NSFW Review: Aftercare by Tanya Chris

Aayan Denir knows Garrett Hillier was once a high-powered defense attorney, and—thanks to a leaked photograph—he knows Garrett is sexually submissive, which makes him ideally qualified to defend Aayan's brother from the charge of murdering his sub. Aayan would do anything to protect Syed, even if he doesn't understand how Syed could hurt someone he loves. He could never hurt Garrett. He only wants to take care of him—love him, serve him, cherish him. And maybe torture him. Just a little. 

Garrett probably shouldn’t be dating his client’s brother. Right? And what’s the use in a confirmed sub dating a guy who doesn’t want to be a Dom anyway? The important thing is to get Syed cleared of the discriminatory murder charge he’s facing. Aayan is a distraction. But for the first time in the three lonely years since Garrett’s husband died, he’s feeling hope, ambition, and desire. Can he give up the pain he craves to find the love he needs? 

As Syed’s trial date looms, Aayan and Garrett explore what a BDSM relationship means for them, and what they mean to each other. 

Aftercare is a M/M BDSM contemporary romance about Aayan, a Muslim immigrant who’s not sure he can play the Dom role, and Garrett, a submissive attorney who walked away from his life when his husband died. 64,000 words.

Tanya Chris was a new to be author but she's on my radar now. Poor thing. Someone should warn her. So strap in, kids. Cupcake's about to gush, and by "gush" I mean talk your face off.

"When I'm with you it's like spring has come. Everything blooms and fills."

Aftercare was like a breath of fresh air that I inhaled with gusto. Reminiscent of a kinder, gentler Uneven in that Aayan like Gabriel has no real experience with kink, though he has a presence, innate dom qualities and an inner sadist begging to break free. However, Aayan's faith along with a college experience gone bad have done a number on his psyche and led him to squelch his urges. 

I'm not a religious person thus I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the juxtaposition of Aayan's beliefs with his desires. Desires which run counter to Islam in particular his yearning to hurt his male lovers and whereas Islam  values caretaking over violence. Islam also fundamentally prohibits homosexuality and Aayan is gay, something in many ways, I think he's perpetually trying to atone for. These opposing forces blend together to make Aayan a caretaker dom and a reticent sadist, so... crazy, stupid sexy.

He does this come here finger thing... I can't even!

I'm getting ahead of myself. Oops.

His brother Syed's partner and sub, Jaime, was murdered and Syed is the only suspect owing to their lifestyle. Aayan wants Garrett to represent his brother due to his much publicized submissiveness. Garrett's deceased husband Russell took a photo of him kneeling at his feet with an enraptured look on his face and subsequent to his death that photo was made public. Syed bought it. Aayan half fell in love with Garrett from that photo, so his hiring him isn't entirely altruistic.

The attraction between them is palpable but the question then becomes can Aayan meet Garrett's needs? Can he reconcile his sadistic urges with his faith?

The way Chris approached these questions and Aayan's characterization was nuanced and complex, sophisticated. It took Aayan a long time to admit he was gay for fear of disappointing his parents. He even married in an effort to subvert his sexuality, make his parents happy and remain a good Muslim, so the notion of going against god again inspires much angst.

But Garrett pushes all of his sadistic buttons. Makes him want and Garrett wants that pain too. Needs it.

He wanted to shred Garrett into manageable pieces, pieces he could own and control.

Garrett has his fair share of baggage too. Said highly publicized photo of him pretty much destroyed his credibility as a high-powered attorney. He's been doing public defense work since Russell's death 3 yrs ago and existing. Garrett doesn't struggle so much with his feelings for Aayan as adjusting to the difference between him and Russell which captivated me with its simplicity. Can he adjust to only D/s without pain play? Not only that but simply the adjustment to the differences in their dominance and being the sub Aayan needs or wants as opposed to Russell.

They don't always communicate effectively and Garrett does throw out some mixed signals at times but I liked the way their relationship evolved; it felt realistic. They both struggle with their baggage but they both realize what they have has the potential to be something special and neither wants to lose it.

He made Garrett feel like a thing he owned-a precious thing, a thing to be treated carefully, but his all the way through.

The sex has some grade A choice begging! Have I said how much I love it when they beg? Quality begging is difficult to come by. The sex isn't super kinky with some bondage, orgasm denial and a spanking scene. There is a size difference though and Aayan is prone to picking up Garrett and putting him where he wants him. *growls*

I have a bigger fondness for the investigative side of law and this focused on the trial. Overall it held my attention, but I'd still have preferred finding out what happened to Jaime. There were some great secondary characters though including Dashiell and Dharini.

The only real niggle I had was why Aayan wouldn't just talk to Syed about his struggles, but by the same token, I can understand not only being the oldest and not wanting to burden his younger brother but Syed is on trial for his partner's murder so... prolly not the best time.

Both of these characters are likable and genuine and I'd be pleased as punch were there to be a follow up with any of them. What made Aftercare memorable for me was Aayan's unwavering devotion to Garrett. He pursues him with vigor and even before they really "get there", he knows Garrett is his one. He isn't afraid to both show and tell him in a way that didn't make it seem like he was craycraybenaynay, but rather a statement of fact. That combination of confidence and vulnerability... superlatives fail me.

If you like your kink with an extra helping of romance, give Aftercare a try.

"I'm going to love you and hurt you and love you."

A review copy was provided.

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