Tucker Gleason is a junior partner in the prestigious law firm of Dryer, Stokes and Associates. His career is going well—he’s on track to make full partner, having won more cases than any other lawyer in the firm. His love life is another matter. On his own for too long, he gets a much needed jolt when he meets one of the owners of the construction company hired to build the new law firm offices.
Gabe Conner is a happily married man, until he meets Tucker and is reminded of the hot gay relationship he experienced in college. Thinking it was just youthful experimentation, he never mentioned it to his wife. But now that he’s met Tucker and the two men are so drawn to each other, he has no choice but to bring it up.
Brooklyn Conner isn’t as shocked to learn her husband has gay tendencies as she is to find out he’s interested in one of her bosses. She’s a paralegal at Dryer and Stokes, and worries about losing not only her husband but also her job if things fall through with the sexy junior partner. She can’t resist their advances when they both join forces to seduce her, and quickly decides she doesn’t need to. Sex with two men is hot. Until Tucker’s true appetite is revealed, and Brook’s vanilla world is turned upside down.
Reader Advisory: This book contains scenes of M/M intimacy and ménage in a polyamorous relationship between two men and a woman.
Publisher's Note: The stories in this series are linked solely by theme and can be read in any order. This book can be read as a standalone title.
SPOILERS AHEAD
Brooklyn Bound is a card carrying member of Pornlandia. Pornlandia has a different rating system because, let’s face it, we've left romancelandia. I don’t know about you but I like my porn without a lot of dialogue. More grunting, moaning, affirming things, a well placed declarative sentence is welcome and perhaps a little secular deity calling. I could do with less bothersome, awkward conversations and pathetic attempts at a plot, but that’s just me.
Brooklyn Bound begins in a most promising fashion with Tucker at a gay BDSM club. At 2% a hot thing gigantor (in all ways *wink*) Master with long flowing black hair directing his two slave boys on how to properly suck his cock definitely piqued my interest. Tucker turns around and sees a three-way daisy chain/dude sandwich then a four way Cirque du Soleil thing happening. I’m thinking just jump in there, buddy! Let’s get this party started! Dark Fabio even propositioned him! Next thing you know Tucker’s all tuckered out in his jim jams at home missing his ex? How you gonna turn down dark Fabio, bro? Not even a shower jerk off once he gets home because he can’t get it up for anyone since losing his beloved 2 yrs ago.
*narrows eyes*
This does not sound promising. Absolutely NO soft peen in my porn. Soft peen is for the birds.
*proceeds with caution*
Tucker heads to the office the next day for a meeting with the contractors who are building new office space for his law firm.
Now, we're getting somewhere!
Construction workers are always randy! Here we go. Tucker sees Gabe and his heart skips a beat followed shortly thereafter by his declaration of sexual preference presumably in an effort to entice Gabe into a boy sandwich because why else would you discuss your sexual preferences in a business meeting? Alas, Gabe’s all shy boy with his Fabio hair and *sputters* goes back to work?!?! Curious. Ole Tuck shook off his “I can never love again” blues with a quickness, didn't he? And then Superman turned into that guy. You know that guy. That guy that starts stalking you after meeting you for 5 mins. That guy that when he asks for your number you give him 867-5309 and when he says, “we don’t use that prefix” you say, “the phone company made an exception just for me. Trust me.”
Turns out Gabe’s stalking uncovered a major roadblock. Gabe’s hitched to Brooklyn who, wouldn’t you know it, is not only a girl but also works for his firm. WHAT are the chances? That makes checking out the competition easier, doesn't it? This goes about as well as that Lone Ranger movie did for Johnny Depp. You know why? Because Tuck has no experience with the ladies and he’s all awkward and shit. Damn the luck! He’s just always struggled with foot-in-mouth-syndrome when it comes to chatting up the ladies.
Have you noticed the marked lack of sex? I sure did.
Tuck decides he’s not the guy to interfere with another’s relationship right up until he sees Gabe and his Fabio locks the next day and can’t resist a kiss and a cock squeeze because Gabe should know what he’s missing. Oddly enough, this works mostly because Gabe’s got a secret and Pornlandia. Gabe likes to be pounded but hasn’t been since before he hitched his wagon to Brook, so you can imagine how needy he is. Everything’s a go except… the pesky wife who doesn’t know about Gabe’s pounding history. Not to worry! A steak dinner and a quick powwow is gonna fix this deal and then they are all gonna get their freak on. Together. Even though Tucker’s gay and bad with the ladies. Whatever. It’s gonna happen!
Except…
Buzzkill Brook isn’t all that keen but she ain’t gonna lose her man! They have some odd and somewhat confusing sex after which she slaps him in her drunken stupor and stumbles off to pass out. Why I then have to read about her alarm being reset by Gabe continues to stump me and in my opinion alarms have no business in Pornlandia. We’ve strayed way off the reservation here. Clearly everyone needs a reminder-Pornlandia. Pornlandia with a marked lack of actual porn thus far. I need you people to focus.
“I’ll make it worth her while, believe me. What woman could resist two men taking care of her every desire?”
*scurries off to put on porn goggles*
I can’t believe I forgot those! Oh wait, the lack of sex thus far. Nevermind. Perhaps the porn goggles will explain how gay Tuck is going to rock Brook’s world with his non-existent history of rockin’ the ladies’ worlds. Fingers crossed he's got his hands on some Viagra or something because… soft peen. Soft peen is not gonna be popular with needy Gabe nor his ball and chain.
Well, newly and inexplicably comfy with the ladies Tuck comes over to talk and… *cue Sean Paul*
“Brook, baby. I’m getting ready to fuck his wanton ass. Would you like to watch my cock go in?” She patted Tucker’s cheek so he’d release her, and scooted down for a better view.
“Wow. Look how his hole flutters.”
“I had three fingers in there. I think that’s enough. When he goes to fuck me, I’ll need at least four to prep my ass. Maybe five. He’s huge.”
Yo! Less chattering. Please refer back to paragraph one. PORN FOUL!
So enthusiastic, short lived couch sex happens, which is but phase one of Tucker's plan because smart lawyer is a bait and switch kind of guy.
The next part of his plan would require a bit more finesse. He couldn’t come right out and tell Gabe that he was a closet submissive who craved a Master’s touch. He’d have to bring him around slowly. The traditional method of introducing D/s was to slip commands into sexual acts, and turn them into a role-playing game. It was a proven effective technique, best used on someone when he was emotionally open and vulnerable. Once he’d gotten his new lover used to the idea of a Dominant leading their play, he could turn the tables and let Gabe dominate.
Fascinating.
I’m getting my learn on now.
I don’t know about you guys but I’m starting to get the feeling Brooklyn’s the third wheel in this bizarre love triangle. Tuck’s got another thing coming if he thinks Brook’s going curbside without a fight, though.
Brook searched her dresser drawers for the sexiest lingerie she owned. A lacy, strapless black teddy cut high on the thighs would fit the bill perfectly. Slipping into the bathroom, she stripped and donned the outfit. In the back of her closet she found the tall ‘fuck me’ heels she’d purchased one day on a whim, but hardly ever wore for fear of snapping an ankle. She’d simply have to be careful, because she was dressing to impress tonight. If Gabe and Tucker wanted to be alone together she’d give them cause for second thoughts, making herself too irresistible to ignore.
BECAUSE THEY'RE GAY! G.A.Y.
They like boys.
They like boys.
They dig the buttsex.
They like peen.
Do I need to draw you a picture?
Well, technically I didn't draw that or take it for that but… details. The message is clear:
No ladies needed.
The wife’s always the last to know, isn't she? Wait, what the hell am I talking about? It’s Pornlandia! Sheesh, with the dearth of sex happening in this porn I almost forgot. Again.
*adjusts porn goggles* Could they be defective? *shakes them*
Anyhoo, the sexy lingerie gauntlet gets thrown down among other things promptly followed by her hightailing it to her parent’s house the next morning to give Gabe and Tucker time to bond? You cannot simply pick up the gauntlet once you’ve thrown it down. There are gauntlet throwing down rules of engagement and running off to visit the folks is a violation. You do not leave said possibly (read: probably) gay husband alone with his newly acquired gay lover FOR THE WEEKEND, but what’s done is done. Let the cockanigans begin a.k.a. phase 2 of Tuck’s “master” plan.
Confessions about submission are uttered; clothes and M&M’s are bought. Don’t ask. A new truck is perused which makes it pretty clear Gabe ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but boy does he take to dominating his boy like a duck to water.
His puckering hole fluttered open, and he sat firmly on Tucker’s lap. “Aw, God.”
“Yes, oh yes.” Tucker tried to buck his hips, an impossible chore with Gabe’s full weight on him.
“Slow down, you ass slut,” Gabe chastised. “I’m calling the shots here, and don’t you forget it.”
Ok, so maybe a duck to water is overstating things a bit. Whatever. Pornlandia, people. Pornlandia minus a condom because who needs those? Everybody’s clean, right? You can just tell these things. AND the condom automatically becomes a non-issue once declarations of love occur, right? In the front seat of an SUV. After mutual BJs. And M&Ms with peanuts cause that makes it more… seriouser.
Brooklyn returns rom her folks and she’s having none of this Tucker bribing with her man with M&Ms and clothes and whatnot. They are going to turn back the clock and go back to being *cough* “vanilla” and possibly find another boy toy. Sure. Why not? It’s still Pornlandia. I still got my goggles on. It can happen, right? You can’t buy love!
Unless…
You throw in paying for the rest of her law school and offering her a job after she graduates then all bets are off.
*cue REO Speedwagon*
Brook and Tuck decide they’re going to surprise their master by binding their arms behind their backs and blindfolding each other. How’d they accomplish that? Beats the hell out of me. I’m going with dick wizardry because it explains all things.
3 Hearts for entertaining me with their enthusiasm for their lackluster sex, peanut M&Ms and the dark Fabio sighting a 2%. Hindsight being 20/20, I should’ve stopped there, then again had I not persevered I would’ve missed out on all this pseudoporn with far too much talking, boring sex, a transparent plot, dick wizardry and an overabundance of fluttering holes which reminds me, minus 1 heart for that. Holes fluttering are a porn foul, so 2 hearts it is.
Recommend to… you know who you are.
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