Review: Yuletide Knights by Johnny Miles

Political activist and comic book shop owner, Michael Cooke has issues. The former college professor struggles between his fight for equality, a new business, and the yo-yo relationship established seven years ago with Beauregard Isiah Guilford. And breaking up for the sixth time may just be the last straw. After dating a younger man however, Michael realizes his heart and soul still belong to Beau. He must now find a way to get his man back for Christmas.

Trouble is, as aggressive as Michael is in his continuous battle for civil rights, he’s just as ashamed by the depth to which he enjoys being humiliated and dominated. His inability to accept his sexually submissive nature has been a lifelong conflict and easy to hide…until Beauregard. All it takes is a single look, a touch, a kiss, and Michael is a quivering, cowering mess. Will he be able to get back what he’s thrown away and rebuild what Beauregard now threatens to withhold?

With everything at risk, their only salvation is Kris Kringle who's about to bring them some Christmas cheer they'll never forget!

Hokey Christmas Jizz.

My last post-holidays Christmas jizz experience was ultra satisfying and this one promised to be kinky Christmas jizz. Win, win, right? Welllllll… 

Political activism is all well and good, however I do not read romance to gain perspective on sociopolitical issues. I have other avenues that are more informative and entertaining for my sociopolitical rhetoric, thankyouverymuch. I can handle a mention here and there but this felt like agenda pushing and bogged the story down as well as hindered my ability to buy into these two being a meant-to-be couple.

Yuletide Knights is labeled BDSM. There were some handcuffs used once………………………………………………. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. sorry, I dozed off just typing that. There are BDSM catchwords bandied about like, "Top", "Daddy" and "submissive" that really have no bearing on the relationship between Beauregard and Michael whatsoever. Michael is the bottom in their rocky, on again/off again relationship and is physically smaller than Beauregard neither of which equates to being submissive. He talks about being humiliated by Beauregard manhandling him and wanting to get on his knees and suck his cock. Sucking a cock does not make one submissive either. You can't just use the verbiage and tag it BDSM. I want you to show me submission and dominance and neither were accomplished here nor was there any discernible heat between them. There was more heat between Beauregard and his twinky partner than with his lost love. Furthermore, the amount of cock talk to cock action was vexing. Talk about a kinky chain yank. I had to wait til 85%! By that point, I'd been drained of my care by all the weirdness and agenda pushing. Thankfully, because it wasn't titillating.

The random appearances of ole Saint Nick in different incantations I think was meant to be charming, but missed the mark. Really, he made appearances in the oddest places and left strange, somewhat cryptic notes. His last incantation being a giant bear with a "gargantuan" cock that got put to good use, but was still somehow unsatisfying. It's not quite porn and not quite romance which left me in a murky, grey soup of 'meh'.

Adjectives abound in the writing style, most of which are awkward and/or cockamamy. "Incredibly lubricating saliva", "fuzzy" tongues, and my personal fave, "worshipping the immense landscape that was his thick, long cock". I might like to see an immensely landscaped cock. Does it have those hedges that are shaped like Christmas trees or maybe Edward Scissorhands got in on the act and put a squirrel here or there? Maybe a UNICORN!!!!! Putting a unicorn on anything makes it better, ammIright?

If you want some awkward and hokey Christmas jizz, you've just hit the jackpot. 

A review copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.

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