Alexa Land dropped by the stable today and she brought a surprise guest with her. Can you guess who????
She's the Queen of Shenanigans, Defender of Gay Homosexuals, everyone's favorite grandma, Nana!!!!!
Ah, Nana Dombruso, heart and soul of the Firsts and Forever Series! She means well, and she loves her ‘gay homosexual’ boys more than anything. But things don’t always go as planned for Nana, especially during her cable TV cooking show. In this classic scene from Against the Wall, Nana makes a wedding cake for an impromptu Valentine’s Day wedding:
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| Bless your heart. Nana, how do you get yourself into these situations? |
“Ah,
there are our grooms!” she exclaimed when she spotted Skye and Dare. “Come join
us, boys, we’re about to make your wedding cake! We didn’t know what flavor you
wanted, so we went with all of them! Jessie, you ready?” He smiled and nodded.
“Alright kiddo, start stacking!”
Jessie
and Nana worked as a team, lifting a series of twelve-inch-round Valentine’s
Day-pink cakes and stacking them on top of each other as Nana explained,
“Bakers charge a premium for wedding cakes, but it’s just a question of
stacking, people! It’s so easy, anyone can do it! Now, I didn’t have a chance
to custom order anything, so I just went with what they had at the bakery.
Normally, you maybe want to use cakes of different sizes, but this’ll work.
Once you finish building your cake tower, pipe on some frosting, slap on some
fresh flowers and you’ve got yourself a wedding cake!”
“How
big are we going, Nana?” Jessie asked as they piled on cake after cake.
“Big
as you want!”
“This
is pretty big,” Jessie said, looking up at the cake tower.
“We
should cap it off with this fancy princess cake as a nice finishing touch.”
Nana said, climbing up on a stepstool and hoisting up a rounded dome cake
covered with pink marzipan. It was slightly wider than the cakes below it, and
as soon as it was in place, Jessie stepped back, blinked at what they’d made,
and said, “Oops.” Then he started laughing. Chance had his camera around his
neck and started snapping photos as he chuckled delightedly.
“Oh
shit,” Nana exclaimed as I doubled over with laughter, “we accidentally made a
giant weenie dongle.” Shea was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down
his face.
The
huge cake dong started listing to the right and Nana grabbed hold of it with
both hands. “Fuck a duck, Jessie, we forgot a key step! We needed to keep it
stiff!” He was laughing so hard by this point that he had to lean against the
kitchen counter to remain upright.
“It
is really important to keep it stiff,” he managed.
“You
were supposed to insert your wood! How could we forget that?” Nana told him.
The fact that she was gesturing with her chin toward some thin wooden dowels
was lost on her assistant, who was struggling to breathe.
The
cake was leaning even further by now and she ended up hugging it and trying to
heave it upright. Jessie collapsed on the kitchen floor, howling with laughter,
and a chuckling Skye and Dare jumped in to try to lend a hand. They both
hesitated though, unsure where exactly to grab the frosting-covered phallus.
“This
is awesome,” Trevor said as he panned the camera across the scene before him, a
huge smile on his face. Joshie wandered in just then, paperback in hand. He
took one look at the chaos, shook his head, and left the room again.
Meanwhile,
Nana teetered on the stepstool, trying to wrestle the cock cake into an upright
position with both arms wrapped around it. “It looks like she’s trying to jerk
it off,” Chance murmured as he chuckled and kept snapping photos.
“Quick
Skye, hand me that thing on the counter,” Nana exclaimed.
She
probably meant the dowel, but Skye grabbed a pastry bag filled with white icing
and said, “This?” as he held the bag up to her.
Nana
grabbed it without looking and reached for the top of the cake. She squeezed
the bag too hard though as she lost her footing, sending a jet of white icing
shooting toward the ceiling. It arced up and over, splattering the grooms. I
laughed so hard that my sides hurt. Dare caught her easily as Nana fell off the
stool.
“Well,
that was a satisfying climax,” Shea quipped, still chuckling as he wiped tears
from his eyes.
*****
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| Nana and her bestie. Such fashionistas! |
I’m
hosting a Nana-inspired giveaway! To enter the contest, comment on this post
and tell me what you’d like to see Nana do next, either in the kitchen or in
general. One winner drawn at random will receive a $25 Amazon gift card. Be
sure to leave a way to contact you in your comment, if you’re the lucky winner!
*****
About
Alexa
Alexa Land
is an independent author of gay fiction and romance. Her character-driven books
include the best-selling Firsts and Forever Series, set in present-day San
Francisco, which is currently at twelve volumes and counting. Who I Used to Be was
published in August and is the most recent book in the series. Next up is
Worlds Away, Sawyer and Alastair’s story, which should be out by the end of the
year.
You can find Alexa Land:
On
twitter: @AlexaLandWrites
Make sure to leave a comment below to be entered for a chance to win $25 Amazon gift card. Name to be drawn randomly.
Be sure to leave your email, Twitter handle or Goodreads profile link by no later than Midnight EST November 27th, so we can contact you. If there is no response within 48 hrs, another winner will be chosen. Good luck!
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