Review: The Hit Man Cometh by Edward Kendrick

Mick is a hit man sent after Gavin. Can Gavin, an ex-conman and a shifter, convince Mick they should join forces before Mick kills him?

Mick Whalen is a hit man hired to kill Gavin Wilde. However, when he tracks Gavin to a remote mountain cabin, he discovers that killing the coyote shifter is not in the cards. 

Especially when Gavin offers sex as an incentive to spare his life—an offer Mick does not refuse.

At Gavin's insistence, they find out who hired Mick before someone else is sent to finish the job. The most probable person is a vampire with an axe to grind because of something Gavin did to him in the past. With the help of Gavin's bear-shifter friend Torben, and Torben's vampire friend Brynja, they set out to stop the vampire—perhaps permanently.

Mick and Gavin decide to join forces since, as Gavin points out, he can teleport Mick away after a hit. The contracts come, and their rough bouts of sex heat up in the process.

However, they’re almost killed on a job—a job no one knew about except Mick's friend and handler Johnny. When Johnny is murdered, they team up with the two other hit men who once worked for Johnny, to find and eliminate his killer as well. 

With death and destruction now both men's way of life, will it draw them closer together—or destroy what has become more than just a friendship?

This book and I did NOT see eye to eye.

We started off rocky. We broke up in the middle. There was quite a bit of colorful language. We just couldn't make it work. Unless a book is obviously not meant to be taken seriously then I go into each experience with certain expectations. I struggled through the first 30?% trying to ascertain whether or not this was to be taken seriously at all, if it was supposed to be PWP without the porn or if I was being punk'd. Finally, I came to the conclusion that I, in fact, was supposed to take it seriously, though I still wonder about the punk'd thing. Unfortunately, my suspend reality capabilities did not extend quite this far.

I'm probably about to creep some of you out, but I swear I'm really not a contract killer. I swear. But I do like them and how twisted, cold, sociopathic and merciless they can be. Mick, however, is the worst hit man. Ever. He's hired to kill Gavin, is in his bedroom with a high-powered rifle pointed at him and somehow they wend up fucking. How? Wut? Why? That does not make any sense on either one of their parts. What's more, Mick turns out to be moody and angst-y? A moody and angst-y contract killer?

The icing on top of this crazy cake is Gavin, in addition to being a coyote shifter, can teleport. Which he and Mick affectionately refer to as "Air Coyote". More like: 

Why not teleport once you see the rifle pointed at you? I'd be gone like Sean. Gavin, I guess, was too busy being turned on by the threat of mortal injury? Maybe? I really have no clue. I'm too left-brained for this book and these characters. Said brain was stomping up and down having a hissy fit all over the place. 

Hissy fit #1:  Mick and Gavin deduce that a vampire named Clemente, who abducted Gavin's daughter some time ago to sell into slavery, is the one who hired Mick. Gavin was able to track down Clemente all those years ago and rescue his daughter thus creating a rift between them. Isn't there always a rift between vamps and shifters? Anyway… Clemente has opened a gay BDSM club apparently to lure in Gavin and then exact his revenge for the loss of revenue, not to mention face amongst the other vamps, so many years ago. Then why hire a contract killer WHO'S HUMAN? AND how does Clemente even know Gavin is gay or kinky for that matter? It's not like they have regular lunch dates.

Hissy fit #2: The BDSM is offensive. Extremely offensive. One might even go so far as to call it abusive.

"Strip. Now," Mick ordered.

"And if I don't?" Gavin retorted, pushing buttons. He could feel the tension rolling off Mick, even if his lover wasn't aware of it himself.

Mick grabbed Gavin's biceps painfully. "Are you defying me?"

Gavin lowered his gaze, shaking his head. "No," he whispered.

"Then do as you're told." Mick brought one hand down so hard on Gavin's denim covered ass that Gavin felt as if he was already naked from the pain that ensued.

Mick removed his fingers, instantly replacing them with the thick head of his swollen cock. He thrust in hard and fast. Gavin couldn't help it. He shouted as pain tore through him then bit down on the pillow to keep from doing so again.
"Shh, shh," Mick whispered unexpectedly. "It's what you need. What I need to give you."

When Mick slapped his ass, hard, Gavin let out a yelp then bit back on another one when it happened again and Mick ordered him to remain silent. It was hard to keep quiet. Mick was being almost vicious with his hits. The only thing that gave Gavin the willpower to obey was telling himself that Mick needed to work out the last of his residual anger. Anger at Gavin for not trusting him.

Needless to say there was some colorful language, one fingered salutes and a smorgasbord of eye rolling going on on my part. To add insult to injury, the kinky sex was also boring and quick. It's like the same scene over and over. I wonder if they were just copy/paste scenes with a tweak here and there.

Hissy fit #3:  The misogyny. 

"…No wonder women aren't my thing. You can't trust them any further than you can throw them."

That statement alone wouldn't be enough to offend me, but this was the tone throughout. Women are untrustworthy, flighty, malicious and diabolical. Then the whole downplaying the importance of prior relationships card got pulled. I hate that card. Gavin was married and had a daughter. He eschews calling himself bisexual and calls his wife a beard that he never loved. And I'm supposed to like this person? I get the whole marriage of convenience thing and being closeted. What I don't get is having a daughter with someone and never feeling anything for that person and he's NOT the contract killer here. He's portrayed as being sensitive, a pacifist and free spirited. So, just an asshole. Gotcha. I'm not even going to go into him needing said beard to fit into his pack that isn't accepting of homosexuality; the same pack that he's in now. 

The rest of my problems with this book stem from bad writing, rife with redundancies like:

"Is that an existential question? Like why do we exist? What is the meaning of life? What is my purpose?"

Thanks for clearing up what existential means. I wouldn't have known otherwise.

The writing is tedious with endless financial talk and encryption of emails. The plot is plodding. There was one point where Mick and Gavin accept a contract where the hirer wants to collect double indemnity from the life insurance which Mick believes translates into he has to kill the person at their place of work. That's kind of amusing in a 'how-the-fuck-did-you-get-to-be-a-contract-killer?' kind of way. Anyone out there who has set your sights on learning how to become a contract killer, you could learn more from Grosse Pointe Blanke. Just a tip from me to you.

If you're able to suspend disbelief to infinity and beyond, you may enjoy this.

A review copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.

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