Fangirl Moment: Dark Space by Lisa Henry

Brady Garrett needs to go home. He’s a conscripted recruit on Defender Three, one of a network of stations designed to protect the Earth from alien attack. He's also angry, homesick, and afraid. If he doesn’t get home he’ll lose his family, but there’s no way back except in a body bag.

Cameron Rushton needs a heartbeat. Four years ago Cam was taken by the Faceless — the alien race that almost destroyed Earth. Now he’s back, and when the doctors make a mess of getting him out of stasis, Brady becomes his temporary human pacemaker. Except they’re sharing more than a heartbeat: they’re sharing thoughts, memories, and some very vivid dreams.

Not that Brady’s got time to worry about his growing attraction to another guy, especially the one guy in the universe who can read his mind. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just biochemistry and electrical impulses. It doesn’t change the truth: Brady’s alone in the universe.

Now the Faceless are coming and there’s nothing anyone can do. You can’t stop your nightmares. Cam says everyone will live, but Cam’s probably a traitor and a liar like the military thinks. But that’s okay. Guys like Brady don’t expect happy endings.

This review was previously posted on Goodreads but I love this book so much I just had to share it here as well.

I am a complete and utter mess after reading this book. I don’t even think I can articulate how I feel. My thoughts and emotions are all over the place.

I’m not even sure I could tell you what this book was about. Was it GFY? Yes, but not in any way that I have ever read. It’s almost as though the feelings of being gay were forced upon Brady but then you get the feeling that they were already there, just buried so deep that Brady wasn‘t even aware of them. Maybe. Sorta. I don’t fucking know.

And that, my friends, is the gist of the whole story. It was one big confused cluster fuck. At least from Brady’s point of view. But. It. Was. Amazing!

Brady has had a hard life. A hard life. Everything he’s had and everyone he’s loved has been ripped from his grasp over and over again. Its no wonder that he can’t accept when something good comes along. He’s so depressed and despondent that he’s barely holding his head above water. He’s going through the motions of life, just biding his time in the service until he can get back home to his family. Then, in a chance occurrence he’s somehow bonded to Cameron in a way that’s so intimate, so invasive that he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He’s scared but intrigued.

And he’s confused.

He doesn’t know if the emotions flooding him are Cameron’s or his own. He has these memories and knows that they aren’t his but he can’t help the reactions he has to them. He can’t trust his own feelings because he doesn’t know if they are a biochemical reaction to the bonding or if they are his true feelings. He just. Doesn’t. Know.

Cameron’s an enigma. The only human in the known universe to have been taken by the Faceless and returned alive. And he’s broken. Or is he? Is he a survivor and a hero? Or is he a traitor to the human race? All he will say about his time in captivity is that “the Faceless are coming and they want peace”. But do they really? Again, you just don’t know.

The bond they share, though it may just be a biochemical reaction, is so deep, so totally encompassing that it is almost too much to take. And you can’t quite tell when it turns into something more. It is so in your face but at the same time subtle, if you can make sense of that. I told you, it’s confusing as hell!

And the creep factor, my God the creep factor! I will be sleeping with the lights on tonight for sure. The Faceless are so cold, so impersonal that even though their speech and touch may be gentle you can’t help but shudder and feel the hairs rise on the back of your neck. To them, we are no more than animals to be studied or, in Cameron’s case, be kept as pets. They call humans “it” as though we are nothing more than inanimate objects. It rings of sociopath behavior with a bit of mad scientist thrown in.

“I’m not the same as him!” I said again, my eyes stinging with tears, my nose dripping. 

“We’re not all the same!”

But who can tell the difference between insects, right?

This story wasn’t a roller coaster ride. It was jumping out of an airplane without a fucking parachute. Just when you come to terms with your imminent death you realize you have wings and you soar. Then you find out the wings are just your imagination and you plummet again. Right as you’re about to hit the ground you are picked up by a mighty gust of wind and brought safely to the earth to land on your knees only to notice a shadow swiftly growing larger around you and see that it is the plane you jumped from hurtling through the air, coming to crash land right on top of you. It’s that intense.

Yet throughout all this turmoil there is a feeling of hope and comfort and happiness. And love. And that’s the kicker right there. That is what made it all worth it.

This is the first solo venture of Lisa Henry’s that I have read but it will certainly not be the last! Lisa, you are awe inspiring. You have blown me away with your words. You, dear lady, can write!