Guest Review: Guardian by Jordan Taylor

On a blustery November day in London, Gavin catches a bus from Waterloo Station to his office. He makes this journey five days a week, year after year, alone. Or so he thinks.

He does not know that his guardian angel accompanies him each day of his life, watching over him—loving him as all guardians must. His guardian’s feelings, however, fall into baser depths. As all guardians know, it is taboo to feel carnal love for a human ward. Such a relationship would not be viable—or healthy. Gavin’s guardian knows this. Lives and breathes this. And yet, to lift Gavin from depression, he is willing to attempt the impossible: to manifest as a human for Gavin and finally meet the love of his immortal life face-to-face.

Guest Reviewer: Chelsea

This was absolutely beautiful, but not what I was expecting when I started reading it. It took me a long time to think on this before I wrote this review. I enjoyed it immensely but it left me feeling confused and a little sad. I’ll explain that later in the review, which may be a bit spoilerish, but I’ll warn you appropriately.

This is written from the Guardian’s POV, we never know his name he is merely Gavin’s Guardian. In this world everyone has a guardian and every guardian can see each other, they are always present to their person and ALWAYS loving!

Throughout the train, I see others lean on their people, hug them, or rest their heads on shoulders— holding them on the stressful morning commute. We feel for them. We can’t help it.

Gavin’s guardian however, loves him more than he knows he should and desperately wants to help him through his depression.

They never tell you it’s wrong. They don’t have to. Relationships between humans and guardians are loving, caring, compassionate.
But my feelings for Gavin…

This was so beautifully written, I wish I was a writer so I could say what was so wonderful about this writing. The details about this world were so subtly given that we saw everything in glimpses. It left me wanting to see more, but knowing enough to understand the universe.

This is a story about unconditional love. Not the normal romance-story type love. But selfless, self-sacrificing, forever love. The guardian’s love for Gavin was beautiful and heartbreaking. I was in equal amounts pleasure and pain while reading this, but mostly pleasure.

I lean my forehead on his. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could do more for you. I would do anything for you, Gavin. You know that?” Gavin opens his eyes for a moment to look out the window at the darkening city. I kiss his temple, longing to kiss his lips, wishing even more that he could feel me.

The guardian becomes physical (human) for 24 hours to help Gavin out of his depression and also because he desperately wants to touch and hold him, just once.

The man I know more intimately than I know myself— whom I spend every breath beside, whom I love with a blinding intensity I have not felt since some lives back as a physical— does not know me. As far as he is concerned, I am a stranger. Nobody.

This is where I'm going to get into the spoilers. I will be giving away a lot of the ending. Please don't read if you want to enjoy the story as it plays out. However I think I would have liked to have known the ending before reading it. So anyway SPOILER.

Sooo Confused about what I feel about how this ended, it was not what I was expecting at all!! The guardian CANNOT become human forever no matter what happens, he is no longer alive, he has to accept that he will never be able to be with Gavin in the way he wants, so he helps him find another human.

God, it broke my heart!! It takes a great writer and a unique story to affect me in such a way. But as I said earlier, this is a story about unconditional love and while I definitely struggled with the heartache, seeing the guardians joy for Gavin's happiness despite his own, made me feel so elated.

Yes in the end and after some time to reflect, it was a perfect ending, however, the alternate ending where the guardian somehow stayed with Gavin would have been perfect as well.

Beautiful wonderful concept about loving guardians surrounding their people in love and helping them through life's obstacles. In the end it ended as it should, but I felt sad and tense, much as the guardian did as the realisation of what was to happen dawned upon him, that he couldn't be what Gavin needed. Truly a beautiful short story!

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Interested about this book and author? Read an excerpt from "Guardian"

Excerpt

Gavin sits still on the couch at home, seeing nothing, thinking of Thomas. I sit beside him, arms around him, pressing my face into his neck, kissing him, saying that I love him.

Gavin shivers, stands. He walks into the kitchen.

I lean on the kitchen doorframe, watching him open one cabinet, then another, then the refrigerator.

“What can I do to help you?” I ask. “I would do anything for you, Gavin. Anything. How can I take this pain away?”

He returns to the sitting room to gaze out the front window.

My last two humans talked to themselves. Gavin never says a word unless absolutely necessary. I wish he had someone to talk to, even a dog or cat. I long to hear his voice as much as to see him smile.

His mind still feels thick and heavy with fatigue. He drops back on the couch and soon is lying down.

I sit beside him, stroking his hair, absorbing as much despair into my own soul as I can, like the headache. But it’s not enough. Never enough.

“Help me,” I whisper. “I need help.”

I feel the others at once: warm light lifting the ash-black heaviness that sucks us down. My own ability to think lucidly returns.

“I need to be real for him. I can help him.”

***

Author Info

Jordan Taylor is the author of numerous novels and short stories, including the bestselling Angel Paws series, historical fantasy series Lightfall, and Sight, appearing in Best Gay Romance 2014 (Cleiss Press).

An avid reader and writer, Jordan also enjoys photography and graphic design, travel, ice cream, complimenting cats, and tweeting about her smooth fox terrier, Firefly. Preferably combining as many as possible at the same time.

Website: www.jordantaylorbooks.com

Twitter: @JordanTaylorLit