Anniversary Shenanigans: Author Visit + Giveaway - Jay Bell

Jay Bell has joined our Anniversary Shenanigans once again!

The unicorns are so happy to have him here! He's taken the reins today to speak about an important topic and hopeful message.

Take it away, Mr. Bell!

Surviving Gay Boot Camp

The military puts its troops through a brutal regime to break down their soldiers and build them back up again, tougher than ever. In many ways, growing up gay is a similar experience, especially for those who were raised in previous decades. While we’ve made great strides in recent years, the current political environment, especially in the United States, suggests that LGBT people are in for rough times again. But wait, there’s a beam of light past the gloomy forecast! Much like the boot camp that soldiers go through, there’s a very good chance that the next generation of LGBT youth will come out of these trying times even stronger than before. In fact, I’m reminded of the environment that I grew up in. I came out in the mid-nineties when gay people were only represented in media as comedy relief or tragic figures. The majority of public opinion was definitely not in our favor, and misinformation about what it meant to be LGBT was rampant. I faced homophobia on a regular basis and was often scared for my life, but I wouldn’t wish to grow up in a more enlightened era because I gained so much. Like what? It’s time for a list! Here are four super powers that come from surviving gay boot camp:

The ability to truly know who you are. Teenagers do a lot of navel gazing as they develop their identity. They have to ask themselves what career would suit them best and what they’d like to do with the rest of their lives, but rarely do they stand trial in their own mind, playing both judge and the accused. LGBT people are forced to dig into the very depth of their souls to discover if they are truly who they suspect they are. This means abandoning preconceived notions of a storybook life and accepting that they will always draw attention for the simplest of things. Holding hands on a first date is enough to give most teenagers sweaty palms, but imagine two guys doing so at a mall. People will stare. No matter your age or how liberal the city, you will make yourself a target for a basic expression of love. That’s scary, and a person who finally accepts that they are LGBT will soon face a challenge of courage, one that not all will pass.

The ability to stop caring what other people think of you. Being open about one’s sexuality will often draw negative attention. Chances are that at least one relative won’t approve, nor will some classmates, coworkers, politicians, or strangers. Trolls on the internet will spew their bile and it’ll be impossible to go through life without hearing some sort of slur. That’s the mildest of possible outcomes, as Matthew Shepard’s story so painfully demonstrated. Anyone who chooses to come out will have to stop caring what other people think of them, which isn’t as simple as it sounds. We all want to be liked. We want parental approval or for people in society to think highly of us. Imagine if one decision could turn half a nation against you. In the United States, that’s over one-hundred-and-fifty million people! It doesn’t matter how good or giving you are, nor how kind or fair. Being gay is a deal-breaker for many people. That’s sad, but the upside is the sheer joy and liberation of letting go. Most of us hold ourselves back to some extent because we’re worried what other people will think. Just imagine how much easier it would be to reach your full potential without all those disapproving voices in your head. The word pride is synonymous with the gay rights movement for a reason. Coming out may result in disdain from the outside, but inside it’s a blissful awakening, and the most loving gesture of self-acceptance.

The ability to care more about other people. That may seem to contradict the previous point, but there’s nothing like being a minority to make you sympathize with others in a similar plight. Conservative groups who want to infringe on the rights of others are always made up of an overwhelming majority of male Caucasians. Why? Not because white men are inherently evil, but because they grow up in a world where they are less likely to be treated as second-class citizens. They’re already at the top of the food chain, and the only thing that rattles them is the idea of having to share that throne. On some level, I can understand why, because it sucks being persecuted just because of the color of one’s skin, nation of birth, sexuality, or gender identity. I like to think that someone who has experienced starvation is more prone to share their food with someone who needs it. Sadly, this isn’t always the case, but generally it’s easier to be sympathetic toward another when you know first-hand how their suffering feels.

The ability to live for your own happiness. LGBT people who stare down their fears stand to benefit from the greatest perk of all; living the life they most desire. So many people seek the approval of others well into their adult years. This can extend to who they chose to date, where they live, what sort of work they do, their personal appearance, and more. The most common and tragic version of this involves parents and trying to please them. By the time those parents pass away, the child seeking their approval is living a life they aren’t satisfied with and might feel life’s opportunities have already passed them by. An out and proud gay person rarely stops at their sexuality. More often than not, they apply the lessons learned to the rest of their lives and do what is in their best interest; chasing after love, making dreams come true, and realizing one’s fullest potential.

So yes, while LGBT people face many challenges, those same hardships ensure they are self-assured and yet sympathetic, grounded in their own identity and yet free to become whatever they desire. For those of you standing on the precipice of a very difficult decision, keep in mind that to the brave go the spoils. If you need extra proof, I’m happy to share three stories with you that center around surviving difficulties and reaping the rewards. I’m giving away three books that feature my favorite survivors: Kamikaze Boys is the story of David Henry, who has to deal with bullying and bad parenting. Something Like Summer is the story of Benjamin Bentley, who comes out during a decade not quite ready to accept gay people. And finally, Something Like Lightning, in which Kelly Williams must deal with the loss of a dream. Each is a triumphant story of courage that very well could mirror your own, since it’s not just LGBT people who face such hardships. We could all stand to be reminded of how the most difficult path often leads to the happiest of conclusions. Three books means three winners, and hey, if you’re into autographs we can do that too! Details on how to enter are below!

The unicorns thank Jay Bell for visiting today and shining a hopeful light. Tell Jay what you think in the comments below!

Jay Bell is giving away these three books to three winners!

a Rafflecopter giveaway



The giveaway is open until 12:00AM (Eastern time) on 12/6/16. Shortly thereafter, we will contact a winner! 

Please respond to the winning notification within 48 hours or we will choose another winner. Good luck!

Don't miss entering in our month long unicorn giveaway here! It ends 12/1/16!