, but overall Max started to come out of his shell more and show Cian who he is as a person.

I really appreciated this book. It was raw and unfiltered. It hurt at times to read. I don’t think this will be for everyone. There is violence, bullying, verbal abuse, misgendering and fat shaming. There is also a lot of beauty and joy between Max and Cian. I really appreciate the author’s raw portrayal of some really difficult topics, in a well written story that took me on a journey I wasn’t expecting. I’m happy these two found each other, and that Max was able to shine in a way that made me believe he would be okay.

A review copy was provided for an honest opinion.

Review: Sex in C Major by Matthew J. Metzger

Stefan has ... fantasies.

He knows chasing those fantasies is only going to end in disaster, but he can't seem to stop his self-destructive spiral. He’s a transgender man struggling to come to terms with the intersection of his identity and his sexual fantasies as a submissive. He needs someone to take control before he loses it completely.

Daz can take control. He can teach Stefan everything there is to know about sex and submission, but for some reason, he can't get inside Stefan's head. Daz can stop Stefan’s self-destruction but not the fear that fuels it.

Stefan needs to know who he is before he can accept what he is. And it's Yannis -- Daz's aromantic, asexual, stern, and sarcastic partner -- who has the answer.




I'm not going to rate this mostly because I don't know how to as it defies the rating scale. It's not particularly "likable" nor is it a romance in the traditional sense. Were there a disturbing rating scale this would blow the lid off that, because Sex in C Major is truly disturbing on multiple levels. I'm guessing that lingering feeling of unease was the objective, though.

Stefan narrates this story and gives us an inside look at his struggles with gender dysphoria, depression and coming to terms with his desires. Shunned by his family when he came out as trans, he's now living off the government in a shithole apartment, has no friends, no job and spends a lot of time drunk or high futilely searching the interwebs for someone to fulfill his fantasies.

One drunken night he comes across Daz, word vomits his darkest secrets, one thing leads to another and he winds up Daz's slave. The BDSM content is extreme (humiliation, breath play, force play, bondage, sensory deprivation, biting, face fucking, chastity, orgasm denial, sharing and some blood play) and for the most part I had no issues with it. Sure, some scenes squicked me but it was mostly in regards to hygiene. That alley scene... *shudders* GAWDDAMN! Suffice to say, most of the kink fell outside of what appeals to me. However this was my most successful experience with objectification which is saying a lot because that is a hard limit for me.

In many ways Daz is his savior and their power exchange brings with it dependency which was difficult for me for two reasons: (a) there's no romantic connection between them, and (b) there's an uncomfortable level of BDSM being used as a cure for mental illness.

Sex in C Major is heavy on the sex, especially in the beginning. The sex is typically painful, leaving Stefan bleeding usually and always bareback. I don't have a problem with barebacking but when you're sharing your toy I would've thought a conversation to be a prudent idea. Make no mistake, Stefan delights in all of this. Until it's over. This is where things started to get sticky for me.

As I said, the kink wasn't problematic so much as the person engaging in the kink. Stefan's relationship to kink is toxic. His relationship with himself is toxic. His relationship with his own body is toxic. He's got impulse control issues, engages in self-harm and oftentimes feels suicidal, thereby making it impossible to have a "healthy" relationship with a master/dom. As troubling as I found this there is an authenticity and genuineness that Metzger brings to Stefan that makes him credible and sympathetic. Even though I didn't particularly like reading this book that doesn't negate the phenomenal job Metzger did showing the underbelly of a character who is in the muck, lost and on the razor's edge of winding up six feet under. However, there was something I found hard to swallow and borderline offensive and that was his fixation on "men" not being submissive, not wanting to be used, etc. For argument's sake let's say I believe that he only watches straight porn. If you're inclinations are kinky chances are you're going to watch kinky porn, right? Kinky straight porn is still going to net you domme/slave/sub porn which is rife with humiliation and pain, so this plot device rang as dramatic and contrived.

Regardless, Stefan's relationship to sex and kink made him very one note. If he's not engaged in some sex act or thinking about sex or masturbating then he's hating himself for his "sick" desires which made him... dull. Once he hits rock bottom and spirals into prostitution he mostly makes peace with the fact that he needs to be owned/used and then he becomes the vapid pet sitting naked on the rug. In a nutshell, he's not a well rounded person and he depressed the fuck out of me. So there's that. What's more, he never really endeavors to get to know Daz or Yan, so I never really get to know them on more than a superficial level. I think I like Yan and I was dogged by sympathetic feelings towards Daz, because he seems to have oodles of love to give and no one to take it, but I could be wrong. Who knows? They do seemingly forge a bond over the course of the story so... *shrugs*

Lastly, I think an editor or a mouthy beta could've done wonders to balance this story out. I found it overlong with some points beaten into the ground while others I'm still wondering how they were resolved like the pregnancy and sharing things. I've no idea whether or not this is indicative of Metzger's style or if it was engineering as part of Stefan's characterization, but at a certain point the repeating thing became less of a dramatic emphasis on certain points and more a bromide.

But I did like the creative uses of music.

I've no idea who to recommend this to but if any of the above appeals I can assure you that Sex in C Major is not a book easily forgotten.





A review copy was provided.


Review: Walking on Water by Matthew J. Metzger

When a cloud falls to earth, Calla sets out to find what lies beyond the sky. Father says there’s nothing, but Calla knows better. Something killed that cloud; someone brought it down.

Raised on legends of fabled skymen, Calla never expected them to be real, much less save one from drowning—and lose her heart to him. Who are the men who walk on water? And how can such strange creatures be so beautiful?

Infatuated and intrigued, Calla rises out of her world in pursuit of a skyman who doesn’t even speak her language. Above the waves lies more than princes and politics. Above the sky awaits the discovery of who Calla was always meant to be. But what if it also means never going home again?




Matthew J. Metzger is one of my all time favourite authors, I don't think there is a story he's written I've not loved despite the diversity - or maybe because of the diversity - of his writing. Walking on water is a retelling of Hans Christian Andersen's The Little Mermaid, and it's AMAZING. Completely and utterly amazing.

The writing drew me in and compelled me to read the story of Calla, the mermaid who never quite fitted in. The mermaid who wanted more than the life she was given; the mermaid who needed to become her - his - true self. And that trueself was Held, a skyman.

Keeping the essence of the original story whilst turning it into an analogy of transgenderism, Metzger used his prose carefully to weave a heart-achingly beautiful story of  being. Being brave and bold; being unafraid to love or explore or care; being honest; being true. 

The worlds created here, first the underwater kingdom in which Calla resides, then the skyworld of Held and Janez are beautiful. We see the skyworld as Held sees it and we learn as he learns in many ways. It was clever using the German language to show the language barrier between Held, and well everyone, but particularly Janez. It was a language I don't speak, yet it was quite easy to work out the general meaning of each phrase, if not the specific one. 

The romance that blossomed between Held and Janez was beautiful but not easy. A prince in one land and a man with no known origin and no language in common was never going to be easy. Yet every hurdle they faced made me want them to beat the odds more and more. They belonged together, pure and simple. 

This is definitely going on my favourite reads list and I recommend it to everyone.
A copy of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.
For more information see Goodreads.

Review: Sharing Secrets by Matthew J. Metzger

Adam has a secret. But maybe Charlie has a few of his own.

Adam’s got a secret and nobody knows.

He’s promised himself never to get into relationships and risk revealing it, but Charlie Fielding has a way of getting under one’s skin. One party, one kiss and Adam is faced with a horrible choice—tell Charlie the truth or keep quiet. And either way, lose the only friends he’s had in years.

But Charlie might have a secret, too—and everybody knows but Adam.

"Nobody knows."

Matthew J. Metzger is a MUST read author for me, he is absolutely amazing,  yet he's one that I don't hear enough about and that's a real shame.

This book, like many of Metzger's, is YA - but it's real. The characters aren't some polished Hollywood version of teens, they are teens I can relate to and understand (despite my teen years being a loooong time ago!) Real proper characters. Adam and Charlie are just two unique characters that sold me their story in the first couple of pages. 

Many of Metzger's novels feature transgender characters, and this one is no different; the ups and downs and secrets and hurt aren't how you think they're going to be though. It's not straightforward, and it's not easy, but it's also compelling to read. To understand. To think about things in a different way than before.

I really don't want to spoil the storyline, so I'm being very vague. okay, so the storyline is absolutely compelling reading. I personally think this is the type of book that should be in school libraries, it covers diversity and illness/disability in the way it should; with a normalcy sadly lacking in many books. Adam, Charlie, Phoebe and Ollie are still teens doing teen things with teen worries. Give 'em a few years and they'd be adults doing adult things with adult worries... they just have another aspect to them. Adam and Charlie's are mayhaps a bit larger to deal with. 

I love how Metzger writes this but I'm struggling to put it into words without sounding ridiculous. Everyone is different. Everyone has things to deal with. Some are harder to cope with than others, but the people (characters) are still people and Metzger nails that. There are no caricatures in his literature.

The small town setting - the families, school, secondary characters - they all worked together to support the MC's and their story. It is a fantastic piece of work.

I absolutely think everyone should read this author. If YA isn't your thing then pick up another of his novels, but whatever you do check him out. He's very talented and this book was - IS - amazing.


A copy of this book was given in exchange for an honest review.

Giveaway + Blog Tour: Sex in C Major by Matthew J. Metzger


Welcome Matthew Metzger! He's here today talking asexuality and sex to promote his new erotic novel, Sex in C Major.

Be sure to enter to win ebooks below. Good luck!




Title: Sex in C Major
Author: Matthew J. Metzger
Release Date: May 27th 2017
Genre: GLBT, BDSM, Interracial Romance

The Sexy Asexual

My latest novel, Sex in C Major, features an exploration of asexuality—the lack of sexual attraction—and aromanticism, the lack of romantic attraction. I am aromantic and asexual. This means, essentially, that I don't experience that pull towards another human being, either of wanting to date them and be with them, or of wanting to take off all their clothes and hear what they sound like when they come. In Sex in C Major, one of the triad, Yannis, identifies as both. He isn't into sex, and he isn't into dating, and could the sex noises please be kept to a dull roar so he can concentrate on his compositions, please?

Sex in C Major is also erotica.

BDSM. Public sex. Threesomes. Chastity belts. Orgasm denial. Plugging. A D/s lifestyle. Corporal punishment. Chains. Enforced nudity. Sensory deprivation. It is about sex, from start to finish. So how the hell does that work?

Because—now concentrate—asexuality is nothing to do with sex.

No, really.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation. And sexual orientations are not reflective of sexual activity.

You can be a virgin your whole life long, and be one hundred percent bisexual. You can be a man who has slept with every woman between London and Ljubljana, and be gay as a flower basket. You can be a woman who married the first boy she ever kissed and has never slept with anyone but him, and be a dyed-in-the-wool lesbian.

Because what you're attracted to, and what you do, are different things.

You might be a virgin because you find men and women both super sexy, but you're saving yourself for marriage and you never found someone you loved enough to marry. Still bisexual. You could be a man in a country where homosexuality is punishable by death, so you'll close your eyes and pretend the girls who want you are men instead, and hide under the guise of being a red-blooded, skirt-chasing male. Still gay. You could be a woman in a world where you marry the man your father picks out for you, and the best you could hope for is a man who doesn't mistreat you. Still lesbian.

Your desires are one thing. Your actions are another.

People seem to be able to grasp this about other sexual orientations, but asexuality suddenly becomes all about sex, and it's bullcrap.

So what was that line?

Asexuality is nothing to do with sex.

You can be a virgin your whole life long, and be one hundred percent asexual. Why would you want to have sex anyway? Ew. You can be a man who has slept with every woman between London and Ljubljana, and be asexual as a flower basket, because you like the act of having sex but you don't give a damn who you have it with and have never been attracted to those people. You can be a woman who married the first boy she ever kissed and has never slept with anyone but him, and be a dyed-in-the-wool asexual, because you're madly in love with him, you're just not interested in ripping all your clothes off and getting anything in your vagina.

You know the line by now, right?

Asexuality is nothing to do with sex.

So Sex in C Major is an erotic novel. And it stars asexual and aromantic characters.

Because some aromantic folks, and some asexual folks, and some folks who are both—like me—are still sexy, kinky, and up to sexy, kinky things.

Being asexual has nothing do with it.

****

Sex_in_C_Major_400[982]

BLURB

Stefan has ... fantasies.

He knows chasing those fantasies is only going to end in disaster, but he can't seem to stop his self-destructive spiral. He’s a transgender man struggling to come to terms with the intersection of his identity and his sexual fantasies as a submissive. He needs someone to take control before he loses it completely.

Daz can take control. He can teach Stefan everything there is to know about sex and submission, but for some reason, he can't get inside Stefan's head. Daz can stop Stefan’s self-destruction but not the fear that fuels it.

Stefan needs to know who he is before he can accept what he is. And it's Yannis -- Daz's aromantic, asexual, stern, and sarcastic partner -- who has the answer.

Purchase: Amazon US | Amazon UK | JMS Books | iBooks

Find Sex in C Major on Goodreads

EXCERPT

Other people wanted vanilla sex and dating out of a hookup in a gay bar. But Stefan wanted— this. He wanted to jump from nothing to Daz bending him over the end of the bed and fucking him like he was nothing but a sex doll.

What was he doing?

And yet he kept walking, step by step by step towards the house. A jogger had to go around him; a car hooted angrily as he walked out in front of it. He didn’t care. The house was calling. The man inside was calling. The promise of his fantasies becoming real was calling.

And it was terrifying and stupid and utterly crazy… but Stefan just couldn’t say no.

At exactly eight fifteen, the terror enough to make him throw up and the arousal so intense he could barely walk, Stefan knocked on the door.

Footsteps.

A key in a lock.

Then the door was jerked open, and a hand fisted in Stefan’s coat and hauled him inside.

“Upstairs,” Daz said, slamming the door. “Now. Nobody sees you.”

Stefan scrambled to obey, almost running up the stairs, still in his coat and shoes. He was shoved back into the small bedroom from the night before, and the door slammed behind them.

“Strip,” Daz said.



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About the Author

Matthew

Matthew J. Metzger is a twenty-something British author of queer novels, primarily focusing on relationships, be they familial, platonic, sexual or romantic. He was dragged up in London, but currently lives in West Yorkshire, where he carves out a living in an office crunching numbers before going home to write books at night. Matthew particularly writes working-class queer life, and queer people who exist outside of the standard M/M romance fare written by and for well-educated, middle-class sensibilities. There be nasty words ahead, children. Better buckle up.

Links: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Patreon

BLOG SCHEDULE:

May 27th: Alpha Book Club | My Fiction Nook | Hearts on Fire Reviews

May 28th: Nerd Girl Official | Boy Meets Boy Reviews

May 29th: The Novel Approach | A L Boyd

May 3oth: A M Leibowitz

May 31st: Happily Ever Chapter

June 1st: MJs Book Blog and Reviews

June 2nd: Bonkers about Books | Joyfully Jay

June 5th: Kimmers' Erotic Book Banter

June 6th: Making It Happen | Outrageous Heroes

June 7th: BFD Book Blog

June 8th: Triple A

June 9th: Love Bytes Reviews

June 12th: Stories That Make You Smile | Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

June 13th: Loving Without Limits | L M Brown

June 14th: All in One Place | Dawn's Reading Nook

June 15th: Bayou Book Junkie

June 16th: Drops of Ink | Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!



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